I've only ever been published once, and it was in a magazine that sold 12 copies, 13 of which were me buying the copies. Last night I managed to help my son write a poem for his English class, which I totally didn't get any help from ChatGPT. I've published over 1300 blogs post on … Continue reading Contradiction Training BFG’s
Entertainment
Nightmare Ben BFG’s
Ever since we had my first kid, I've been a horrific sleeper. My daughter refused to sleep anywhere near my REM cycle. She had a REM detector that allowed her to find right when I was about to go full REM, and cried right before I was about to down for good. She was good … Continue reading Nightmare Ben BFG’s
Businesses are better than people BFG’s
As some people deduced on Tuesday, it was my birthday. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, the older I get, the less my birthday matters. The excitement I have for my birthday peaked when I turned 30, when I actually looked forward to my birthday. I had already been setting up … Continue reading Businesses are better than people BFG’s
51 Reasons I’m Bitter
Since we just had solar eclipse, it's relevant that I celebrate my 51st rotation around the sun by listing my 51 reasons why you or I should be Bitter. Lists - They are long and tedious and take a lot of time. The only one that doesn't is this one. Nerolinks - Better than hyperlinks, … Continue reading 51 Reasons I’m Bitter
Hitting the Wall BFG’s
I've played video games my whole life. One of my favorite games when I was younger was Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! (I only do that with two exclamation points because that is how it appeared on the cartridge). It was one of those games where at the lower levels it was really fun and almost … Continue reading Hitting the Wall BFG’s
Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
When I was in college, I used to love movies. I would go to at least 3 or 4 a month. They weren't as expensive back then, and I never fell for expensive popcorn or candy trick. I even used to work in a theater, so I got to see free movies (and get free … Continue reading Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
The Flag Department BFG’s
One of the least valuable things I ever did was earn my Eagle Scout in the Boy Scout program. My dad must have secretly been on the propaganda committee that taught kids my age that Scouts would somehow be valuable later in life, because he pushed me hard into the program, even though I hated … Continue reading The Flag Department BFG’s
Solving the National Debt BFG’s
I'm not known as a problem solver. In fact, the only instance there is on the books of me solving problems is when my wife wants to vent. As you know, women don't want you to solve their problems, they just want you to listen. She was trying to tell me that, but I was … Continue reading Solving the National Debt BFG’s
Transfer Portal BFG’s
College football sucks. And yet...it may be my path to fortune, if I play it just right. Remember at the beginning of this post when I said college football sucks? I hope so. It was only two sentences ago. It might sound like bitter grapes, but the reason I think college football sucks, is because … Continue reading Transfer Portal BFG’s
The 2023 Season was a Disaster BFG’s
As a person that loves stories, but is a visual learner, TV has always been the perfect way for me to watch stories unfold. A lot of people love reading because they get to interpret the story, people, places and things in their mind however they want to. The problem is that imagination takes a … Continue reading The 2023 Season was a Disaster BFG’s
The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Hello all. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to doing posts around Christmas, but I'm really good at reposting some classics. So I hope you enjoy. And Bitter Christmas to you all. He is as green as Eggs and Ham. Â He is as green as the Redwood Forest. Â He is as green as the Hulk … Continue reading The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
How the Mighty Has Fallen BFG’s
The American Dream is to become Assistant to the Regional Manager. Purchase the regional manager shirt by clicking the link.* We have this thing in America called the American Dream. It's the hope, belief, or dream that anyone that lives here, no matter how poor, unintelligent or resource deprived can with a little ambition, make … Continue reading How the Mighty Has Fallen BFG’s
Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
I've been simultaneously listening and watching the movie Ready Player One a lot in the last month. A lot of fans of the book hated the movie, because they are wildly different. I was lucky enough to have seen the movie first and the read the book, so the movie didn't taint my feelings of … Continue reading Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
Dad Jokes BFG’s
I've had quite a story arc with my sense of humor. When I was a child, I was fairly serious, and the only thing that was funny about me was my hair. My mom was really bad about taking care of my it, so even when it was a formal occasion, she would somehow forget … Continue reading Dad Jokes BFG’s
Alien Invaders BFG’s
Do you ever wonder where you were when significant things happened in your lifetime? I've lived on this greasy rock for half a century, so a lot of time to wonder. I've had almost no involvement with most of the world's significant world events, but I often wonder what insignificant thing I was doing at … Continue reading Alien Invaders BFG’s
Vamping with Vitterness BFG’s
The Office is my favorite show for a lot of reasons, but my favorite reason is Michael Scott. Even though he is the boss, and I never will be one, I identify with him the most, because we are so alike. Being incompetent is the biggest similarity, but there is also our constant need to … Continue reading Vamping with Vitterness BFG’s
Experience Points BFG’s
When I was 6-8 years old, my family lived in Long Island, NY. Our house had this big backyard with a strip of forested trees that my brothers and I liked to explore. We spent hours in that forest trying to find the shortcut to Narnia. We never found Narnia, but I believe some creatures … Continue reading Experience Points BFG’s
A Phone by any Other Name BFG’s
I remember the first time I texted. It was 2003, and my wife got me one of those tiny Nokia pay-as-you-go, rectangular, gray, tiny-buttoned relics. I had no use for this thing, because I've hated talking to people in general since birth, but more specifically on the phone. She insisted that I get one so … Continue reading A Phone by any Other Name BFG’s
Pilot Light Bitter Friday Giftures
No one ever really thinks too hard about this, (except maybe me) but every year on or around June 21st, in the Northern Hemisphere, we get the highest number of hours of daylight. A lot of people don't think about it, because it's too early in the summer to think about it. Some kids are … Continue reading Pilot Light Bitter Friday Giftures
Chyron’s and Ticker’s and HUD’s BFG’s
There are two different kinds of people in the world. The ones that thrive being around other people, and the ones that thrive being around not people. If left to my own devices (ie computer devices), I could go months before needing human contact. As long as I have a couch, a TV, and some … Continue reading Chyron’s and Ticker’s and HUD’s BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 