Tidying Up with Bitter Ben

  A lot of people are really good at things in their everyday lives that seem pretty inconsequential. Some people are great at doing laundry. They know the right temperature, the best fabric softener and the setting that every piece of clothing should be set at. Other people are amazing at cooking. They have a … Continue reading Tidying Up with Bitter Ben

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The Best Handheld Device

    When I grew up, we had these things called phones that were just a menace. They had long cords, big circular dials and were only used for actually calling people to talk, which quite frankly is the least good thing about phones. If you wanted to talk to someone that lived far away, … Continue reading The Best Handheld Device

Random Doesn’t Equal Funny

According to my daughter, random doesn't equal funny. Although according to her, she also thinks puns aren't funny. Actually, I think she also just thinks I'm not funny. Yeah, that is it. That wasn't always true though. She used to laugh when I played Peek-A-Boo. I guess the older you get, the less you think … Continue reading Random Doesn’t Equal Funny

Instant Regret Bitter Friday Giftures

  You know those days when you wake up and you instantly regret waking up? I'm sure I have a lot of dreams that I just don't remember, but I'm almost always sure that the dream is better than the reality. So I wake up, tired, sore, groggy and needing more rest and I instantly … Continue reading Instant Regret Bitter Friday Giftures

Exercise Bitterness

Yesterday I talked about sports and how I used to enjoy them. Today I'm going to talk about how they ruined my life. To get some context, my son is a burgeoning athlete. He is so much bigger than other kids his age, that sometimes it doesn't even seem fair. In fact, in football, I … Continue reading Exercise Bitterness

Electronic Graveyard Bitter Friday Giftures

  When it comes to things I like, most of it has to do with electronics. Most things that are electronic are expensive. Therefore, I don't normally go to a mall like my wife and just buy a few things and marvel at how inexpensive they are. I have to go to places like Best … Continue reading Electronic Graveyard Bitter Friday Giftures

My Bitter Love Language

  As the self-proclaimed foremost expert on bitterness, I have done my best to study the bitterness emotion in all its varieties. It is not a complex emotion, but a very underrated and underused one. People always love the rage, and the happy, and the sad, but rarely do they ever think about the bitter. … Continue reading My Bitter Love Language

Bitter Christmas Gremlins

I have a pretty outstanding sense of direction. I can almost always tell where I am and where I need to go. It was always something built inside me and something I have tried really hard not to develop at all. Whenever I have been somewhere once, I can almost always find it again without … Continue reading Bitter Christmas Gremlins

Secret Stone on Our House

When I got home on Friday, I was told we had bees. One of my least favorite things are bees, the ones that sting anyways. In the summertime of my 14th year, it was a warm day and we had our sliding door open. For some reason, I was¬† running in circles in our television … Continue reading Secret Stone on Our House

All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures

  We are still putting the closing touches on our move. Our kids had their last day, so of course, they got kid parties to go to. So between my wife and I we made like 5 trips back and forth between our new place and the old one, the last one to pick up … Continue reading All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogram…

  ...to bring your this message from the Emergency Bittercast System. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pizvdm_DbFY Bitter Ben was going to write another terrible¬† bitter blog post today, but he is unavailable today, because it is Memorial Day and he is asleep right now. Because he is sleeping right now, I am going to take over the blog to … Continue reading We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogram…

The Devil’s Haircut Bitter Friday Giftures

  I have almost no hair. I've never really had much and honestly I've never even wanted long hair, even back in the 80's when lots of dudes did. I'm not much of a fan of hair because it grosses me out when it gets in my mouth or near my face. Anyways, the haircut … Continue reading The Devil’s Haircut Bitter Friday Giftures