I've never been a huge fan of New Year's. Ever since I was young, until whatever day it was yesterday, I have never really done anything for New Year's. I'm an introvert so I've never really liked to party. I'm a very uninteresting person, so I just like to watch TV, or play video games … Continue reading New Year’s Changes
I was born in Southern California close to a tiny town called Los Angeles and lived there for 6 years during, you know, my formative years. Then we moved to the New York area, an even smaller podunk town called NYC. Luckily, we got out of those lands of opportunity and moved to South … Continue reading Growing Corn Friday Giftures
Here I am stuck at work, again during the holidays. I don't know what it takes to get a gig where you get the entire holiday off scott free (I guess you have to be a teacher or a pint sized human person), but I need to figure that thing out. Maybe the whole not … Continue reading Shiny, Happy People
Instant feedback is kind of a thing now a days. Each of us are now little businesses and personal brands and everything we do and say get instant analytics. We post a picture of our family and we get likes. We listen to a song on Spotify at work and all our friends that follow … Continue reading Boom Roast Extras
I wouldn't say that I'm Harry Potter, but around this time of year, I definitely get hairy. It's not so much that I'm lazy(just kidding I am), it's just that I don't feel like shaving. For some reason my teeth get a little sharper too. Maybe it is all those sugar cookies, that my … Continue reading Howling at the Moon Bitter Friday Giftures
Over the 5 years I've been doing this blog, I've learned nothing. Though, I think it is pretty safe to say that no matter what you say, someone will be offended by what you say. You talk about Father's Day, someone chews you up and spits you out. Talk bad about cats, someone tells you … Continue reading Dome for the holidays
I am really good at starting things. I wrote the first draft of a novel, still in the middle of 2-17 drafts that are required to get published. I started wrapping my wife's gift for Christmas..., oh crap she is here. Hold on a minute.... Okay, that was close. I hid it in the basement … Continue reading 1000 Posts Weak
It is my goal to take over this world of kindness and make it a little more bitter everyday. It’s not easy with all the happy, positive and upbeat people in this world. But it is a battle that I continue to fight, no matter how fruitless it gets. Thankfully, every once in a while, I register on other blogger’s mind and will get a little nibble on other bloggers posts. After a long time, I finally got one and I can’t help but not reblog someone who wrote about me. Whenever bitterness is spread even a little bit, it should be rewarded. So here you go, Cyranny.
I long told myself that I would never, ever be pretentious enough to give new bloggers advices, or worse, be pompous to the point I would feel like I can help established bloggers…
You thought I was about to say that I changed my mind, right? Mouahahahahahaah Nope! I am in no position to tell anybody what to do in order to have a successful blog. I am not even sure what “having a successful blog” means yet.
But I think I know how to have fun blogging, and in that regard, I feel very comfortable giving out some of my tricks. It’s free, and the worst that could happen would be you not having fun too, right? No big risk there.
No doubt you’ll all agree that “likes” are pleasant. But most bloggers will appreciate more feedback, in the form of comments. I don’t comment all the posts I…
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I'm all about that simplicity. And that bass. I know when you are hungry and you just need something quick for your family, time is of the essence. Well, sign up for the Bitter Ben quick meal program and we will find a way to get you some food within the next 8 hours, … Continue reading Quick and Easy Meals for under $1000 Friday Giftures
Music and I go way back. All the way back to the 80's when Micheal J. Fox was busy time machining to our time, and Sting was following Every Breath We Took. One of my earliest memories was when Friday Night Videos came on TV and I saw Micheal Jackson tell me to Beat It. … Continue reading Lazy Musicians
There has been a lot of talk about money in the news lately. At least I think so, because I don't really have the news on TV, so everything I get is from Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia, and Ben's Bitter Blog. I guess BitterCoin is a thing making headlines for all the money it seems … Continue reading Kohl’s Cash is the Devil
I remember when I was a kid and my dad helped me sign up for my first checking account. After doing my favorite thing ever, looking for a job, and going through dozens of job applications, I finally got my dream job of flattening dough at Little Caesar's Pizza. Not only did I get to … Continue reading Loss of Interest
First of all, I am so sad that I wasn’t here to record this. Not only would I have been able to post it to YouTube and become an internet millionaire, but more importantly, I would have been able to cut it up and make it into a gif and put it on my Bitter Friday Giftures. Why do I always miss all the fun accidents on my camera? I have the worst timing! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!
This is also going in my report:
Admit it, you’ve been there. That place where you’ve had a moment of boredom of work and you’ve dealt with it by doing something outside the rules. Nothing necessarily illegal. Not necessarily dishonest conduct. But something a little bit naughty to break up the monotony of the day. Something that will cause someone in a high visibility vest and a clipboard under his arm to say “This is going in my report”.
One time in a factory there were pallet jacks for hauling large loads around the premises. Not one of those new-fangled automated ones that you could walk alongside while holding a button. I’m talking old school. One that had to be pushed manually. From time to time workers were known to make the return trip on an empty trolley if the floor had a gentle slope just like riding a scooter…
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So I have a Jeopardy question for you. Oh, wait they don't do questions. Well too bad. I do things differently around here. So suck, it Trabek. Do you know what the Sunshine State is? If you guessed Florida, you are right. And probably from there. But did you also know that unofficially it is … Continue reading Let’s Play Jeopardy Friday Giftures
Are your kids too busy keeping the peace? Working hard getting along with each other? Are they always doing their best, brushing their teeth, washing their face, complimenting the cook and helping with the dishes? Making good decisions and following directions? Trying to get presents for the holidays? I'm here to tell you that you … Continue reading Get Perfect Brow Beatings in 30 Days
I am always keeping up with most of the new words kids are saying. Don't ask me how, but I used to keep up with the ones when I was a youth by listening to rap music. Now that I'm old though, my daughter bans me from saying anything that is the cool thing to … Continue reading Not Savage, but Average
This is Marissa, one of my long time followers and most frequent commenters. Most of her comments are telling me about how terrible the post was, or how messed up I am, which is true, all true. She slowed down on her blogging as of late so she and family can do like productive stuff or something. She has a family band and is trying really hard to pimp her video, so I decided to give you all a chance to see what her band is all about. Maybe I will check them out sometime too when I’m not too busy not doing work and laying around the couch (and on it). Give her some bitter likes or whatever so her family can continue to rock out and stuff.
Friends! It is a monumental day in CheeseBergens history! Please join us by watching this video premier! Take a moment to indulge in this guilty pleasure and watch myself and my family as we make fools of ourselves! Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you…”Cool”!
If I were declared king for a day, that would be a little weird because I don't think I want to live in the UK, or other places where there was a king, but my first declaration would be that my kingly salary would continue after I was king, then resign, and go off … Continue reading If I were a King for a Day Friday Giftures