Taking you all to School Friday Giftures

This is the kind of week I dream about.  I was off this whole week so I could watch the kids, so my wife could go on a trip.  This was my chance to be lazy.  The chance for me to lay on the couch, watch TV and do not much.  Well, that’s all it turned out to be.  Apparently, even though I didn’t have work, the kids still had school.  So I ended up not so much sitting around, but driving a lot.  There was like 8 trips to the airport, a couple of trips to the grocery store, and way too many trips to the school.  And the learning.  Why do they teach kids so many things these days? Next time you turn around they are going to want college students to know basic multiplication.  All I know was I was like a bus driver, because I took all the kids to school.  After all the learning I had to endure, I’m going to let you all in on all the knowledge I gained this week. Get ready to be schooled in Bitter Friday Giftures.

Here’s a little book you can read…

Here's a little

…It’s about a Cat in the Hat and he likes to strike back.

In Chemistry you will learn that…


…water and fire combine to make fire.  I mean fire is made up of heat and vinegar, never mind.  Explosions.

In engineering…


…we learned that in order to fly you don’t have to leave the ground.  Helpful to couchdwellers like myself.

In meteorology we learned…

in weather

…that a tiny little spoon can cause all kinds of weather related disasters. 

In home ec, we learn the secret way…


i…to put a baby to sleep. 

In gym class, I could try to tell you that the goalie…


…is a cat, but I’d be fe lying to you.   

In the ninja arts, we see the ultimate finisher…


…sword of. 

In zoology class, we learned how to take care of animals…


…actually I’m lion.

In other veterinarian instruction…


…Kriss Kross doesn’t always make you jump. 

We teach you how to handle a fish…


…but you have to be willing to take a shot first. 


In the end, we will teach you how never to give up…



…and how stupid it is to believe that. 

In the end…

...just try to stay awake...or don't.

…just try to stay awake…or don’t.

It’s Friday.  What are we doing in class again? Can that stupid bell just ring, so we can go home and hit the couch and eat some pizza and fall asleep watching pizza? For goodness sake.


Bitter School Friday Giftures Ben

38 thoughts on “Taking you all to School Friday Giftures

  1. Pingback: Taking you all to School Friday Giftures | Open Eyes = Opens Minds = Opportunity

  2. Got a new “bitter” for you Ben – you should do up something about lost internet help! I am in pinterest and was doing some garden research and the last 5 links I clicked on for “helpful information” all led to a popup box that insisted I “sign up” before giving me an answer? I grew up thinking the net was a place to get the answers. Sorry, but i’m not a “Bitter-er” (hee hee just love saying the word), but this one ticked me off. Especially when one led to a bogus page.- Just a thought you write this kind of stuff so well?!?


    • I always appreciate bitter topics. I’ll definitely put that one in the cues. The internet is kind of the worst. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have a blog to run on it, I would have to say it is pretty useless sometimes.


  3. Oh gosh, and I thought it was supposed to get easier once they transitioned from toddler to school age. Ack!!

    These really cracked me up. For some reason, I can’t stop laughing at that last one. That dog was just not having anyone else fall asleep on his/her couch 😀


  4. When I was in middle school my grades weren’t so great. I told my parents I didn’t have time for homework because I was busy working on my social life. That didn’t go over too well. Fast forward to college: I had so many exams my mother frequently asked me when I had time to learn anything with all the testing going on.


  5. Seriously, getting a child ready for and to school and then trying to assist with homework that seems like some sort of mensa test after school – I hope you learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes the grocery store is better than the couch at home. (But only sometimes.) I hope your wife enjoyed her trip – because that’s what it’s really all about. 🙂 HAPPY FRIDAY the 13TH!


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