The Purge

I don't know about all you, but I was pretty popular in high school. I had loads of friends(two) and among them I was like the comedian/athlete meaning I really liked telling knock knock jokes and it only took me 15 minutes to run the mile compared to their 15:05's. I had parties at my … Continue reading The Purge

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Bitterecognition

Yesterday, I was painting the eaves of my house, and it brought back memories of my youth when I was an aspiring Eagle Scout, doing my Eagle Scout project. For some crazy reason, my brother and I decided to work together on a three building painting project at our county fair. An old train station, … Continue reading Bitterecognition

My Bitter Dream Jobs

Pretty much every job sucks because the pay isn't enough to justify the torture they put you through, and because they make you do things that aren't comfortable. Stuff like think, type things, not lay on the couch, not allowing your thoughts to wander, not allowing you to wear clothes that are comfortable and requiring … Continue reading My Bitter Dream Jobs

Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKHMqTUBQkY I see it everyday. Littered across different blogs, or on Instagram feeds, or even on the antiquated Facebook. Pictures of people with other people that aren't in their family. Not people that they work with. They are smiling in photos, or happily sitting on beach chairs, or going on hikes through the woods, or … Continue reading Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures

The Bitter Dream World

When you are super lazy like me, and then are forced into doing actual work, you tend to get a little tired. Since naps are pretty much a requirement for me to be at my all time minimumest, I have to find another way to get them so I can be at my bitter best. … Continue reading The Bitter Dream World

Bringing the Thunder

I'm good at noticing patterns. Well, at least when they happen over and over and over again. That's why I did so well on recognizing patterns part of the ACT's. And when I say I did well, I mean I did better than the math and science and the apprehensive portions. Meaning I got a … Continue reading Bringing the Thunder

The Big Daddy of them all

I don't know if you know this but today is Father's Day and you know what that means. Two little kids owe me some breakfast in bed and a new jet ski because of all that fathering I've been doing for them ever since they became my little tax deductions, uh little wonderful kids. They … Continue reading The Big Daddy of them all

Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures

  I live and work with a bunch of overachievers. Did you know there are actually people in the world that want more than to sit on their couch and eat pizza and play video games? I have no idea how exhausting it must be to have goals to do stuff other than that. What … Continue reading Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures

A Three Hour Tour

I'm not from Arizona or the south where the temperatures are apparently slightly higher than the sun's core, and I'm not from DC or California where the traffic is slower than the parking lot at Walmart on Black Friday, but I am from Seattle where the sun doesn't shine(where people keep telling me to go) … Continue reading A Three Hour Tour

The Bitter Power of Editing

I was talking to my writer's group the other day and told them I could not make it to the group this week because I was too lazy and wanted to sleep in on Saturday. They totally would have believed me if I actually did say that, but unfortunately, that isn't what I really told … Continue reading The Bitter Power of Editing

Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness

  The Bendiana Jones bitterventures continue in the third installment of the franchise in Bendiana Jones and The Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness. It all starts in a typically boring day in Bitter Bendiana's life as he prepares for a vacation in late May. As he ties up the last of the loose ends at work, … Continue reading Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness

Mowing down the Friday Giftures

  A blade of grass. Swaying back and forth in the rhythm of the summer night's warm breeze. Not a care in the world as it feels the purple sunset's warmth cascade down its back. Thoughts of summer's past. Soft music hangs in the air, in concert with crickets chirping. The blade feels peace, serenity. … Continue reading Mowing down the Friday Giftures

Becoming Bitterly Famous

I've always wanted to be famous. Since at least 2012. That's why I created this blog. I want my face on every billboard, my name in lights on broadway, on every credit in every television show, my name in every movie's IMDB. I want to be so famous that you won't even be able to … Continue reading Becoming Bitterly Famous

Bitter Combo’s

I've played video games my whole life.  Sure the graphics were kind of cloudy in the beginning, but that's because my bitter vision hadn't quite developed as well as my lungs did that first day.  I remember doing a lot of screaming that day, but it was mostly because I couldn't even get past the first … Continue reading Bitter Combo’s

Santa Clause was at to our Garage Sale

  "He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been good or bitter, so be bitter for goodness sake." - Bitter Ben stealing lyrics from a beloved child's song and exploiting it for his Blog's sake. It was 85 degrees and sunny yesterday, which never happens in Seattle … Continue reading Santa Clause was at to our Garage Sale

Guest Post-Hot Mess Memoir-How I Plan to Quit my Job

  We all have that quitting-the-job fantasy, especially on those bitter days when your job sucks so bad, you'd rather run across a desert of glass shards than work another hour, take another phone call, or listen to your boss bark another order at you. Hot Mess, as she likes to be called over at … Continue reading Guest Post-Hot Mess Memoir-How I Plan to Quit my Job

Dancing with the Subpars Friday Giftures

  You know that show on ABC called Dancing with the Stars? It's a dance competition where minor celebrities get to actually work for a change and learn how to dance well while judges try to teach them how to improve. In the meantime, the rest of us are over here going, how dances to … Continue reading Dancing with the Subpars Friday Giftures