Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Daylight Savings vs. Nightlight Savings

Nobody likes a thief. Yet every year, those of us that are forced to change every one of our clocks(I guess Arizona thinks they are so cool because they don't switch back and forth like the rest of us) because some arbitrary time clock boss tells us we have to, we allow time to be … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Daylight Savings vs. Nightlight Savings

St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures

I've never been much of a St. Patrick's Day guy because I don't like being told what color I'm supposed to wear, and I don't like people in my personal space trying to pinch me. And if they pinch me, I should be growing an inch, not because I forgot to wear green. Plus, when … Continue reading St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures

Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures

  You know those cats that are on those posters that are hanging on a rope and the stupid caption above their head says, "Hold on or something" or "Hang in there, man, you hang in there, you got that McClane?" Well the gifs being presented today are nothing like those motivational moments. These are … Continue reading Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures

Guess who wrote 4 posts on this blog for the first time ever 5 years ago today?

  I don't know. Someone probably. And also me. I am guessing that literally zero people that are reading this blog right now, read the first 4 posts I wrote that day. You know why I know that? Because the day I wrote my first post, only three people read it, and it was people … Continue reading Guess who wrote 4 posts on this blog for the first time ever 5 years ago today?

The Customer Service around here is horrible…

I've spent quite a lot of time in my career in customer service, which as you know is a really bad thing, because I'm horrible at it. People can sense it with me when I'm on the phone with them. They can feel the gritted teeth, the sarcastic tone, and they can see the eye … Continue reading The Customer Service around here is horrible…

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Video Games vs. Work

Just like in the video games we play, there is a constant battle of my time between playing video games and doing some sort of work. When crossing the battlefield of time wasters, who will be King of the Hill? The Battle of the Bad Back: My lower back is constantly hurting me. But what … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Video Games vs. Work

That was a close shave…Friday Giftures

  I'm not sure where that expression came from. I have been shaving since I was 14, and I've never had a close shave. I've had shaves that have cut, bruised, bled, caused multiple blood spots, and splotches, but never had one close. And for goodness sakes, I shave all the time and somehow it … Continue reading That was a close shave…Friday Giftures

Giving up things for Lent…

How was all of your Fat Tuesdays? I'm not Catholic and I don't go to Mardi Grass, but I've heard that you are supposed to give up things for Lent. Yes, this sounds like a fabulous idea. I have lots of things to give up. In fact, I have a whole garageful. I would really … Continue reading Giving up things for Lent…

It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

  That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren't supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy  would rot all their … Continue reading It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

For the first time in 15 years, I won't be working the day after President's Day. This is a good thing, because it used to be the worst day at my old job. It was always a double duty day, because most of the dealer's we worked with didn't get President's Day off, so we … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures

As we embark on the NBA All-Star weekend, we celebrate what the NBA is most famous for. Not the slam dunk or the 3 point shot, or the monster block, but the trash talk. It isn't good enough to dunk on someone, you have to then deliver a well placed insult to the opponent you … Continue reading Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures

The Bitter Heart Replacement

For years, I've talked about wanting to become less of a person and more of a robot. Why people want to have so many fleshy people parts is beyond me. I don't know about you, but I would really like to have parts of my body that didn't hurt all the time. My shoulders, my … Continue reading The Bitter Heart Replacement

Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures

  Seeing that the ratings on this show have been dipping for a while, I thought we would try something a little different to get the ratings up. Actually, we are going to do pretty much what other shows do when their ratings are dipping. We are going to do a live blog. So starting … Continue reading Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures

My Bitter I.O.W.A. experience

I grew up in South Dakota. As the butt of almost all jokes from other states except from our Northern brethren, North Dakota, it was hard to defend South Dakota. Most states were either bigger, faster, stronger or more famous than us.  At least I was from the biggest town in South Dakota, which was … Continue reading My Bitter I.O.W.A. experience

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

As we all hungrily (airs faced squarely in the air) await the Super Bitter Bowl today, to satiate our appetites for the predictably highest rated program of the year, let us look to one of the more interesting rivalries out there. First up is the the "Lambo" as it is affectionately called, has a mysterious … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks

Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

  It's hotter than the trendiest nightclub, cooler than the cold weather the groundhog is predicting for the next 6 weeks, fresher than the bagels at Einsteins Bagels this morning, more bitter than unsweetened chocolate, and more hashtagy trending that Twitter and upwardly blue arrowy than Facebook. Iiiiit's Bitter Friday Giftures.... Though the gifs are … Continue reading Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures

If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

I was reading a comic the other day about a girl that was struck by lightning and given super powers.  When first given those powers, she decided that she would use them for doing good. She would rescue stray dogs, fight bad guys and punch a hole in injustice. She ended up doing none of … Continue reading If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts

Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures

  There has been a lot of sledding going on around here, what with there being snow on all surfaces lately. I've heard that some people actually get to sled downhill, which sounds super easy and fun. I wish I knew how that worked, because everywhere I've ever sledded has been an uphill both ways … Continue reading Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures