The crack of a bat, the gentle breeze of the wind, the chirping of birds, the long, lazy night. Those are the things people associate with the first day of summer. Problem is, the first day of summer is only one day. The day after that goes downhill fast. The crack of the bat … Continue reading Second Day of Summer Bitter Friday Giftures
One of my favorite episodes of the Office is when Micheal Scott calls the office to tell everyone that he burned his foot on a George Forman grill. The episode is the funny from beginning to end. Micheal asks Pam to come and get him and he acts like the world has ended because his … Continue reading I might have a Concussion
Meetings are the bane of existence. In yesterday's Dilbert comic on my calendar, they talked about a four hour meeting in which Dilbert, the pointy haired boss, and the intern all talked about the conclusion of the meeting was three different outcomes. The boss then suggests that they should have another four hour meeting to … Continue reading Hanxiety
We just had Father's Day a few days ago and it got me thinking about my dad. His work ethic was pretty legendary. He left early and got home pretty late. He had a very challenging church calling as well, so he wasn't home a lot. Because of that, he didn't do much cooking. He … Continue reading International House of Bitterness
When we lived in Seattle, we used to get power outages all the time. I think it was because it rained all the time, the lightning and wind would blow the way too pervasive amount of trees around, and whall la, power outage. When we had outages there though, they would almost always go on … Continue reading The Bitter IT Guy
I hear the soccer or football is going on right now. Clearly I am not like the rest of world and even knew that. Anyways, today I was participating in another type of sport called the Highway luge. It's a very dangerous sport in which you drive on the freeway between 2 very large … Continue reading Shooting The Luge Bitter Friday Giftures
I've never been anywhere outside of North America. Not that I haven't tried. One time I was scheduled to go to Sweden with the rest of my family, but my wife decided that this would be a good time to meet me and be engaged and stuff. So, I ended up being the only one … Continue reading Bucket List
Ever since I was pretty young, I've been a really small circle of bitter friends kind of guy. As previously noted on this blog, I'm a claustraphobic and I probably didn't mention, I have social anxiety too. You probably don't have to be Einstein to figure that out. Basically parties are my worst nightmare. They … Continue reading Bitter Friend Finder
Last night I was a little miffed. This is my favorite time of year. Not because of the warmer, longer days, or because there are more activities going on outside. I mean, we have a freaking mosquito infestation right outside our door, so the minute we leave our house, we have to sprint outside to … Continue reading Freezing Bitterness
Can I tell you the difference between how men bond and how women bond? At least this is my perspective. So women are usually able to go to a place and sit down for lunch and chat, or sit down in their living room and chat. They might nibble on some finger food, or sip … Continue reading Having your momma on the show
I don't know if it is because I'm the oldest male in the house, or because my fears are about more about failure and tight spaces, but I've always been the designated spider killer. Last night I was wrestling with the boy (and losing) until he saw the tiniest of spiders on his wall. … Continue reading Spider Sat down beside him Bitter Friday Giftures
There is this guy in my department that can speak five languges. I find it almost unfathomable to speak another language. Not that it wouldn't be cool to know one. It would come in handy when you wanted to spy on someone. You see it all the time in movies. Two people speaking a different … Continue reading Foreign Language Animals
One of my favorite movies of all time is Scott Pilgrim. If you don't know it, that's okay. I kind of like to keep it to myself. Anyways, one of the parts that is funniest to me is when Scott goes to this new girl's house and she asks him if he wants tea. He … Continue reading Variety Is the Spice of Life
I like to talk about this a lot, because it makes me so bitter. When I was a kid, I was skinny as a rail. I know because I used to have a bed that had a rail, and I would sit in front of the mirror and compare myself to it. Just kidding. I … Continue reading Skin Eraser
One day, on my way to picking up my daughter from play practice, I got one of those amazing thoughts. It was a blog post idea that made immediate sense. I was so excited that I completely ignored my son, and driving and pulled out my phone. This is where I store all my ideas … Continue reading Maniac Monday – Bitter Memory Loss
We are still putting the closing touches on our move. Our kids had their last day, so of course, they got kid parties to go to. So between my wife and I we made like 5 trips back and forth between our new place and the old one, the last one to pick up … Continue reading All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures
You know that old saying, "I am rubber and you are glue, bounces off of me and sticks to you." Also, the one that says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Yeah, those saying only apply to other people. Words stick to ME like glue. Sticks and stone … Continue reading Words stick to me like Glue
You bitterlings finally came up with some questions for me to answer. Not very good ones mind you, but that's okay, because I don't have very good answers. From Does It Even Matter? Q’s: Were you born bitter or did that develop over time? Bitterness was something I was born with. I spend 9 months … Continue reading It’s Finally Q&A Time
Did everyone have as bitter of a weekend as I did? I mean seriously, we got the same NBA Finals as we have the last four years? The weather was fairly lackluster and haven't blogged since last Friday, so it seems like it has been an eternity since I've written a terrible blog post. Though … Continue reading Music on Repeat
...to bring your this message from the Emergency Bittercast System. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pizvdm_DbFY Bitter Ben was going to write another terrible bitter blog post today, but he is unavailable today, because it is Memorial Day and he is asleep right now. Because he is sleeping right now, I am going to take over the blog to … Continue reading We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogram…
