The Bitter Library of Giftures

 

This is no ordinary library, where I’m sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help. This isn’t a place where you whisper in your screaming voice to all your neighbors about what you are reading.  This is the Bitter Library of Giftures. We are similar to other libraries in that we have books that teach, enlighten, and entertain, and bitterize, but we expand on those things to give you a much more well rounded bitter experience.  Come get your library card and get ready for some magical bitterness.   After you’re done, make sure to put your giftures back on the shelf where they belong or I will have the pages come by and beat you with a ruler. Just remember, a gifture is worth 10,000 words.

Before we get started I need to shush some troublemaking  celebs…

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…they are all sensibly chuckling in the magazine section.

In our British section you can check out a book on Wales…

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….or almost get nailed by one.

Similarly, in our Harry Potter Section, you can check out the books…

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…or catch some live Quidditch practice.

In our sports section you might find a book on gymnastics…

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…or see some artistic feats being performed live.

Find a book about how to build stairs…

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…or experience falling down them on your own. 

If you need to learn more about the fall, find a book with a lot of leaves…

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…or learn about fall in a whole new way with leaves nearby.

Find a book about the Pyramids of Giza…

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…or find out how to build and destroy a pyramid on your own.

Check out a book on the Wright Bros. and the joy of flight…

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…or experience the bitterness of getting grounded.

Check out a book on How to Fix cars…

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…or experience for yourself getting “stuck” in traffic.

Go check out a book on animal training…

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…or teach them how to do tricks on their own. 

All the books in the library are free to check out…

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…but the vending machines are not.

So get here however you can..

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…whether by bus…or car…

Or even…

...by golf cart.

…by golf cart.

Just make sure you bring your library card and get ready to learn how to be bitter. Make sure you have a bitter weekend.

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Library Of Giftures Ben

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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