In the beginning, I liked Superhero movies. The whole appeal was imagining what I could do with superpowers. For instance, what would I do with super strength, super speed, or the ability to fly? Of course, if I had them, I wouldn't use them to save people, nor would I use them for evil. That … Continue reading Energy Monster BFG’s
Heads Up BFG’s
Like, the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, I've always been looking for my brain. It's there, I know, but it always seems to betray in my moment of need. Sure, it keeps me alive, is the central hub for figuring out how to walk, talk, breathe and how to write scorchingly funny, yet deeply … Continue reading Heads Up BFG’s
Framing BFG’s
Since I like having 4 walls and a roof above my head, I've had to work for a living most of my life. Much like many of you, I haven't worked the same job my whole life, so I've had a variety of jobs. One summer I worked a construction job, and another time I … Continue reading Framing BFG’s
Doc Awkward BFG
I spent my Christmas vacation like I spend all my time. Being disappointed. Disappointed that I couldn't find any awesome gifts to give myself. Disappointed that my family wanted to be around me, despite the fact that I'm no fun to be around. But the biggest disappointment was that I wasn't able to watch more … Continue reading Doc Awkward BFG
The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Hello all. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to doing posts around Christmas, but I'm really good at reposting some classics. So I hope you enjoy. And Bitter Christmas to you all. He is as green as Eggs and Ham. He is as green as the Redwood Forest. He is as green as the Hulk … Continue reading The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Growing up in California, one of my earliest memories was when I was 5. My mom made me and my brother some capes made out of felt and a little buckle to fasten around our necks. I, of course, was Superman, because he could fly and my brother was Batman, because he liked brooding in … Continue reading Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
The reason why Community is my second favorite show, is 1: because of the writing, but two because it reminds of me of my juvenile college years (though some would say I'm still in my juvenile years). They are always up to some crazy highjinks, like paintball or playing a video games to earn inheritances. … Continue reading Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
Hyperbiology BFG’s
I have this problem. I have this habit of saving the world...all the time. I don't mean to. It's just that the world of Hyrule needed saving (Legend of Zelda). I keep saving people too. But you know, if my son just did his homework, I wouldn't have to keep saving him from his mom. … Continue reading Hyperbiology BFG’s
Black Friday BFG’s
Most people think of Thanksgiving as a day for gratitude. Gratitude for family, for a place to live or gas that doesn't cost an arm, leg, shoulder or a kneecap. You think the turkey got carved up yesterday? Not as much as I did just trying to drive four hours to my parent's house. And … Continue reading Black Friday BFG’s
How to Appear Smart BFG
A little side note before we start. Yes, I'm the first person to do a side note at the beginning of a post. Excuuuse me. I'm extremely sorry about this. I've been typing Bitter Friday Giftures at the end of my titles for every Friday Giftures for 9 years now. No longer. It's simply going … Continue reading How to Appear Smart BFG
Abandastanded Bitter Friday Giftures
Last night I was playing my favorite video game, Gears of War. While many look at it as just another shooter, the ones who really know, the theme is Brothers (and sisters) to the End. Meaning you grow to love the squadmates you fight with and you never leave them behind. I often play with … Continue reading Abandastanded Bitter Friday Giftures
Crack Addiction Bitter Friday Giftures
As this stupid pandemic slowly dies like my dreams of making the NBA, I think it is time to start examining some of the really harmful side effects. Yeah, there is the debilitating lonliness (that I will never have) and the depression thing, and the publicaphobia thing that some people have as well. But for … Continue reading Crack Addiction Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Tomatoes Friday Giftures
Last night I was on Tik Tok, which of course is where I get all my information and inspiration. I saw a Tik Tok yesterday that caught my attention. If you go on Tik Tok a lot like I do, you probably notice a lot of "couples comedy". A lot of them do pranks, which … Continue reading Bitter Tomatoes Friday Giftures
Free Speech Bitter Friday Giftures
Some people would say that I'm a bit of a hermit. Others would call me offputting, and still others would say that I can't stand other people, other people's kids, kids or humans. Some people would even say that I wear headphones almost all the time in order to avoid talking to people. To those … Continue reading Free Speech Bitter Friday Giftures
Epic Music Bitterness
I can count on my fingers and maybe one set of my toes the amount of extraordinary days I've had in my life. And even those extraordinary days had a lot of ordinaryness. My wedding day was pretty epic, but there were moments in the day where I was just taking a shower, or twiddling … Continue reading Epic Music Bitterness
Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Most of my workday is spent in a chair typing stuff on a computer. In the broad scope of things, it will end up being the most significant thing that someone has ever done for this world and for that, you should all be thanking me. The world would be a pretty cold, cruel place … Continue reading Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Star Girl’s Bitter Twist Ending
I've always been a bit of a contradictionist. When people liked Nike's, I wore Reeboks (maybe that was because my parents didn't want to pay for Nike's). I liked the San Antonio Spurs when everyone else in my area liked the Utah Jazz. My favorite contradiction of all is the getting up early, staying up … Continue reading Star Girl’s Bitter Twist Ending
Bitter Sisyphean Weekend Friday Giftures
As you know, my fitness program is less about walking or moving and more about "fitness whole pizza in mouth" kind of program. If moving around and getting fit was my default mode instead of resting for 8 hours at night, then I might like it. Unfortunately, I think my son has followed in my … Continue reading Bitter Sisyphean Weekend Friday Giftures
The Upside Downiverse Bitter Friday Giftures
As the calendar flips to October, Halloweenites can finally breathe easy with knowledge that they can finally come out of the closet...with their decorations, costumes, candy and fake graveyards. I used to work with a guy that loved Halloween so much, that he said he started working on his costume for Halloween on November 1st. … Continue reading The Upside Downiverse Bitter Friday Giftures
Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures
Remember when I talked about us living in a simulation a little while ago? Probably not, because you don't really think about my posts after you read them. Living in a simulation doesn't really make sense right? But then you watched the Matrix and you started to believe. One of the ways the Matrix taught … Continue reading Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 