Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures

One time when I was in college, I was so distraught by a girl breaking up with me, that I slept in until 4 pm. It was the oddest sensation I'd ever felt. When I woke up, I went to the campus bookstore, and it was already closed for the day. People had already woken … Continue reading Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures

Life Isn’t About a Box Of Chocolates Bitterness

The first time I watched Forrest Gump, I didn't make it all the way through. I was on a date with a girl, and I could tell she was getting a little uncomfortable. I asked her if she wanted to leave, and she said she did. So we walked out and continued our date elsewhere. … Continue reading Life Isn’t About a Box Of Chocolates Bitterness

Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures

Categorical Failure Bitterness

Back in high school, I was assigned to do a group presentation about something boring to our class. It was a bunch of really boring facts, where most of the groups just stood up, and presented the facts the same old way. I didn't like boring, so I asked everyone in the group if we … Continue reading Categorical Failure Bitterness

Talent Show Bitterness

When I was younger and family reunions were still a thing, we used to go to exotic locations like California, Arizona, or Utah to visit old people. Every time, I would get comments like, "My, how you've grown," or "Why does he always have a scowl on his face?" Then really ancient relatives wouldn't show … Continue reading Talent Show Bitterness

Bitter Writer’s Strike

When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike

Space Invaders BFG’s

Space Invaders was one of the first video games I played growing up. If you've never played it, it was a super basic alien invasion game. A bunch of pixelated aliens (about 55 of them) march across and down the screen shooting lasers at your little square battleship. If they destroyed your battleship, or made … Continue reading Space Invaders BFG’s

John Wick Training BFG’s

Last night it was all about the speed. Not the drug that makes you hyper, weirdos. Not Lightning McQueen either. I'm talking about Speed, the cool movie with Keanu Reeves. The one that launched Sandra Bullock's career. If you think Sandra Bullock's career is impressive, then take her career, multiply it by a cool factor … Continue reading John Wick Training BFG’s

Reduced to Atoms BFG’s

If you are a fan of NBA basketball, you just saw the Sacramento Kings break a playoff drought of 17 years. If you want to feel old, that was 2006. To me, that seems like just yesterday, but to my daughter, that was a time she doesn't remember, because she was only 1. And my … Continue reading Reduced to Atoms BFG’s

Senior Recruiting Bitterness

The other day, someone mentioned to me that I don't look a day over 50. I found that rude, because I'm three days over 50 now. If I was a more violent person, I would've taken him to the closest wrestling ring and wrang his neck, but my son is stronger than me now. I … Continue reading Senior Recruiting Bitterness

50 Reasons to Be Bitter

Since I'm 50 years bitter today, I'm supposed to be having my mid-life crisis, but since we all know that I'm not making it to 100, that means I'm well past my mid-life crisis and should have had it a while ago. But since nobody really tells you when this life is over, it's not … Continue reading 50 Reasons to Be Bitter

Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s

The weather people in Utah spent all last summer moaning and complaining about the apocalyptical drought we were going through. They warned us to stop watering our lawns and demanded that we stop drinking unless we were on drop from dying of dehydration. We were assured if we brushed our teeth and let the water … Continue reading Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s

The Bitter Corruption Industry

Ten years ago, I was living in Seattle at the peak of my misery. If you've lived in Seattle, you know there is only two seasons. One lasts 11 and a half months and it's cloudy, cold, rainy, wet and windy. The other two weeks, the sun vacationed in Seattle, but it was only for … Continue reading The Bitter Corruption Industry

Electric Blue Bitterness

I've spent most of my life trying to spread bitterness like most people spread frozen butterness on their toast. Just like the spreaders of butter on toast, it's hard work and it rarely works out how I want it to. After spreading bitterness for almost 50 years, I finally decided to make the world better … Continue reading Electric Blue Bitterness

Forward Thinking BFG’s

I've been running this Bitter Blog Empire for 11 years now, thus making me an expert in running blog empires, according to Malcom Gladwell. To prove it, I've written 1446 posts, each which average over 500 words per post. That is 723,000 words that I've created mostly from brain. A few monkeys pounded some words … Continue reading Forward Thinking BFG’s

Phantom Zone Bitterness

I don't know if you've noticed, but when it comes to the DC Universe, there are two Co-Alpha Dogs. The two of them are so strikingly different, that they would be on par with how different my two kids are. You know the two I'm talking about. Superman and Batman. Before all the epic DC … Continue reading Phantom Zone Bitterness