The Bitter 700 Club and Friday Giftures


As you know (just kidding, you have no idea) I just hit 700 posts of pure bitterness. I haven’t checked with the Guinness Book of World Records (or is it a Guinness E-Book of World Records only available on Amazon Kindle. I don’t know), but I’m pretty sure it is the record of something. Maybe it is just a website? On another note, um who cares? Anyways, it’s probably a record amount of posts dedicated to pure bitterness. Though to be fair, I probably got the record around 7 posts, so I’m just adding to the record everytime I post something. Regardless, you are probably glossing over this whole part to get to the gifs and I don’t blame you. I can’t wait till this stupid intro is over too. Uggh, can I just introduce this thing already? Um, blah, blah, blah, many giftures. Be bitter or something.

Speaking of just getting to it…

...can we just hurry up and seal the deal?

…can we just hurry up and seal the deal?

And if you don’t like it…


…owl just get over it. 

If you don’t feel like working…


…just duck out a little early. 

Or hang out with your friends…


…and drive them up the wall.

Maybe go outside and…


…play some catch(just kidding I don’t go outside).

Maybe go to the local underground…


…and join the Fight Club, which I will seriously tell everyone about . 

Don’t forget to…


…take out the papers and the trash…

Or you won’t…

...have any spending cash.

…get no spending cash.

Make sure you put all your eggs in one basket…

...or you won't get the prize.

…cause it is Easter and you have to keep your eyes on the prize.




…I kind of nailed that one on the head.

High fives on that one everyone right…


…no?..low fives..anyone…uggghhh…

That’s it…

...I'm throwing in the towel...

…I’m throwing in the towel.

And that is all you get for our weekly mess ups. I see the end of lent is coming so you can all get back to your vices, eat some way too sugary candy and chocolate, blame the Easter Bunny for making a mess all over your yard and house and get back to being super bitter on Monday as per usual. I’m out like a Santa Clause on Easter (or some confusing mixed metaphor like that.)


Bitter 700 really bad tries Ben


41 thoughts on “The Bitter 700 Club and Friday Giftures

  1. My head is spinning… 700??!! Good god, I was patting myself on the back for making it to 25! You have exponentially outdone me, and then some. Oh look, I got to finally USE something from math class! That is a WHOLE LOT of BITTERNESS, Ben, and you should be proud.


  2. Ben, that is quite an accomplishment, but the record is 701. I’m afraid this appears to be a premature (albeit bitter) celebration. On the other hand, that news must be a bitter moment for you, to be sure. So congratulations on your (almost) record post! 😀


  3. No, I actually knew it was your 700th blog because I’ve been counting and then I went back and counted all your blogs that you ever posted and then when I got confused I counted them again so why are you even telling me?

    Liked by 1 person

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