Candy Crushing Friday Giftures


I’m not sure why Candy Crush is so popular, because why would you ever want to crush candy? There are a lot of things in this world that are worthy of being broken and I think while candy isn’t the last on the list, it is pretty close to being the last thing I would want to break. Speaking of crushing, this week has done a whole lot of that to people’s dreams. Like the dreams of a Facebook free of stupid people talking about stupid things. Like the dreams of getting lot’s of pepperoni on your pizza. Like the dreams of Leo ever getting an O Scar. Yeah, he won an academy award this week, but will he ever get an O scar on his face from fighting a bear? Let’s take a look at other people’s dreams being crushed.

This guy’s dream of being the first ever Nascar non driver…


…just took a big hit.

 This computer’s dream of becoming a supercomputer…


…just became obsolete.

This goalie’s dream of becoming the world’s greatest stopper…


…just lost it’s footing.

This trio of girl’s becoming the next Destiny’s Child…


…just faced its first obstacle. 

This guy’s dream of one day having a family…


…have just been kicked to the curb.

This girl’s dream of a shotgun wedding…


…were just catapulted. 

Good morning, let’s get off to a smooth…


…aaaand day crushed.

This guy…


…can feel your pain.

This guy’s dream of living on the earth…


…just got buried underneath it. 

This guy had dream of one day getting automatic Cheetos delivery…


…but crushed this pathetic machine because it could only bring him one at a time.

He was doing his best to cut the guy behind him…


…but the guy had to be all defensive and move.

This girl was trying so hard to fall off…


…but the guy had to use his telekinesis to stop it.

Getting your dreams crushed is a hard, but necessary step in becoming your most bitter self. I hope you can use these giftures to motivate yourself to become a more complete and bitter person. Now go out there and get your dreams crushed. Or sit on the couch and wait for the crushing come to you.


Bitter Candy Crushed Dreams Ben

49 thoughts on “Candy Crushing Friday Giftures

  1. Love the Cheetos delivery system! The dental hygienist hates it when I come in with orange pseudo-cheese stuck all over my teeth, so last time, I asked the desk clerk for my free toothbrush when I checked in. To get the worst of it off, you know? She looked down at the schedule, rolled her eyes, and said, “You’re here for a cleaning… let the girl do her goddamn job!” Oh yeah, no bitterness between those two. I still eat Cheetos beforehand, just to egg them on.


    • I totally want that Cheetos drone, but a well improved version. That can do more than 1 Cheeto.
      I was going to do that to my DH, but then she made me so bitter, I decided to not brush my teeth the next day. Take that Dental Hygentist.


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