National Hug Day Bitter Giftures

A little quote I stole from myself. Which Lucky Wreck quoted on her blog with a fancy badge to make it look profesh.

A little quote I stole from myself. Which Lucky Wreck quoted on her blog with a fancy badge to make it look profesh.

I found out that yesterday was yet another holiday that I didn’t get off work for. National Hugger’s Day they call it.  Of course, I don’t believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone’s ribs that I’m not real fond of.  This is not to say that I shouldn’t have gotten the day off yesterday. There are a lot of holidays I take off even though I don’t believe in them.  Just because I’m not a leprechaun doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, by robbing people of their gold, or pinching them a little too hard for not wearing green. And I still take every Easter Sunday off and eat chocolate bunnies even though I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny.  So in celebration of National Hugging Day that I didn’t get off yesterday, I’m going to take today off of working, even though I will be here.  Here are a few Gifs of things that I would rather do than hug people.

I’d rather crawl through the sewer…


…than try to crawl away from a hug.  

I’d rather walk up a few steps…


…than step down for a hug. 

I’d rather get my stake a little overdone…


…than having someone milk another embrace. 

I’d rather swim voluntarily…


…than get hover hugged.

I’d rather get involved in a hit and run…


…than get involved in a drive by hugging.  

I’d rather get rainbombed…


…than get hugbombed…

I’d rather every day be Monday…


…than any day be HugDay….

I’d rather get stuck in traffic all day…


…than get stuck in someone’s embrace.

I’d rather doing training all day…


…than get stuck in the Hugway Express.

I’d rather jump up, around and through hoops all day…


…than get stuck in the middle of someone’s hooplike arms.  

I’d rather do a faceplant in front of millions on TV…


…than get hug planted in front of no other people.

I’d rather get stuck in the past forever…


…than have to embrace anyone in the future…

Thankfully, National Hug day is over, so we don’t have to live through the nightmare of getting hugbombed by someone accidentally, just like on April Fool’s day where we are on edge all day, because we don’t know what is a prank and what is not.  Just be aware that next year is only 364 days away….


Bitter No Hug Zone Ben


53 thoughts on “National Hug Day Bitter Giftures

  1. I am the consummate antithesis of a hugger, except, as the blogger above said, with children. Even a quick hug is endurable (that word keeps autocorrecting….did I make it up?) if I can’t avoid it. But bear hugs? Vomit vomit. My loves-to-hug friend sent me a “Happy National Hug Day” message as a joke. I’m totally with you on this one.


  2. Whatever’s next-
    national take your cat to lunch day,
    national alien sighters awareness day, aluminum hat required,
    national day of revenge for cutting christmas trees- bring tinsel to wind around town hall?
    National pickle week. oops. that one already exists.
    Maybe national hug a pickle day? Now that one I would take part in.
    Unless I work with them.
    Love how bitter you are!


  3. You know it was also Squirrel Appreciation Day, don’t you?

    For me, the day started with watching one of the neighborhood squirrels plummet from a tree and face-plant in the snow. The squirrel seemed to recover from that all right, but I’m sure it would hate to know we were talking about it online.


  4. I, too, am a non-hugger, except for my kids. In fact, I am a non-toucher. My personal space bubble is probably Pluto-sized. Why isn’t there a National Hands-Off Day? We could all stay alone in our cubicles and wave from a distance.


  5. Yay! I’m so glad the quote graphic found another purpose! It makes me feel so opposite of bitter…which makes me feel bitter… 😀 I need to dig up your cartoon guy and some Awards stuff!


  6. “I don’t believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone’s ribs that I’m not real fond of.”

    I can’t believe I never thought of that before myself! Thank you for opening my eyes to a new appreciation for yet another gratifying reward of the ever-powerful heart-warming, bone-crushing embrace. 😀


  7. Just a thought, Bitter Ben. Could Hugger Day actually be an environmental plea to hug a tree? If so, are you as bitter about the planet as you are toward other people and their needy, huggy ways? Could be a whole other blog rant!


  8. Did you read Stephanie’s Little Miss Menopause column yesterday? She is a well known hug hater as well. Perhaps you can get together and give each other stiff handshakes all day and sit as far from each other as humanly possible on your well worn couch while making awkward conversation.


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