Christopher Nolan's Odyssey came out three weeks ago. I haven't seen or even read the Odyssey. I have seen the Simpson's, so I do know a little about the author, Homer Simpson. I know that he is yellow, that he has a wife Marge, and three kids, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie, and in addition to … Continue reading Mythical Creatures BFG’s
Entertainment
Audacity BFG’s
When I tell people all of the places I've lived, they ask why I move so much. I tell them I don't. I usually sit on the couch. I was born in the second biggest city in the U.S., Los Angeles. When I was 5 years old, we moved to the biggest city in the … Continue reading Audacity BFG’s
Black is the New Black BFG’s
"I regret to inform you that you have not been invited to Paris Fashion Week," is a letter I have never received. I assume they send letters to people that are disinvited to Paris Fashion Week. I guess it could be an email. Or it could be like all the jobs I applied for that … Continue reading Black is the New Black BFG’s
The Bar Is Low BFG’s
Back in 7th grade, I was sitting in my Social Studies class, because standing the whole time was exhausting. This really old lady at the front of the class assigned us to decide what we wanted to do for the rest of our lives. Most of the people in the class looked at the assignment, … Continue reading The Bar Is Low BFG’s
Remember The Alamo BFG’s
The best stories are always about the impossible odds and how they are overcome. That's why I'm such a big fan of 5 foot 8 Thomas Cruise Mapother the 4th's who's always running after, or away from enemies in order to save the world in 8 different Mission Impossible movies. The action sequences were great, … Continue reading Remember The Alamo BFG’s
Realtor gift BFG’s
It's the American Dream. Get married, have 2.2 kids, and buy a home with a white picket fence. Of course, not all plans come to fruition. But some do. Let's go back to the beginning. I was born to a couple of parents in a hospital, by a racing track, near a Rose Bowl. I … Continue reading Realtor gift BFG’s
Robot Revolution BFG’s
I've had a much longer and successful career as a Transformers fan than I will ever have in my human working career. My Transformers fandom started on September 17, 1984, when I watched the first episode of Transformer on our tiny 17 inch moving picture box. It changed the way I saw the world. Space … Continue reading Robot Revolution BFG’s
The Hero of Time BFG’s
I grew up in the 80's, the time period of big hair and leather parachute pants. 1986 must have been the pinnacle for me, because The Transformers Movie came out in theaters, and video games were starting to be popular. In just a few months, I went from playing Super Mario Bros. in arcades to … Continue reading The Hero of Time BFG’s
The Biggest Scam on Earth BFG’s
It's college. Yes, I just said that out loud and I absolutely mean it. When I was in my teens, to say something like that would be akin to being a traitor to God, Country and the Boy Scouts of America (which is another scam that I've talked about previously). To be fair, college works … Continue reading The Biggest Scam on Earth BFG’s
Sell Out BFG’s
They say that you start to develop your musical taste separate from your parents tastes around the 3rd grade. I remember exactly when my first musical taste was created. I was in 3rd grade and I saw Michale Jackson on Friday Night Videos and I was hooked. When my family was in Denver for some … Continue reading Sell Out BFG’s
Nickel Pinching BFG’s
For most of December, I was doing what I do best. I took the last two weeks off, and found a way to connect with my body to the couch in a way that we became one. My body of hair, skin and nails became fabric, cotton and some spare coins that were stuck inside … Continue reading Nickel Pinching BFG’s
Wi-Fi Reunion BFG’s
I know you all noticed that I was gone last Friday, because your entire Friday revolves around my Bitter Friday post. I know you all study it, dissect it, let it rattle around in your brain and try to process the meaning of the universe each time you read the Friday post. I get that … Continue reading Wi-Fi Reunion BFG’s
Doom Scrolling BFG’s
Some people insist on using their mouth holes all the time, because they think talking is the only form of miscommunication. I happen to think that speaking out loud is the lowest common denominator, IE the easiest form of miscommunication. Since I've never been a big follower of trends, I prefer to communicate in a … Continue reading Doom Scrolling BFG’s
Lost the Plot BFG’s
There are reasons why I hated growing up in the 80's (yes, I grew up in the 1900's kids). The clothing was hideous, the internet didn't exist, and the hairstyles inspired my hair to fall out. There was one good thing that I loved about the 80's. The movies. Back To the Future, Ferris Bueller, … Continue reading Lost the Plot BFG’s
Extra Beef and Cheese BFG’s
Last night, I got home from a brutal doctor's appointment, so I wanted to eat away some of my pain. I ended up getting a burger with extra beef, bacon and cheese. ClearIy, I was in the mood for some beef and cheese, because this week, I've been observing beefs all over the place that … Continue reading Extra Beef and Cheese BFG’s
PokéBen Evolution BFG’s
Last week I talked about my horrible luck in finding jobs, because of my horrible resume, bad interviewing skills and hard to be around personality. Unfortunately, this lead to me desperately taking some awful jobs just so I could afford to surround myself with four walls and a place to put my pillowhead and food … Continue reading PokéBen Evolution BFG’s
Head Resume Bitterness BFG’s
My revulsion for job applications dates all the way back to the early 70's, IE the early days of me. I realized my parents didn't love me when I applied to be my parent's least favorite child and they roundly rejected my application. They used a sophisticated rejection software called crumpling up the paper and … Continue reading Head Resume Bitterness BFG’s
Inspiration Lightning BFG’s
People are always asking me where I get so many great ideas for this blog. You'd think that after 12 years and 1,578 Bitter Blog posts (1579 once this is published), I would run out of good ideas. First, let's be clear that not all my posts are home runs, or even triples. Most of … Continue reading Inspiration Lightning BFG’s
Into the Void BFG’s
I'm really good at predicting the future. For instance, I knew by the year 2000, I would be married, have two kids, a boy and a girl and that my son would be fiscally responsible, and he would appreciate us so much for adopting him, that he would always listen to what we had to … Continue reading Into the Void BFG’s
Dependence Day BTG’s
Hey Bitter Gang! (I realized that I haven't named my followers with a clever moniker yet)! Like most American's, I've decided to take tomorrow, which is a Friday, off of work. It's not because I want to, because Friday's are typically the best day of work, because I usually spend the first few hours writing … Continue reading Dependence Day BTG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 