Since we just had solar eclipse, it's relevant that I celebrate my 51st rotation around the sun by listing my 51 reasons why you or I should be Bitter. Lists - They are long and tedious and take a lot of time. The only one that doesn't is this one. Nerolinks - Better than hyperlinks, … Continue reading 51 Reasons I’m Bitter
First World Problems
Solving the National Debt BFG’s
I'm not known as a problem solver. In fact, the only instance there is on the books of me solving problems is when my wife wants to vent. As you know, women don't want you to solve their problems, they just want you to listen. She was trying to tell me that, but I was … Continue reading Solving the National Debt BFG’s
The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Hello all. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to doing posts around Christmas, but I'm really good at reposting some classics. So I hope you enjoy. And Bitter Christmas to you all. He is as green as Eggs and Ham. He is as green as the Redwood Forest. He is as green as the Hulk … Continue reading The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
I've been simultaneously listening and watching the movie Ready Player One a lot in the last month. A lot of fans of the book hated the movie, because they are wildly different. I was lucky enough to have seen the movie first and the read the book, so the movie didn't taint my feelings of … Continue reading Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
Rotational BFG’s
I've heard of some people that have lived in the same place, and the same home all their lives. I don't know if I can even comprehend that kind of situation, because I've been a nomad all my life. In chronological order, I've lived in California, New York, South Dakota, Idaho, 8 different locations in … Continue reading Rotational BFG’s
Chyron’s and Ticker’s and HUD’s BFG’s
There are two different kinds of people in the world. The ones that thrive being around other people, and the ones that thrive being around not people. If left to my own devices (ie computer devices), I could go months before needing human contact. As long as I have a couch, a TV, and some … Continue reading Chyron’s and Ticker’s and HUD’s BFG’s
Way Off Balance BFG’s
Yesterday, unlike most of my days at work, I spent most of the day trying to help balance a 13-story building of bottles to spell two words. It was a promotional video for Prime Day, and our social media team decided that we were going to build a wall of bottles and then smash through … Continue reading Way Off Balance BFG’s
Out of Focus BFG’s
I remember a unit of science in 7th grade dedicated to learning about kinetic energy. I couldn't imagine what kinetic energy was then, because it was only a concept and I'm a visual learner. I know what it is now, because for the last several years, I've been one of the adult leaders of a … Continue reading Out of Focus BFG’s
Living Rent-Free Bitterness
I've had a dream since I was a young bitterling. Not the type of dream most of you have, like traveling, becoming famous or writing a novel. Actually, I do have the novel dream, and the getting rich part of the rich and famous, but one dream has always stood above all. The reason I … Continue reading Living Rent-Free Bitterness
Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
One time when I was in college, I was so distraught by a girl breaking up with me, that I slept in until 4 pm. It was the oddest sensation I'd ever felt. When I woke up, I went to the campus bookstore, and it was already closed for the day. People had already woken … Continue reading Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Categorical Failure Bitterness
Back in high school, I was assigned to do a group presentation about something boring to our class. It was a bunch of really boring facts, where most of the groups just stood up, and presented the facts the same old way. I didn't like boring, so I asked everyone in the group if we … Continue reading Categorical Failure Bitterness
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Talent Show Bitterness
When I was younger and family reunions were still a thing, we used to go to exotic locations like California, Arizona, or Utah to visit old people. Every time, I would get comments like, "My, how you've grown," or "Why does he always have a scowl on his face?" Then really ancient relatives wouldn't show … Continue reading Talent Show Bitterness
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Bitter Writer’s Strike
When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike
The Most Important Chip
My wife and daughter have been out of town since last Friday, so it's just me and my son for the week. My delusional personality figured it would fun and games for the whole week. The boy and I would play games on the weekend, then go to school and work and live the high … Continue reading The Most Important Chip
Cosplay Bitterness
We all have a Mecca of sorts. A place in the world that we dream of going someday, because it has some sort of significance to us. Some people would love to visit the North Pole and have a visit with Santa Claus, because they love being cold. Others would love to visit the homeland … Continue reading Cosplay Bitterness
Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The weather people in Utah spent all last summer moaning and complaining about the apocalyptical drought we were going through. They warned us to stop watering our lawns and demanded that we stop drinking unless we were on drop from dying of dehydration. We were assured if we brushed our teeth and let the water … Continue reading Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The Bitter Corruption Industry
Ten years ago, I was living in Seattle at the peak of my misery. If you've lived in Seattle, you know there is only two seasons. One lasts 11 and a half months and it's cloudy, cold, rainy, wet and windy. The other two weeks, the sun vacationed in Seattle, but it was only for … Continue reading The Bitter Corruption Industry
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