Giving up things for Lent…

How was all of your Fat Tuesdays? I'm not Catholic and I don't go to Mardi Grass, but I've heard that you are supposed to give up things for Lent. Yes, this sounds like a fabulous idea. I have lots of things to give up. In fact, I have a whole garageful. I would really … Continue reading Giving up things for Lent…

It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

  That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren't supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy  would rot all their … Continue reading It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

For the first time in 15 years, I won't be working the day after President's Day. This is a good thing, because it used to be the worst day at my old job. It was always a double duty day, because most of the dealer's we worked with didn't get President's Day off, so we … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures

As we embark on the NBA All-Star weekend, we celebrate what the NBA is most famous for. Not the slam dunk or the 3 point shot, or the monster block, but the trash talk. It isn't good enough to dunk on someone, you have to then deliver a well placed insult to the opponent you … Continue reading Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures

The Bitter Heart Replacement

For years, I've talked about wanting to become less of a person and more of a robot. Why people want to have so many fleshy people parts is beyond me. I don't know about you, but I would really like to have parts of my body that didn't hurt all the time. My shoulders, my … Continue reading The Bitter Heart Replacement

Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures

  Seeing that the ratings on this show have been dipping for a while, I thought we would try something a little different to get the ratings up. Actually, we are going to do pretty much what other shows do when their ratings are dipping. We are going to do a live blog. So starting … Continue reading Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures

My Bitter I.O.W.A. experience

I grew up in South Dakota. As the butt of almost all jokes from other states except from our Northern brethren, North Dakota, it was hard to defend South Dakota. Most states were either bigger, faster, stronger or more famous than us.  At least I was from the biggest town in South Dakota, which was … Continue reading My Bitter I.O.W.A. experience

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

As we all hungrily (airs faced squarely in the air) await the Super Bitter Bowl today, to satiate our appetites for the predictably highest rated program of the year, let us look to one of the more interesting rivalries out there. First up is the the "Lambo" as it is affectionately called, has a mysterious … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

  It's hotter than the trendiest nightclub, cooler than the cold weather the groundhog is predicting for the next 6 weeks, fresher than the bagels at Einsteins Bagels this morning, more bitter than unsweetened chocolate, and more hashtagy trending that Twitter and upwardly blue arrowy than Facebook. Iiiiit's Bitter Friday Giftures.... Though the gifs are … Continue reading Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

I was reading a comic the other day about a girl that was struck by lightning and given super powers.  When first given those powers, she decided that she would use them for doing good. She would rescue stray dogs, fight bad guys and punch a hole in injustice. She ended up doing none of … Continue reading If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures

  There has been a lot of sledding going on around here, what with there being snow on all surfaces lately. I've heard that some people actually get to sled downhill, which sounds super easy and fun. I wish I knew how that worked, because everywhere I've ever sledded has been an uphill both ways … Continue reading Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures

Me and Walter Elias Disney actually have something in common

  As you may not know, or care, I am in the bitter throes of anguish as I recently completed my short bit of schooling and am now searching for a job. Just so you know, in case you've never had this trouble, the only thing worse than having a job, is not having a … Continue reading Me and Walter Elias Disney actually have something in common

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand

Sometimes having hands is a good thing, because they come in handy (pun very much intended), but most of the time they are burden. When you have them, people expect you to do things with them like help. My mother all growing up would say things like, "You have two hands, you can get them … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand

Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures

  Nope. I know what you are thinking. This has nothing to do with Viley Mirus. I'm talking about those big balls of forged steel that take down brick structures faster than a pig can run all the way home. I have one of those and he can ruin a house faster than a greased … Continue reading Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets

The transportation industry is a 7.4 trillion dollar a year (according to Wikipedia in 2014, a reliable source if I've ever found one) industry with trains, planes, automobiles and duck bus getting us from point A to point B and across maps, and locations safely all day and all night 24 hours a day, 7 … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets

Drive Thru disasters

When we left Seattle, I knew there would be some things I would miss, like my co-workers (because my aim is pretty bad). I also knew there were also some things I would glad to leave in my rear view. The constant rain, the insane amount of green, gray and trees, and the location of … Continue reading Drive Thru disasters

H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo

  I don't like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don't like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn't stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer … Continue reading H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo