It's freaking Friday and that means the Bitter Express is getting ready to leave the station. The Bitter Express is a different roller coaster ride than you are used to. Most roller coaster rides are full of excitement, screaming, thrilling drops and crazy loop de loops and then, they eventually end. The Bitter Express … Continue reading Taking a Ride on the Bitter Gifture Express
Bitter Friday Giftures
National Hug Day Bitter Giftures
I found out that yesterday was yet another holiday that I didn't get off work for. National Hugger's Day they call it. Of course, I don't believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone's ribs that I'm not real fond of. This is not to say that I … Continue reading National Hug Day Bitter Giftures
Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
Yesterday was so depressing. Some weirdos in Florida and California took my winning lottery tickets from me, my idol and hero who played all the best villains, Alan Rickman died(Hans Gruber AND Snape. Two of the most bitter guys in cinema.) and once again my book didn't get published. Some say you should actually … Continue reading Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
In case you didn't know it, I am here to remind you that today is Friday. That means it is time to bail. Time to throw aside your work clothes and put on "Casual Friday" clothes. Time to bail on your diet that you committed to on Jan. 1 and get some pizza instead … Continue reading It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
I was a walking disaster yesterday. All my hair fell out (I got a hair cut), I got stuck to the couch (gravity can be such a bother sometimes) and I cut my thumb while losing a fight to my eight year old. Some days are just more bitter than others. If my life … Continue reading Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
You realize that Black Friday is a crazy day filled with lunatics pushing each other out of the way for products that they are using to push their old stuff out of the way right? You know what else Black Friday is? It is the December holidays pushing Thanksgiving out of the way. As … Continue reading Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
The Bitter Library of Giftures
This is no ordinary library, where I'm sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help. This isn't a place where you whisper in your screaming voice to all your neighbors about what you are reading. This is the Bitter Library of Giftures. We are similar to other libraries in that we … Continue reading The Bitter Library of Giftures
Taking you all to School Friday Giftures
This is the kind of week I dream about. I was off this whole week so I could watch the kids, so my wife could go on a trip. This was my chance to be lazy. The chance for me to lay on the couch, watch TV and do not much. Well, that's all it … Continue reading Taking you all to School Friday Giftures
Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
For some reason, around this time of year, fears seem to pop up as an issue. People seems to want to talk about their fear of spiders or ghosts or the dark or cholesterol or the way too upbeatness of SpongeBob. Maybe it's because Halloween brings the spookiness out of people, or this time … Continue reading Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
Gears of Bitterness
One of my favorite video games of all time is Gears of War 3. It's a manly tale of bros just hanging out, watching TV, eating pizza, playing video games, saving each others places in line. They also like to go shoot a few rounds at the range and hang out at each others houses. … Continue reading Gears of Bitterness
Bitter Introductions to Friday Giftures
This week we had some sales reps for our company in town, some of whom we have never met, so lunches were arranged between different departments so we could meet each other. Meeting new people is the worst. Pretending to care about what someone says, doing the dreadful small talk that all introverts hate … Continue reading Bitter Introductions to Friday Giftures
The Bitter Barrier Reef of Giftures
As an introvert, I do my best to keep my favorite company (myself)around as much as possible. I try to stay at my desk not talking to people, and pray that they will see the invisible cocoon that I put up to prevent others speaking to me. Unfortunately, some people are very bad at … Continue reading The Bitter Barrier Reef of Giftures
Winners and losers Friday Giftures
I'm not a competitive person at all which is great, but my son is, so every time I go to the car, I'm in an Amazing Race for my life with my son. If I was a competitive person, I would be devastated all the time, because I don't think I've beat him in … Continue reading Winners and losers Friday Giftures
Fight or Flight Friday Giftures
Sometimes when you get trapped (in your cubicle, or in a store) there are only two things you can do. You can Fight for Your Right to Party, or you can join the Flight Club, but just remember the first rule about the Flight Club. Do not talk about the Flight Club. Second rule, … Continue reading Fight or Flight Friday Giftures
Dental Friday Giftures
I'm no an Anti-Dentite(yes Jerry, I'm bringing it back) but I just paid a visit to my dentist and his crew on Wednesday. And these guys and girls were all swagging around the DO (Dentist's Office) like they owned the place (they really only own part of the place). These guys and girls think … Continue reading Dental Friday Giftures
Clawing your way to the Middle Friday Giftures
Remember when you were a kid and you played baseball or soccer or gymnastics and you didn't get first, second or third so they gave you a participation badge? Remember those summers when you just wanted to stay inside all the time and just watch TV? Remember those times when you were in a group … Continue reading Clawing your way to the Middle Friday Giftures
Bitter Payback Friday Giftures
It's national get back that jerk at work day. I'm not sure if that is true, but we are celebrating that on a local level and by local level, I mean on my level. And by jerk at work, I mean whatever jerk you want to find to get back at. If nothing else, … Continue reading Bitter Payback Friday Giftures
Bitter Scavenger Hunt Giftures
Raise of hands here. Who could have been about 15 times more efficient at work with one or two pieces of vital information that was either not given freely or hidden from you by an annoying co-worker? Yep, that is me raising my arm bitterly and furiously like Hermoine in a Defense against the Dark … Continue reading Bitter Scavenger Hunt Giftures
Making it Rain like Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls Like the Motion of the Ocean Friday Gifture
For some reason, there is this mythological romantic, almost magical alure that the ocean holds over people. The rhythm of the waves, the peaceful sounds of the seagulls. The majesty of being one with ocean while surfing, and the quiet of the air, the sand getting in every nook and cranny, the uncertainty of what … Continue reading Making it Rain like Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls Like the Motion of the Ocean Friday Gifture
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