Bitter Auto Sarcastic Answerer

My life gets really hectic sometimes. I have all kinds of people to ignore, situations that take time to avoid, and work that needs to be done that I need to find excuses for not doing. It is a hectic life and one that doesn't allow a lot of time for ambition. It's not easy … Continue reading Bitter Auto Sarcastic Answerer

Advertisements

Maniac Monday – How did I survive?

I was at my sister's house for dinner the other day. My wife was out of town and I was trying to single parent for the week. I made the easy stuff, like Mac N Cheese and the Chicken Alfredo from Costco. So, I decided to allow my sister to have us over for dinner, … Continue reading Maniac Monday – How did I survive?

Yanny vs. Laurel Friday Giftures

  Oh my gosh, seriously. An audio file is taking over the internet, going viral. An audio file. The last time an audio file was popular when back in the 1990's when computers were first using them. Last night my sister and I were educating my kids about VCR's, the internet not existing when we … Continue reading Yanny vs. Laurel Friday Giftures

Transform and Roll Out

I was a child of the 80's. Unlike most children of the 80's, I thought that decade sucked. There were a few good things about it. There was Back to the Future, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Run DMC, but for the most part, I didn't participate in most of the crappy movies, TV … Continue reading Transform and Roll Out

Sometimes I feel like…somebodies watching me Bitterness

When I was in high school, I worked at Target. I usually closed up shop around 11 pm, then drove home on the abandoned roads of Sioux Falls. When I was in high school, I could be kind of a jerk as you might be able to imagine. Anyways, on the way home one night, … Continue reading Sometimes I feel like…somebodies watching me Bitterness

Maniac Monday – I bumped my head on the Fridge

Even though I am pretty clumsy, I have never broken a bone. (Not that I haven't tried.) When I was in fourth grade, I was at recess and was playing this game called "Run and slip on the ice".  (I lived in South Dakota, where ice slipping is considered a sport.) and fell and hurt … Continue reading Maniac Monday – I bumped my head on the Fridge

Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures

  For all you The Office fan's out there, the borientation is what Micheal Scott calls the orientation that Toby wants Micheal to give when he welcomes the new members of the Stamford branch. Of course, Micheal always has different ideas, more creative ideas, just like most of us creative people. He decides to make … Continue reading Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Part Extensions

  I've often talked about my desire to someday become a cyborg. Seriously, who wouldn't want to replace their creaky knees for something metal and mechanical that would only break down if you don't oil it enough. Replace this ailing shoulder with some hardcore vibrainium that is as hard as Captain America's sheild? Sounds good … Continue reading Bitter Part Extensions

This Dream is Sponsored By Little Caesars

When I was in junior high, I was already starting to think about my career, all because one of my stupid teachers told us we had to think about careers. My initial decision was advertising. Then, when I got to high school, I had to take a speech class which wasn't terrifrying at all. The … Continue reading This Dream is Sponsored By Little Caesars

Mr. Clean

My wife likes to torture me with the TV she watches. She loves to watch Hallmark and Lifetime network shows. Even worse though are Intervention. My least favorite of all is Hoarders. Hoarders sickens me. I am not a hoarder by any stretch of the imagination. That show makes me sick to my stomach. Not … Continue reading Mr. Clean

Maniac Monday – False Alarms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsmVgoXDq2w I was thinking about doing a new segment here on the blog and what a bitter way to start it then on this Monday when I am particularly bitter about a certain subject. But first, lemme tell you what the segment is called. Maniac Monday, of course stolen by the song by the Bangles, … Continue reading Maniac Monday – False Alarms

Shake Your Money Earner Bitter Friday Giftures

  I know you all what my brand is on this blog, Bitter, but if this were an actual brand that made money, what do you think the "catch phrase" would be? Meaning, if this blog was a television show, and you knew the show wouldn't be complete without having this post every week, what … Continue reading Shake Your Money Earner Bitter Friday Giftures

You Don’t Deserve My Best Work

When I started this blog I was just a little bitterling in a really huge pond. I had no other intention except to express my feelings about all the bitterness in the world.  A few co-workers knew about it, because they were the ones that called me Bitter Ben. They knew I was bitter about … Continue reading You Don’t Deserve My Best Work

Defense v Offensive

Yesterday we talked about how we could use the bitterness from our adversity to become Superheros. How maybe it is just the extreme that we take that makes us a Superhero. But today let's look at the other side of the coin, the Supervillian. You know that they just took their bitterness to the extreme … Continue reading Defense v Offensive

Superhero Bitter Suffering

We all go through a certain amount of suffering in our lives. Some more severe than others that is for sure. I know everytime I decide to complain, I get an earful from everyone about how there are starving kids in Africa and many people have suffered way more than I have in just about … Continue reading Superhero Bitter Suffering

A Half as Bitter Friday Giftures

On my way in to work this morning, I heard there was a big war that was coming. Some big guy named Thanos was coming from some other part of the universe to earth and trying to destroy half of us. If I might just have an audience with Mr. Thanos, I would love to … Continue reading A Half as Bitter Friday Giftures

I’m ready to sell out

I've never been to a concert in my life. I don't know if it is because I like money, because I want to my ears to work, because no one has ever invited me to one, or be...oh yeah, it's because I hate crowds. We've already talked about my claustraphobia this week. That is one … Continue reading I’m ready to sell out

Lettuce Talk about this Bitterness

The first job I ever had was at Little Caeser's Pizza. I was just a burgeoning bitterling at 15 and my dad told me I had to get a job. The only reason I got the job was because the manager was new and he didn't really know what he was doing either. He didn't … Continue reading Lettuce Talk about this Bitterness