Hey Bitter Journal (I'm not going to call you a dear, journal) What's up bro? Doing good? No? Yeah me either. Life is pretty bitter these days. All kinds of things are making me bitter lately. As you should know my now, work sucks. You know what is irritating? Besides everything? They expect me to … Continue reading Hey Bitter Journal
Month: September 2014
Friday Slideday
I declare that it is officially Friday Slideday. That means you are officially invited to slide down a notch whatever it is that you were doing today. So, if you were at a slight 30% capacity on doing work this morning, slide that down a very comfortable and barely functioning 10%. If you … Continue reading Friday Slideday
B.A.T. (Bitter Advice Thursday)
As you may know if you are savvy at looking at calendars and assessing the difference between days (What's the difference between Monday and Tuesday again?), you would see that it is Thursday. Since I am such an expert at being bitter, and some of my readers really struggle with being such, I thought I … Continue reading B.A.T. (Bitter Advice Thursday)
Collection bitterness
On Sunday, as is tradition, we were watching some incredibly dull TLC/Home Improvement network/Discovery/Bio network show called Extreme Collections or something. It was about this guy who meets with people that have large collections of things, anywhere from cars to trains to harmonica's or baseball cards. Most people on the show had collected an immense … Continue reading Collection bitterness
Bitterly Bad Decision Monday
I make really bad decisions on a daily basis, but when given two days of "freedom" on the weekend there are even worse decisions made. For instance, this weekend there was the whole sleepover thing that lead to me going to bed at 9:40 pm Friday (the life of an old year old.) This lead me … Continue reading Bitterly Bad Decision Monday
The Bitter Realm Conclusion – The Lost Relics
Cause the third part of the triquel is always the most disappointing.
A nightmare of boredom.
So as you probably don’t remember because it was all the way back in July (I know, a couple of months ago, how is anyone expected to remember that long ago?) I decided to join another realm because I was so sick of this one. If you can’t remember what was going on, I don’t blame you, because I don’t remember either. Since that is the case, both you and I are going to be forced to go back and read Part 1 and Part 2 again if we are ever going to figure out what is going on here. So go back, read those two (or don’t) and here concludes that one time I went to another realm.
An FYI for those lazy people that just couldn’t go back and read Part 1 and 2, I’m in the video game realm and I got assigned to be in the upper…
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The Bitter Realm Part 2
Cause the sequel is always worse.
So, I did a post last week about leaving this realm and going to another because doing stuff in this realm is hard and I’m laaazy. This is the continuation of that post, which bored and astounded no one. If you want something to put you to sleep, read the first part right here. If you want excitement and adventure, stop reading this post 63 words ago.
So, here I am still in this stupid line. They kicked me into the villain line, which was clearly a mistake. Don’t they know who I am on the earth? I’m at least in the top 7 billion for most important and wealthiest people on earth. They need to learn a little respect.
ME: Excuse me person in front of me. Why is it taking so long for me to get entrance in the video game realm? I’m getting really tired of standing. How many are in…
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The Bitter Realm Part 1
Cause I wanted to let you read all at once.
I’m joining this realm soon.
After much contemplation (day dreaming at work) and coming to realization that I can’t stand anyone anymore, I have decided that I have had enough of this realm. This earth has too much gravity (it’s always holding me down) and the trees (with their fancy leaves and their condescending looks from above)have ruled here too long. I’m defecting. I can’t stand the day to day grind. I keep doing the same thing over and over. I keep eating food every day, I keep fighting the same traffic every day, I keep fixing the same mistakes of other people every day, I keep listening to the same whiners on the phone every day, I keep writing the same blog post every other day. I have decided to defect. Therefore, I have decided to embrace my pixely side. Goodbye earth, hello world of video games. As soon as I finish this paragraph, I’m going…
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Spoiler Warnings Bitter Fridays
If you have read the internet in the last few weeks, you know there is a new fad going around. It involves movies, TV and Youtube videos. For some reason, people get busy doing work, going to school functions like school curriculum night or shopping for food and other unimportant tasks. Poor, sad, cleverly written … Continue reading Spoiler Warnings Bitter Fridays
The Bitter Realm Conclusion – The Lost Relics
So as you probably don't remember because it was all the way back in July (I know, a couple of months ago, how is anyone expected to remember that long ago?) I decided to join another realm because I was so sick of this one. If you can't remember what was going on, I don't blame … Continue reading The Bitter Realm Conclusion – The Lost Relics
Guardians of the Bendramada Galaxy
I'm sure you've all seen the recent Marvel movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, which is about a small team of unlikely and really bitter idiots superheros that somehow come together AS A TEAM to save the Galaxy from getting destroyed by some random evil villain like person. I figure if those idiots could save the ENTIRE GALAXY, that I … Continue reading Guardians of the Bendramada Galaxy
Monday Morning Bitterness
Just like everyone else, I just can't believe the weekend is over and I have to return to the scene of the crime, I mean work. If I have to be here, I might as well make all the of you miserable, by making a heavy sigh, Hhhhhhh, and rubbing my eyes, reh er reh er, … Continue reading Monday Morning Bitterness
Jettisoned Bitter Friday Pictures
Just the other day I realized that jettisoned is one of my favorite new words. Probably because of what it means, or at least what I thought it meant. I thought it was some general word about getting rid of something in your life to lighten your load. But then I had to go to … Continue reading Jettisoned Bitter Friday Pictures
Some amount of reasons why swimming makes me bitter
I spent a lot of time this summer swimming in pools. We went from water parks with amusement park rides, to water parks with lazy rivers to a pool that just had a diving board. Several of those times we ended up getting wet. In fact, did you know that when you go swimming, … Continue reading Some amount of reasons why swimming makes me bitter
From the BitterBenzoac Era to the Bitter Twitter Era
Let me just say this so you can be bitter at me. The post you are going to read below (or not) was from almost a year ago. I am both too lazy and also too busy to do something new today, so just deal with it. Also, just so you know, most of you … Continue reading From the BitterBenzoac Era to the Bitter Twitter Era
Keep Calm and Remain Bitter
Oh..hey. What's up? Just a little reminder...whether your wi-fi isn't working, your in-laws are in town, or your back hurts because you fell off your roof trying to take down your old satellite and a bear appeared along with a honeycomb of bees and scared the crap out of you...you should remain bitter. Whether … Continue reading Keep Calm and Remain Bitter
Smash Mouth Bitter Giftures
I like to break stuff. Sometimes I do it unintentionally like when I step on my sunglasses or drop my Ipod, or accidentally break a window when I hit a baseball so far that it breaks windows two houses down. Just kidding I suck at baseball, but I do break windows. What is way more … Continue reading Smash Mouth Bitter Giftures
The Rise of the Blanket Fort
When I dream, I often dream big. In the literal sense. Back when I was in school, I would have these dreams about this ginormous school that had 8,000 classes and that would take a speed train just to get from one class to the other. The lockers were the size of a house … Continue reading The Rise of the Blanket Fort
Bitter Complaint Day
Welcome back on the most bitter of days. A Tuesday (worst day of the week) after a holiday (always more work to make up for) after a bitter summer(now begins the bitter fall). Today, I thought I would try something new. If you have ever read my About Page, you know that the reason … Continue reading Bitter Complaint Day
Ben's Bitter Blog 