A little while ago, I was telling my son about the glamorous life of being an adult and he was like, "Dad, I totally want to trade. I want to go to work, and you can go to my school! You can be the kid and I can be an adult. You can do boring … Continue reading The Bitter Body Swap
Month: December 2015
Things you are Bitterly Sick Of (Besides my Blog)
I'm sure some people are going to claim they had a good holiday and they got everything they wanted and did everything they wanted and got along so well with their families or had some good time away. But as you know, being bitter is about thinking about things in a whole different way than … Continue reading Things you are Bitterly Sick Of (Besides my Blog)
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Day v. Night
Annnd...now the awkward season of "Did I accomplish anything this year?" begins. At least for people that actually have goals and stuff. Those people are probably hard at work with guilt and regret and suffering because they didn't live up to goals. And scheming is taking place to start new goals. That must cause … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Day v. Night
Some Last minute Friday Gif Ideas
I feel you, last minute procrastinator shoppers. I'm out shopping for my last minute gifs RIGHT NOW. For some reason all the stores seem to be closed, but I'm bound and determined...just kidding, I'm just wandering around out here. Where is everyone by the way? How is it that I'm am supposed to get … Continue reading Some Last minute Friday Gif Ideas
All I want for Christmas…
When someone tries to teach me something, they need to bring visual aids. If it is math, I need some story problems. If it is science, I need a telescope. If it is a restaurant you are trying to convince me to go to, bring me a pizza from there. You can't ask … Continue reading All I want for Christmas…
Bitter Ben’s Christmas Letter
Friends, Family and other Bitter People I know: This year was so exciting, I almost forgot to send out my Christmas Letter. I know you guys aren't my family, but you ignore me just as much as my family does, so I consider you just like them. I couldn't afford postage to send this to … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Christmas Letter
Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Taking over the World
It was 1998 when I knew I wanted to take over the world. Pinky and the Brain inspired it. (If a couple of lab rats can almost do it, I certainly could with my human like size.) My best friend from college and I always talked about it and planned it. We would start slowly with him … Continue reading Taking over the World
The Bitter Gauntlet
I was born in the 70's, which means...I grew up in the 80's. If you've read the history books about the 80's (or lived in them) it was a colorful time...literally. Colors that no other decade would even touch (like neon anything), fabrics no other decade would wear (parachute pants?), and hairstyles no other decade … Continue reading The Bitter Gauntlet
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
You would think that this time of year, with the spirit of the holidays, competition would begin to tail off a little bit. But you would be wrong. Things seem to heat up even more for some reason. Rivalries start to get even more intense. The Great American Light Fight has expanded the fight to … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
Unstable Friday Giftures
I've been thrown off kilter this week, because for some reason I decided to take the whole week but Friday off. Getting up for one day of work is exhausting and I think after already 20 minutes of work I have done already, I'm already ready for the weekend. Remind me next time to just … Continue reading Unstable Friday Giftures
The Bitter Safety Dance
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about me. Listen closely now. Ready? I have a little trouble with authority. Ever since I was young. Close your mouth from the shock. Take you finger out of the light socket. You don't want to get shocked a second time. Remove your tongue from the … Continue reading The Bitter Safety Dance
The Bitter RadiNo Disney
I do a lot of things in my car that I don't do normally do otherwise. I scream out loud, I sing, I lay down on a seat instead of a couch, I run from the cops, etc. There is just something about having a heavy metal layer of protection around you that allows you … Continue reading The Bitter RadiNo Disney
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
We are in the middle of a huge flood. Batten down the hatches and start weatherproofing your house. The cheesy Hallmark, ABC Family, Lifetime, UP Network and all other channel onslaught of Christmas specials are coming. Romance in snowed airports, Christmas dogs, losing jobs in marketing, finance and accounting and having to return to family … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
I was a walking disaster yesterday. All my hair fell out (I got a hair cut), I got stuck to the couch (gravity can be such a bother sometimes) and I cut my thumb while losing a fight to my eight year old. Some days are just more bitter than others. If my life … Continue reading Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
The Bitter Dust Collector
If you've ever been the least bit obsessed about anything and felt like kind of a tool for liking something too much, just enter the name of that thing into Google and you can find a vast array of people around the world that are WAY more of a tool than you. When I was … Continue reading The Bitter Dust Collector
Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
There's a lot of words that can describe the little movie franchise that could. Fast. Furious. Fast and Furious. 2 Fast 2 Furious. Fast 5. Furious 7. The list of ways to describe it are endless. Somehow I missed this one in the theaters, but I saw it on Blu-Ray this weekend. Let me put … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
Ben's Bitter Blog 