Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures

Why do you think March Madness the ultimate time of year for so many people? Well, some say it is for college basketball. You know, the crazy upsets, the buzzer beaters and the nail biting games. Or it could be the one-in-a-million shot that you could accidentally fill out a Final Four bracket in your … Continue reading Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures

DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures

The reason I know that I was meant to live in this period of history, is because this is the best time period to be lazy. Imagine me trying to get away with being lazy in Jurassic Park era. As soon as I decided that I wanted to hang out in the cave, I would … Continue reading DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures

Selling a Piece of History Bitter Friday Giftures

For anyone who read my blog post on Tuesday, I promised a big announcement and since I am really good at disappointing all of you, here it is. But before I announce it let's get some context. You see, in recent days, something weird has taken over the news. You might have seen it in … Continue reading Selling a Piece of History Bitter Friday Giftures

Headphone Bitter Friday Giftures

I've always been a big advocate of people leaving me alone. One of my best defenses against people talking to me was this marvelous invention called headphones. When people see them on me, they should assume that I am listening to something of utmost importance, even if I'm only listening to a goofy podcast, or … Continue reading Headphone Bitter Friday Giftures

Cartoonish Behavior Bitter Friday Giftures

Last week I talked about when I was a kid and how people were always trying to get me to go play more sports. I guess sports were supposed to teach me about getting in shape, working with a bunch of other people and following rules or something. As you can see, all those things … Continue reading Cartoonish Behavior Bitter Friday Giftures

Come out and Play Bitter Friday Giftures

When I was in 3rd and 4th grade, I was a fairly athletic and yet very lazy person. The neighborhood kids at my school always wanted to play football after school and would call a bunch of people to come play. When I was done with school all I wanted to do was come home … Continue reading Come out and Play Bitter Friday Giftures

Walking Billboard Bitter Friday Giftures

This morning when I was getting ready, I noticed something. I put on a Nike shirt, a Nike sweatshirt, some Nike shoes and some Gap jeans. I've liked Nike products ever since I was young, and the jeans, well I just like how they fit. I'm not sure that I like Nike for any particular … Continue reading Walking Billboard Bitter Friday Giftures

Broken Record Bitter Friday Giftures

Have you ever noticed that your life seems like a broken record? Hold on. Let's back up a little here first. What is a broken record? If you are under 25 do you even know what a record is? If you don't, it is a really large CD, which, wait, you probably don't know what … Continue reading Broken Record Bitter Friday Giftures

M. A. D. Principle Bitter Friday Giftures

It would seem rather grim that I'm writing about the M.A.D. Principle one week before Christmas, but I'm not a Hallmark movie, so I'm not preparing for the big Christmas festival with gingerbread making contests and Christmas scavenger hunts. I'm just a regular bitter person that want to talk about the M.A.D. syndrome or Mutually … Continue reading M. A. D. Principle Bitter Friday Giftures

Flying Under the Radar Bitter Friday Giftures

I've never done skydiving or had wings. I'm not a bird or a pterodactyl.  I'm not a jet pilot and I don't have a pilot's license. In other words, I don't know how to fly. I have taken some airline flights before, but I've never been to space. I do however, fly under radars. I … Continue reading Flying Under the Radar Bitter Friday Giftures

The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special

Remember gathering around the Tube of many colors as a family when you were a kid?  Remember those old Holiday Special Variety Shows that celebrities did on television where they would decorate a tree or have a snowball fight(I especially enjoyed when the snowball fight went just a little too far) or sat around opening presents?  All so they had the excuse to sing Holiday … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special

Bitter Dreams Toy Company

When I am asked to give a speech at seminars, usually as the Principal of the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness, I don't prepare.  A long time ago, I would pore over notes, walk around talking to myself and even have dillusions of more than my parents clapping at a rousing speech that I would give.  Then … Continue reading Bitter Dreams Toy Company

Bitter Management

Many years ago, when I was a lot less into my mid life crisis (29 years old), I had told my wife of my desire for a surprise party for my 30th birthday. After talking about it, she told me it wasn't a good idea, because I would know about it and it wouldn't be … Continue reading Bitter Management

Amazing Race: The Bitter Review

Yesterday, I was inside most of the day watching our LDS Worldwide Church Conference on TV.  My kids were bugging each other all day, so I decided to take them outside so I could see what the outdoors looked like.  We were really ambitious and decided to go on a walk.  After losing my breath after … Continue reading Amazing Race: The Bitter Review

Bitter Entertainment News (B.E.N.)

As a lifelong ignorer of news, I usually have no idea what is happening in Bosnia or Washington DC or even Seattle.  Sure I've heard of the occasional Disney princess (Miley Virus anyone?) going awry or the forecast of an actual sunny day in Seattle, but the news interferes with me playing video games or napping, which are way more … Continue reading Bitter Entertainment News (B.E.N.)

Bitter Insurance Commercials

Every day, as I am driving, I roll down my window, pull out my wallet and let the money fly right out.  Not literally, of course, are you crazy?(I only do that on special occasions.) Every six months I pay someone several hundred dollars to "give me piece of mind" for the off chance that I may accidently … Continue reading Bitter Insurance Commercials

Bicycle Bitterness

Remember the feeling you had the first time you learned how to do something? The first time you learned to fail at math and got an "F" on your report card? Or almost drowned learning how to swim? Or got your first cavity, by brushing your teeth improperly or even got bitter for the first … Continue reading Bicycle Bitterness

Bitter News with Pictures

Sarcasm is my second language.  The only reason it is second is because Bitterness is my native tongue.  I hope to someday learn English fluently.  When I get really ambitious I might learn Spanish bitterness, then possibly Spanish sarcasm.  Don't ever expect me to learn Spanish though. There is finally a way to express my heartfelt … Continue reading Bitter News with Pictures

Mother’s Day Bitterness

  I've noticed around the Blogimunity, facebook (facebook doesn't get a capital letter), and Twitter that many people have been saying really nice things about their moms.  It seems like that there has been a simultaneous, worldwide niceness towards moms.  I guess everyone has just been really sentimental towards their moms and for that I … Continue reading Mother’s Day Bitterness