Mirrors are such liars. I wake up every morning knowing that I am handsome and funny like Steve Carell, but as soon as I look in the mirror, I see this strange, weird, bitter older looking guy. So they are pretty useless and bad liars. It's this time of year, that I finally realize that … Continue reading 48 Things I’m Bitter About
Cars
Bitter Book Bitterness
Recently, I did a blog post about the fact that I've been blogging for 9 years now. Which seems crazy, because I barely have the attention span of a gnat. This blog is older than most gnats. Except for that gnat that looks like Prince Phillip. You might think that I've done nothing else in … Continue reading Bitter Book Bitterness
Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
Why do you think March Madness the ultimate time of year for so many people? Well, some say it is for college basketball. You know, the crazy upsets, the buzzer beaters and the nail biting games. Or it could be the one-in-a-million shot that you could accidentally fill out a Final Four bracket in your … Continue reading Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures
The reason I know that I was meant to live in this period of history, is because this is the best time period to be lazy. Imagine me trying to get away with being lazy in Jurassic Park era. As soon as I decided that I wanted to hang out in the cave, I would … Continue reading DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures
Broken Record Bitter Friday Giftures
Have you ever noticed that your life seems like a broken record? Hold on. Let's back up a little here first. What is a broken record? If you are under 25 do you even know what a record is? If you don't, it is a really large CD, which, wait, you probably don't know what … Continue reading Broken Record Bitter Friday Giftures
Flying Under the Radar Bitter Friday Giftures
I've never done skydiving or had wings. I'm not a bird or a pterodactyl. I'm not a jet pilot and I don't have a pilot's license. In other words, I don't know how to fly. I have taken some airline flights before, but I've never been to space. I do however, fly under radars. I … Continue reading Flying Under the Radar Bitter Friday Giftures
Realistic Expectations for Houses Bitterness
Although it is my neighbors sincere wish that I move far away from them, I am not hunting for houses. I've never been much of a hunter anyways, because that would require that I do it at least one time. Looking at houses in my spare time isn't much fun either because I look at them almost every … Continue reading Realistic Expectations for Houses Bitterness
Bitter Insurance Commercials
Every day, as I am driving, I roll down my window, pull out my wallet and let the money fly right out. Not literally, of course, are you crazy?(I only do that on special occasions.) Every six months I pay someone several hundred dollars to "give me piece of mind" for the off chance that I may accidently … Continue reading Bitter Insurance Commercials
Bitter Car Pictures of the Week
Doesn't it make you bitter when you just want someone else to do your work for you, because you are lazy? Well, not only am I lazy, but I am incompetent. I don't know anything about cars, except how to operate the windshield wipers. And even those I get confused with. Which button makes them go slow … Continue reading Bitter Car Pictures of the Week
Bicycle Bitterness
Remember the feeling you had the first time you learned how to do something? The first time you learned to fail at math and got an "F" on your report card? Or almost drowned learning how to swim? Or got your first cavity, by brushing your teeth improperly or even got bitter for the first … Continue reading Bicycle Bitterness
Movie Trailer Bitterness
It is that time of year. You know what I'm talking about. Summer. Okay, not calendarly for another 3 weeks. And not weather wise because it is still gray and cloudy. Not in school terms either, because our kids aren't out yet. And not summer barbeque wise yet, because we haven't had any summer bar-b-que's at work … Continue reading Movie Trailer Bitterness
Lazy Saturday Bitterness
I am an ambitious person when it comes to not doing things and being lazy. Â While I don't have time during the week (Monday-Friday) to do laziness, I do my best to plan for it during work hours. Â Obviously, I try to keep work to a minimum at my job. Â No need to get too … Continue reading Lazy Saturday Bitterness
Bitterland
According to the calendar, it should be springtime. After spring, usually there is this season called Summer. Summer is famous for many things, like scathingly hot weather(except in Seattle), drought, kids not being in school (causing apathy and laziness), forest fires, bugs, sunburns, overpriced and terrible summer movies, and overpriced and terrible amusement parks(in other … Continue reading Bitterland
40 reasons to be Bitter
Yesterday I was 39 years old and bitter. Â Today, I am old and bitter. Â For those of you who are smart (actually if you were smart you wouldn't follow this bitter blog) you would have deduced that yesterday was the day before my birthday, making today....the next day. Â In honor of a day that now … Continue reading 40 reasons to be Bitter
Backpack Bitterness
I am not a teenager anymore. I don't go to school. I don't have important things to carry around. I don't go on extended hikes in the mountains so I can get lost and find my way out.  Despite the fact that I am none of those things, I still carry around a backpack. I know I am a dork … Continue reading Backpack Bitterness
Car Bitterness
I have a dream that one day my life will be similar to human life on the spaceship from the movie Wall-E. Not for mankind in general but just for me. If you haven't seen the Wall-E, the premise is that humans had to leave earth because it wasn't safe anymore so they all live … Continue reading Car Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 