I have killed, crushed and mamed 1000's of people in my career. And I'm not talking about their motivations. I've only done that to a few people. I've only done that because I only really talk to the few people that I need to everyday. A boss or two, co-workers that need to stop making … Continue reading Bitter Guns
Month: January 2018
Standing Desk Only
Let's play a little Jeopardy, which I never do, because you have to think. TV is not meant to make you think. It should entertain you, distract you, give you some background when you are playing games on your phone, but it should never make you think. That's why Jeopardy is for old people that … Continue reading Standing Desk Only
Hungry Like a Wolfgang Friday Giftures
I'm always hungry, especially when I'm not hungry. I love eating well past when I am completely full. I always get so mad when I have to go to sleep because that means I have to go like 5 hours without eating. Who has time for sleep when you are trying to eat all … Continue reading Hungry Like a Wolfgang Friday Giftures
Delicious Moments
Hopefully, you all watch The Office, because that is the language I speak in. Everything in life relates to couches, pizza, and The Office. Since I assume you all watch it and know every episode by heart, I'm just going to go straight into it. Remember the episode of the Office when Andy finally takes … Continue reading Delicious Moments
St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
We are all made up of a lot of different little parts of personality; well most of you are. I have been blessed with this bitter personality since I came out of my mother. Actually, probably before that. I was complaining about the tight quarters, the lack of pizza being fed through the veins and … Continue reading St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
10,000 Bitter Followers
They say that you need to do something for 10,000 hours in order to be an expert at something. So if I have eaten a 100 grand candy bar 10,000 times does that make me an ultra expert at eating candy bars with chocolate or does that just make me a heart attack victim. Just … Continue reading 10,000 Bitter Followers
Barely Therely Bitter Friday Giftures
I guess a few of you attempted to help out last week with the giftures and for that you will all be handsomely punished! Come on people, you gotta do bitter than that! I expect a lot more heavy lifting from you all around here and you miserably and bitterly failed. How can all … Continue reading Barely Therely Bitter Friday Giftures
Cars are judgy
I spend a lot of time judging people. It's okay though, because I'm old and I've seen a lot of bitter things happen, so I'm qualified to be able to do it. Besides, people judge me all the time, so it's totally okay. Also I keep all my judgements to myself. Oh wait except for … Continue reading Cars are judgy
Remix Specialist
Anyone here a fan of Taco Bell? I used to be, back in the 90's when I was a college student and lived in a town that had no Taco Bell. My friends and I would find someone with a car and excitedly go to another town 30 miles away so we could experience medium … Continue reading Remix Specialist
American Idle
I used to love American Idol. And by love it, I mean mocking all the hundreds of people that watched it. I guess you could say I was the hipster of American Idol because I liked it before it was cool. Not American Idol per say, but this show on WB that came before Idol … Continue reading American Idle
Taylor Made Bitter Friday Giftures
Alright, my laziness has reached an all time low. Or high? I can't decide which one is right. Anyways, as I said last week, it seems like I do all the work around here, with the writing and with the graphic design, ur, stealing gifs from other places, and then you guys also make … Continue reading Taylor Made Bitter Friday Giftures
Directionally Challenged
I used to be a huge fan of Home Improvement. Not my own home, not even close. Like I've ever lifted a finger to improve anything. Nope, just a fan of Tim the Tool man who revolutionized the whole "really good at fixing things" but accident prone enough to make it funny. I loved all … Continue reading Directionally Challenged
Bitter Food
I have had a long standing relationship with food. Ever since I was a baby I required it. I'm not really sure what it has ever done for me, but for some reason I keep eating it. It is this weird thing like how humans need trees and trees need humans. I'm not sure I … Continue reading Bitter Food
Thief of Joy
I take a lot away from people around me. That includes all those people that read this blog, who are few. I would like to say that I'm kind of the Midas of Bitterness. Everything I touch turns to bitterness. So, of course, that happens to everyone I meet or talk to. In the same … Continue reading Thief of Joy
I have discipline – I can not Binge watch Netflix
Some people think they have discipline because they can make run 26.something miles and not die. Some people have discipline because they can make it through a whole work week and not complain about it. Others think they have willpower because they can not eat meat, or gluten. I guess I don't have willpower then. … Continue reading I have discipline – I can not Binge watch Netflix
Sherman Tank Bitter Friday Giftures
We have been working on getting into a house for a little while, because you know, it's nice to live in a place where you get to control the heat and the TV and can send the kids into the backyard or their room so they can leave you alone. Anyways, we decided to … Continue reading Sherman Tank Bitter Friday Giftures
A-cord-ing to who?
For Christmas, I got pretty much everything I wanted except a new computer, a new TV, a new phone, a vacation to Hawaii, a cruise to Alaska, a new car, and a new house. Seems like people are pretty insensitive to others needs this time of year. Season of giving my butt. They say to … Continue reading A-cord-ing to who?
Ben's Bitter Blog 