Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures

I was born with a overgrown chip on my shoulder which contributed to my acute bittertosis. This chip contributed to my lifelong bitter rivalry with Scouts. Last night as we went to the concert(don’t get all excited, it was my son’s 2nd grade space concert), which caused us to show up late for his scout meeting, somewhere in my half awake state, I reflected on how scouts has increased the large chip on my shoulder. It ruined the Wednesday’s and Friday/Saturday’s every couple of month for campouts in my youth, then ten years ago it ruined my Tuesday’s as a “leader”(a term I use loosely). Now it’s ruining my Tuesday and sometimes Thursdays as a parent/leader again. But the worst of all was last night when it made my chip the largest, when it took chips away from me. Chocolate chips. The chocolate chips on top of the Rice Krispy Treats that weren’t going to me, but to the Scouts after their pack meeting. Let’s take a look at some other people with large chips on their shoulders:

Like for instance this Dolphin…

Dop

…whose girldolphin just broke up with him.

 This dog just got a chip…

...in his shoulder when he ran straight over the fence.

…in his shoulder when he ran straight over the fence.

Clearly this cat had the game gene removed…

sdfdf

…and had a chip inserted in her shoulder so she could be in a famous cat video someday.

This guy had his chip removed and replaced…

df

…with a creepy vibe.

This amazing specimen of bitter rage..

dsf

…well, he just got electrocuted by this wrestling ring.

This pizza cutter…

This pizza cut

…better back off with his murderous intentions. 

This dad just provided his son with the greatest gift…

sdf

…the reason why he will someday have a bitter chip on his shoulder.

As hard as this muppet tried…

df

…he couldn’t trump the real thing. 

As hard as this guy is working to get rid of his chip…

df

…he just can’t kick it. 

Apparently John Boyega(Fin from Star Wars) was just told…

df

…he would not be in the sequel and just got his chip inserted.

The only chip these guys have…

sdf

…is Chip from Beauty and the Beast that they are drinking from.

And the chip that is residing on my shoulder…

sd

…is that there is no pizza on my plate right now for almost finishing a blog post.

Tune in next time…

dfd

…for a very special C.H.I.P.s on your Shoulder….

The next time someone comments about that chip on your shoulder, you tell them it is yours and you will not tolerate someone making you to feel like any less of a person for having it. Because it belongs on YOUR Rice Krispy Treats and those are yours and not someone else’s.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bitter You Got To Get that Chip off you Shoulder Ben

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19 thoughts on “Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures

  1. I have one shoulder that rides lower than the other from years of carrying a backpack full of books to class. Maybe I should put a chip on the other one, you know, to balance things out? I don’t do Scouts, but maybe I could make Rice Krispy treats for myself and piss myself off by not putting chocolate chips on top?

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    • That would sure make me bitter. Though it would be remedied pretty soon, because I would just put chocolate chips on mine if they weren’t already there. And I still carry a backpack of mostly unnecessary things. I think George Clooney from Up in the Air would have a field day with me.

      Like

  2. There was a kid I knew who had a chipped tooth and we called him Chip. Then one of my friends decided they had a crush on him so we really couldn’t say the word chip without busting out laughing. Now this chip of bitterness on my shoulder prevents any laughter. It’s really rather bittersweet.

    Liked by 1 person

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