A Total Eclipse of the Hero

If you haven't heard of the total eclipse of the sun that is coming, then you've been even more hidden from the news than I have. I took a quick trip to Seattle for a wedding this weekend, and it was all people could talk about. Mostly because people are taking pilgrimages up to Idaho … Continue reading A Total Eclipse of the Hero

I’m Not a Big Fan of Friday Giftures

  While the heat continues to plague us, we find ways to beat the heat. Since I have the air conditioning set at arctic temperatures, so I have to sleep in a heavy coat under my comforter, it is okay when I am inside the house. However, for those six seconds between the house and … Continue reading I’m Not a Big Fan of Friday Giftures

Bitter Exchange Program

I remember when I was a younger Bitter Ben and my skills at bitterness weren't as refined or perfected, and my family decided that having 5 kids plus two parents wasn't enough for our house. Since my sister was learning french, my parents decided to take in a foreign exchange student. Her name was Virginia … Continue reading Bitter Exchange Program

Driving Mr. and Mrs. Baby

Remember last weekend when I told you about my life in crime? When I was the most wanted driver in three states? Well, I guess all that crazy driving paid off. An old couple in my neighborhood got wind of my excellent driving skills(or maybe they just heard I was unemployed at the moment) and … Continue reading Driving Mr. and Mrs. Baby

Life’s Little Bitter Annoyances Friday Giftures

  It's not everyday when there are big bitter annoyances that happen like traffic accidents, or annoying co-workers talking to you all day. It's on those days when you need to search out  for the little things that annoy you. Sometimes you just have to be thankful for the mosquitoes buzzing in your ear, or … Continue reading Life’s Little Bitter Annoyances Friday Giftures

My Bitter Life of Crime

You would think that a guy that sits on the couch as much as I do, wouldn't attract the law as much as I do. You would think that a guy that drives like an old grandma that can barely see over her steering wheel, wouldn't have as many speeding tickets as I do. My … Continue reading My Bitter Life of Crime

An ode to the screens in my life

From the moment I wake up my screen wakes up too. The moment I put the head to the pillow my screens sleep too. This is an ode to my TV, my phone and my computer. We all have a combination of three in some manner.  You might replace the phone with a tablet, a … Continue reading An ode to the screens in my life

The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures

I guess it is August now, which means it is the dog days of the summer. That means we should lazily be sitting around the house like dogs do in a heat wave right? I am totally down with that. If Pizza Hut could go ahead and deliver pizza to my mouth that would be … Continue reading The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures

Bitter Family Reunions

  It's that time of the year now. All your fun vacations are over. You've spent time on your tropical island, did the amusement park, and toured the amazing architecture of some cathedral and it's back to work. You've used up all your vacation time, except for that one week you are hoping to use … Continue reading Bitter Family Reunions

Home run Bitter Giftures

My son and I have had this nightly routine this summer. I get home from work and sweaty and sticky, because my car doesn't have air conditioning. Around 5:30 pm, I throw my stuff everywhere, talk with the wife about our days, and just when I sit down and chill on my phone.  Just when … Continue reading Home run Bitter Giftures

I have adjustable speeds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qutU-XiAzFg When I first started to drive at the age of 14, I had to learn on an automatic car. I quickly learned how to do that, and I got bored. In an automatic, all you have to do is push the gas occasionally and the shifting is done for you. I started doing stupid … Continue reading I have adjustable speeds

Not so cool Friday Giftures

I don't work at the speed of light. I have a tendency to be slackadaisical from time to time, especially when it comes to people I don't needing things from me. I take my time to do things mediocrially. But for the most part I get things done within the day that you need it. … Continue reading Not so cool Friday Giftures

Awkward Party of 7, please

I haven't done this before, but today is my oldest girl's birthday. She just transitioned from the awkward age of 12, to the even more awkward age of 13. So officially, I now have a teen living under my roof and that is bad news. I've heard that they can be kind of a pain. … Continue reading Awkward Party of 7, please

Bitter Copywriter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qutU-XiAzFg&t=9s You know how most people when they are young have no idea what they want to be when they grow up? Except maybe that they wanted to be a movie star, or a fire fighter, or a ballerina? Surprisingly, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember the … Continue reading Bitter Copywriter

You broke my smolder Friday Giftures

  I am in the middle of an epic struggle called it's the hottest time of the year here, and we have no air conditioning. I was used to that in Seattle, because it never got over 55 degrees there, but here it has been between 95 and like 2000 degrees hotter than sun. I … Continue reading You broke my smolder Friday Giftures

Nothing listens to me anymore

You probably think because I type so many words on blog posts 3-5 times a week, that I talk a lot. Nope. I am a bitterman of few words. I choose to keep all my thoughts and ideas bottled up, so I can one day explode. Either that or I write them here, so that … Continue reading Nothing listens to me anymore

No So Real Estate

I've never been a big fan of real estate. Seems like land shouldn't really cost as much as people are pricing it at. What the frick is land anyways? A bunch of dirt and grass and insects who were probably there first and probably paid a lot of money to their insect landlords only to … Continue reading No So Real Estate

The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe

Did you know Spiderman just came out this weekend? The 15th new one since last Spiderman movie. I've heard it is good or whatever and of course I'm going to go see it, because I'm a sucker and sitting in a cool, dark theater doing nothing beats being in a lighted cool workplace any day. … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe

Power out Friday Giftures

Of course we lose power in the middle of the summer.  We have the worst luck in the world (or at least my own world) when it comes to losing power. We used to lose it all the time in Seattle. Any time a tree swayed or a slight wind picked up, you could count … Continue reading Power out Friday Giftures