My son is 11 and he already makes me think that he will work for the United Nations someday. He is always negotiating high powered contracts and he is relentless. For instance, we recently lost Xbox Live Gold, which allows you to play games with your friend over Xbox. I decided that as much … Continue reading Can I play your phone Bitter Friday Giftures
You should probably expect all my writing these days to focus on the bitterness of job hunting and how horrible it is, since it is taking all my focus. So whether I say it straight out or not, everything I am bitter about is either that or a metaphor for that. A few weeks ago, … Continue reading Down into the Sink Hole
There are a lot of myths out there. Dementors, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster. I think people love myths because they love the mythtery of the unknown. There are a lot of unexplained things in this world, like Madea. The most recent myth that I have found is the Oreo's ALL THE STUFF … Continue reading Where is the ALL THE STUFF OREO’S Bitter Friday Giftures
I recently told you about when I was in 7th grade and we did a career day in school. I decided to go into advertising because it seemed glorious and fun and I wasn't good at art, and was terrible at math. The other reason I decided on Advertising was because it started in the … Continue reading Job Hunting Vs. Dating
I'm usually pretty terrible at remembering anniversaries, which is why I decided to get married in 2000, so I would always know how many years I've been married. It has been pretty foolproof, and the end of summer date is also good, so we can always go on a chill date, while we make fun … Continue reading Seven Years Bitter Luck
In the background, I'm listening to the New Kids on the Block doing their best to make a comeback. I don't deny old people trying to make a comeback as I'm attempting to do right now, but at least they need to rebrand and call themselves Older Dudes on the Clock or something. One … Continue reading New Kids on the Block Bitter Friday Giftures
I was reading this article about a guy that works for Nintendo. He is the creator of Super Smash Bros., one of Nintendo's most popular games. I don't know if it mentioned how old he was, but this guy has an insane passion for working on this game. Basically it has been his life's work … Continue reading Bitter Vacation Absence
They say you have to build a bitter mousetrap in order to catch mice. Well, in our last home it didn't seem to work, because they just kept coming back. Sometimes, I think you just need to build more mousetraps. I guess they were just attracted to our food or something. It's not like … Continue reading Building a Bitter Mousetrap Friday Giftures
When we moved into this house about a year ago, we had to furnish it. Of course, we got the most important things first, the couch, TV, and fridge, which I have spent the most amount of time using. I guess we also got a table, our old furniture, and bed, but those weren't really … Continue reading Bitter Business Bureau
Security is kind of a big deal in a lot of ways. It has been a big buzzword in our country in the last few years. While I don't comment on politics because they boring and I don't know much about them, but I think I have enough bitterness in other areas to not have … Continue reading Insecurity Bitterness
It is time again to hear about all the news that wasn't relevant to people at all. That's right. Time to put on your non-thinking caps and just listen to some of the most irrelevant news you can possibly think of. If you are a glutton for punishment, feel free to follow this ongoing … Continue reading Bitter News From the Couch #9
I don't know about all of you, but February is both way too short and way too long. When watching the news all I keep hearing about is how much snow and bad weather everyone is getting (despite the fact that the Groundhog said winter was over) and terrible news about the government. I … Continue reading Marching into Bitter Friday Giftures
I've got a lot of dreams in my life. Becoming a YouTube star. Becoming a professional video gamer. Winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes $5000 a week for life winner. Getting the most comfortable couch ever and laying in it for extended periods of time. Getting a pizza oven in my house. Learning how to make … Continue reading Sponsored Dreams
Some people probably think that I am a robot programmed for the one-dimensional purpose of being bitter. Part of that is true. I am a robot. And I am programmed for bitterness. But, there are actually many different subtle dimensions to my bitterness. I am programmed to behave differently in the traffic environment than … Continue reading Bitter Mode
I was talking to my wife the other day and I was comparing the days of the week to the months of the year. For the most part, it makes sense. January is definitely like Monday. Everyone is hungover from the holidays and the bitterness of family and togetherness and rage of the weekend … Continue reading BitterTine’s Day Bitter Friday Giftures
This is probably some really shocking news, but when I was growing up, pizza wasn't my favorite food. Probably because my parents didn't expose me much to pizza. Also, I was always hungry, and back then, Hot Pockets didn't exist and pizza wasn't exactly an easy thing to whip up when you are dying … Continue reading Today’s Story on Giphy
Yes, it is Sunday afternoon and you have nothing else to do. TV is getting old and you are tired of the kids. Escape to the computer room so you can watch the news. But not the same, boring, dull stuff that you keep seeing on your computer screen, but the entertaining, yet bitter news … Continue reading Bitter News from the Couch #8
Most of the time the only reason I follow the news is when I do research for my Bitter News from the Couch. And I only follow the stories that make sense to make fun of. When I woke up this morning, my wife told me about a story I absolutely needed to write … Continue reading Nine Lives Bitter Friday Giftures
As you saw from my lazy post yesterday, I fancy myself as an amateur filmmaker. I admit I'm a horrible actor, for many reasons. Let's take a moment to list those reasons. 1. I have a monotone voice. 2. I have a face for blogging. 3. I can't memorize a single line. 4. I have … Continue reading Mighty Morphin Bitter Rangers
I don't feel like writing today, because snow is outside and I just can't possibly be expected to write anything. The east coast got their turn last week, so it is the west coast's turn to be lazy this week. So here is my post. It is my Bitter News from the Couch, Volume 7. … Continue reading Lazy Day Bitterness
