Remember when your teachers lied to you about needing math because you would need it in your career someday? And how you laugh at your teacher now, because not only do you have a calculator on your phone, computer and Ipad, but you have Excel at work to help you figure out any possible mathematical … Continue reading Rewriting History BFG’s
Month: December 2022
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I like to avoid people as much as possible, I started watching YouTube videos on my headphones at work, so I could zone people out. One of the Youtubers I started watching was Casey Neistat. Some people might know him for a few viral videos he made, but he was mostly popular because he … Continue reading Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Expressions are meant to sound catchy and easy to remember, and as a means for uncreative people to fill up their Instagram feeds. A long time ago, I thought quotes were motivational. This was back when I was a single celled organism, and I had no idea how to be creative. But as soon as … Continue reading Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
If I was Marty McFly and had access to the Delorean and could move forward to the year 2022, I certainly would not. As we learned in March 2020, nothing good has ever come past that date. In 2019, we had just passed the Golden Age of movies, and life itself. Avengers End Game was … Continue reading Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
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