Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures

  You know those cats that are on those posters that are hanging on a rope and the stupid caption above their head says, "Hold on or something" or "Hang in there, man, you hang in there, you got that McClane?" Well the gifs being presented today are nothing like those motivational moments. These are … Continue reading Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures

Guess who wrote 4 posts on this blog for the first time ever 5 years ago today?

  I don't know. Someone probably. And also me. I am guessing that literally zero people that are reading this blog right now, read the first 4 posts I wrote that day. You know why I know that? Because the day I wrote my first post, only three people read it, and it was people … Continue reading Guess who wrote 4 posts on this blog for the first time ever 5 years ago today?

The Customer Service around here is horrible…

I've spent quite a lot of time in my career in customer service, which as you know is a really bad thing, because I'm horrible at it. People can sense it with me when I'm on the phone with them. They can feel the gritted teeth, the sarcastic tone, and they can see the eye … Continue reading The Customer Service around here is horrible…

That was a close shave…Friday Giftures

  I'm not sure where that expression came from. I have been shaving since I was 14, and I've never had a close shave. I've had shaves that have cut, bruised, bled, caused multiple blood spots, and splotches, but never had one close. And for goodness sakes, I shave all the time and somehow it … Continue reading That was a close shave…Friday Giftures

It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

  That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren't supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy  would rot all their … Continue reading It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

The Bitter Heart Replacement

For years, I've talked about wanting to become less of a person and more of a robot. Why people want to have so many fleshy people parts is beyond me. I don't know about you, but I would really like to have parts of my body that didn't hurt all the time. My shoulders, my … Continue reading The Bitter Heart Replacement

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

As we all hungrily (airs faced squarely in the air) await the Super Bitter Bowl today, to satiate our appetites for the predictably highest rated program of the year, let us look to one of the more interesting rivalries out there. First up is the the "Lambo" as it is affectionately called, has a mysterious … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

  It's hotter than the trendiest nightclub, cooler than the cold weather the groundhog is predicting for the next 6 weeks, fresher than the bagels at Einsteins Bagels this morning, more bitter than unsweetened chocolate, and more hashtagy trending that Twitter and upwardly blue arrowy than Facebook. Iiiiit's Bitter Friday Giftures.... Though the gifs are … Continue reading Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

I was reading a comic the other day about a girl that was struck by lightning and given super powers.  When first given those powers, she decided that she would use them for doing good. She would rescue stray dogs, fight bad guys and punch a hole in injustice. She ended up doing none of … Continue reading If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand

Sometimes having hands is a good thing, because they come in handy (pun very much intended), but most of the time they are burden. When you have them, people expect you to do things with them like help. My mother all growing up would say things like, "You have two hands, you can get them … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand

Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures

  Nope. I know what you are thinking. This has nothing to do with Viley Mirus. I'm talking about those big balls of forged steel that take down brick structures faster than a pig can run all the way home. I have one of those and he can ruin a house faster than a greased … Continue reading Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets

The transportation industry is a 7.4 trillion dollar a year (according to Wikipedia in 2014, a reliable source if I've ever found one) industry with trains, planes, automobiles and duck bus getting us from point A to point B and across maps, and locations safely all day and all night 24 hours a day, 7 … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets

Drive Thru disasters

When we left Seattle, I knew there would be some things I would miss, like my co-workers (because my aim is pretty bad). I also knew there were also some things I would glad to leave in my rear view. The constant rain, the insane amount of green, gray and trees, and the location of … Continue reading Drive Thru disasters

H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo

  I don't like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don't like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn't stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer … Continue reading H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo

Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures

  For bitter's sake it has been a long time. At least in blogging days. It's been an actual week since I've done anything on this sad pathetic blog. I know I've got at least one idea for a post, but I'm not going to break the long standing tradition of doing Friday Giftures, just … Continue reading Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures

Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures

You can't call it a comeback, because I've been here for years. - L.L. Not so Cool J Ben Remember when that song was a thing? Now that I am done with school and haven't received my first $1,000,000 offer to change people's lives for the worse, I've got a whole lot of time on … Continue reading Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures

It is Snow Cold

For those of you who don't know anything about me, I grew up in South Dakota. If you've never heard of it, it is South of North Dakota, which is different than North Carolina. It is located in the middle of the country and has less people in the whole state than most minor cities. … Continue reading It is Snow Cold

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements

I've spent an awful lot of time this semester hearing a lot of social media "buzzwords". There is reach, user generated content, remarketing, content curation, funneling,  conversions, and native advertising. But there is one word I've heard more than any this semester and not really wanting to hear:engagements. It's probably because I go to a … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements