Escaping Reality Bitterness

Movies have been a fascination to me for a long time. I took a class in college about film once and I learned about all about its different aspects. Directing and acting of course, but also about cinematography, screenwriting and editing and how much effect they can each have on a movie. Ever since then, … Continue reading Escaping Reality Bitterness

Introverts Employment Network

Extroverts are the rockstars of this big wide world of ours. They thrive on being in front of crowds, being the life of the party and making a scene. If not for them, cavemen and women may have just died out, because they would stayed home and watched Netflix, read books and only left the … Continue reading Introverts Employment Network

Bitter Easter Disaster

I'm sitting here on a Monday morning, bitter that I'm work. Bitter that it's a Monday morning, bitter that it's cold out. Bitter that I barely slept at all over the weekend. And I just wanted to stay in bed. And yet here I am. For some reason, I am scarily dependent when it comes … Continue reading Bitter Easter Disaster

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Red Pill vs. The Blue Pill

The Matrix is my all time favorite surprise movies. After I graduated college, I continued to be just as much of a dork as I was in college and that meant I went to see a lot of movies alone. I was okay with that because it was really hard to find people as bitter … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Red Pill vs. The Blue Pill

The Bitter 700 Club and Friday Giftures

  As you know (just kidding, you have no idea) I just hit 700 posts of pure bitterness. I haven't checked with the Guinness Book of World Records (or is it a Guinness E-Book of World Records only available on Amazon Kindle. I don't know), but I'm pretty sure it is the record of something. … Continue reading The Bitter 700 Club and Friday Giftures

Bitter Wake-Up Call

Some of them come with a beep. Some play music. Some come to your hotel room via old school annoying telephone ring. Some even come with the smell of fresh napalm. Jim Carrey had it wrong when he thought he made the most annoying sound in the word. We all know the most annoying sound … Continue reading Bitter Wake-Up Call

Bitter Bendsetter

There was the one time. So many years ago. I was on the track team in seventh grade and I needed some shoes. My mom took me to Payless to get a cheap pair. They were bright white and very uncomfortable. Everyone saw them. They couldn't really miss them. I wore them for a few … Continue reading Bitter Bendsetter

A Bitter Tale of Two Goats

Come siteth down in a semi circle around me in the courthouse bitizens, as I Bitterian Ben, the court bitterian, regale you with a true tale of a King's two goats, some bitizens, and some blackberries. And when I say goat, I don't mean G.O.A.T. as in Greatest Of All Timeth, but goat as in … Continue reading A Bitter Tale of Two Goats

Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures

I was born with a overgrown chip on my shoulder which contributed to my acute bittertosis. This chip contributed to my lifelong bitter rivalry with Scouts. Last night as we went to the concert(don't get all excited, it was my son's 2nd grade space concert), which caused us to show up late for his scout … Continue reading Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures

A Day at the Improv

I'll never build a house. Never fix a car, fly a jet,  be a CEO, run a country or become the president of something (even if I'm the only survivor of the apocalypse, I will still only get elected vice president) nor will I do the counting of the votes for the accounting firm for … Continue reading A Day at the Improv

Next Man(or Woman) Up Bitterness

In the team sports world, there's been this concept lately that has popped up, called Next Man or Woman up.  Essentially it's where a teammate gets injured or "accidentally takes a sleeping pill over and over again that seems to show up exactly like steroids in their system" or a teammate"accidentally walks into a bank … Continue reading Next Man(or Woman) Up Bitterness

The Time Thief

I worked a shift at the jerk store this weekend. I passed out some sample insults, sold some high fives to the face, locked people out of bathrooms, and started a food fight in the cafeteria. When they finally let me go home 4 hours late, I lazed on the couch, ate my typical food … Continue reading The Time Thief

The Jerk Store called and said they ran out of Bitter Giftures

Who is ready for this week to end? Who has had just about enough of this crap? Whose eyeballs just can't take it anymore? Yeah, me either. If you think you are sick of reading this blog for a fourth day in a row, how do you think I feel having write it for a … Continue reading The Jerk Store called and said they ran out of Bitter Giftures

Coming Soon – A Bitter Rap Musical

You know how you feel way more comfortable being a psychopath at home than you do at work or other public places? Like for instance, you have no qualms about using weird voices or talking really loudly or walking around with no shoes or socks on? Just me? Whoops. Well, there is this thing we … Continue reading Coming Soon – A Bitter Rap Musical

The Bitter Battle at the Grocery Store Corale

Yesterday's post was about the Beneral Election for President of the Bitter Blog of Bittermerica. Or was it?  Nope it actually wasn't. Yesterday was simply my way of saying it was my four year Bitter Blogiversary and not one person commented on that. Aaaand that makes me bitter. Either everyone knew but just didn't say … Continue reading The Bitter Battle at the Grocery Store Corale

The Bitter Beneral Elections

On March 8th, 2012, exactly 4 year ago, we elected Bitter Ben to become president of this Bitter Blog, because, well, no one else ran. But now that his four years are up, it is time for someone, anyone else to step up. We need to elect a new leader of this blog. Bitter Ben … Continue reading The Bitter Beneral Elections

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Manual vs. Automatic

When there was a power outage last night for a few minutes, I went into a bitter rage. I expect when I click a remote control or flip on a light switch or hit a power button that those things turn on. How could the lights have the audacity to betray my laziness? I pay … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Manual vs. Automatic

Candy Crushing Friday Giftures

  I'm not sure why Candy Crush is so popular, because why would you ever want to crush candy? There are a lot of things in this world that are worthy of being broken and I think while candy isn't the last on the list, it is pretty close to being the last thing I … Continue reading Candy Crushing Friday Giftures

Finally Bitterly Published

I've got announcement to make that should make everyone pretty bitter. No, I'm not running for president, because I'm afraid I would actually win, and that would require working and pretending to be important and stuff and that just doesn't fit my schedule. It would interrupt my deep couch sitting and heavy snoring. Oh and … Continue reading Finally Bitterly Published