I was left in charge of looking after the kids for several hours, so the first thing I did was take a nap for a few hours. That way I could keep an even sharper eye on them when I woke up. When I did wake up, I made sure that I got some fresh … Continue reading Bitter Observation Day
Month: May 2015
Suns out, Guns out
The weather in Seattle is getting warmer, which means people are taking advantage of being outside like they should, because in another day or two, it could be another one of those days. The ones that happen ALL the time in Seattle. 50-60, cloudy, a little windy, perhaps a little wet and discombobulating enough that it could … Continue reading Suns out, Guns out
I’m here to ruin your day
You know how optimists (or optometrists I can never tell the difference) always try to find the one little positive thing in even the darkest moments of your life? Well, I'm here to flip the script on that, and find the bitterest things in even your shiniest moments. I'm here to put some gloom … Continue reading I’m here to ruin your day
Ways to Express Bitterness without Talking
Headaches. A lot of things give me these. The flu, bad comedy, the Bachelorette, the Bachelor, grammar, too much information, too many people, doing too much work, gardening, going outside, phones, world peace, close basketball games, the internet not working, Internet Explorer, the future, the past, and the present. Those are all things that make … Continue reading Ways to Express Bitterness without Talking
Bitter Storage Unit
Storage units are for when you have so much junk, you just can't take having any more, so you rent a garage door, a lock and a security gate watched by someone 24/7 for $100 a month. As you probably know, I have a lot of junk, but I don't like paying money to store … Continue reading Bitter Storage Unit
Break stuff Friday Giftures
As you all know, this week sucked bananas(this phrase courtesy of Lil Rants over at her blog Lil Rants). Why you ask? Must you even ask? I didn't have pizza every single day, the naps were far too sparse, and my back(along with every other part of me) was a little sick and tired of … Continue reading Break stuff Friday Giftures
The Bittervengers
I finally went to see the Avengers this weekend. It was action packed and epic and had some of the coolest fights ever (Hulk vs. Iron Man's Hulk Buster). Many lessons were learned, like the working together is the best way to fight a common enemy and all lessons learned on previous adventures can … Continue reading The Bittervengers
Bitter Buzz
I can always tell how one of my posts is doing not because of the stats, but how my phone(they don't call it a smart phone for nothing) reacts. If it starts scaring people around me and buzzing, I know I've found a bitterness many people can relate to. Of course, my phone buzzes for … Continue reading Bitter Buzz
Weekend Bitter Dump
There is so much bitterness hiding deep within me (my brain mostly), that my brain is running out of storage space. I'm not sure how many gigs mine holds in comparison to other people, but I'm sure it is way less. Because of this, I might need to see about getting a brain upgrade soon, … Continue reading Weekend Bitter Dump
Finishing Weak Friday Giftures
You know how They say, "It's not about how you start, it's how you finish." Well, I'm not sure who They is, but if that is the case, I'm in big trouble. I am a classic strong starter. I'm constantly coming up with ideas, consistently bad ideas, and getting super excited about how I will … Continue reading Finishing Weak Friday Giftures
Bitter Bullied Ben
Admit it. When you were bullied as a kid, you saw Karate Kid and immediately asked your mom if you could sign up for karate. She said no, but you were determined to learn so you went upstairs, and put on a white lab coat, found your mom's black neckerchief and tied it around you … Continue reading Bitter Bullied Ben
My Bitter Fetch Quest
Everyone has a place where they go to escape the bitterness of everyday life. Some people like to go shopping, some are really good at taking a naps (obviously, duh) and other people like to spend time in the great outdoors(I still haven't figured out what is so Great about them). My escape is … Continue reading My Bitter Fetch Quest
Hey Mom, Thanks a lot
Hey Mom, thanks a lot for enduring all that bitter pain for 9 months, just so you would have to endure even more pain for another 42 years(and counting). You'd think that you could at least muster up a grimace, a mean word or even a bitter thought about me. How is a guy … Continue reading Hey Mom, Thanks a lot
Kicking and Screaming
This morning I kicked a wooden step stool, because I haven't perfected my night vision. I came kicking and screaming into the world because I was cold and because my legs weren't working right yet. There is a app named KIK, which is a messenger tool. So basically it helps you get in touch with … Continue reading Kicking and Screaming
Bitter Ben for Prez
At first glance you may not think of me as a serious candidate for President, and you would be totally right. But right now it is trending to run for President on Twitter, so I can't not at least look at the idea right? So last night while swimming with sharks, I considered it. Sure, … Continue reading Bitter Ben for Prez
Bitter Old Man
I just turned 42 last month. Talking about being in your fourties, I think Louis CK said it best. Of course, I'm paraphrasing here: When you are 40(42 is in the same yacht) you're old. You're half dead. But you're not old enough for anyone to give a crap that you're old. Nobody spends their … Continue reading Bitter Old Man
The Bitter Shark Tank Experience
DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DEEEEE First in the Shark Tank today is Blogger Bitter Ben, who is a full-time blogger that is looking to become a rich and lazy entrepreneur. Bitter Ben: Hi, Sharks. My name is Bitter Ben and I'm asking for $1,000,000 for 5% of my company. Sharks, I was looking … Continue reading The Bitter Shark Tank Experience
10 Points from Gifendor
What's up, filthy Muggles? Professor Snape here. Actually you could call me Head Master Snape. I'm guest posting for Bitter Ben on the Friday Giftures this week. Just to keep you up to date on my life, I'm running things at the Hogwarts College of Witchcraft and Wizard Laundry. (Spoiler warning) I know you think … Continue reading 10 Points from Gifendor
Ben's Bitter Blog 