On Monday April 8th, there is going to be a total eclipse of the sun. I'm sensing an excitement around the country and perhaps the world. I don't know how many of you will be going to a certain location to witness the eclipse, but I assume that many of you are. I am actually … Continue reading Total Eclipse of the Smart BFG’s
Blogging
Hand Me Ups BFG’s
Before we get started with the regularly scheduled blog post, last week was my 12-year Bitter Blogiversary. You should probably congratulate me on being bitter for 12 years now. Back to your regularly schedule blog post. My son is adopted, and his story is quite interesting. After I get famous from writing my first novel … Continue reading Hand Me Ups BFG’s
Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
When I was in college, I used to love movies. I would go to at least 3 or 4 a month. They weren't as expensive back then, and I never fell for expensive popcorn or candy trick. I even used to work in a theater, so I got to see free movies (and get free … Continue reading Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
Closing Time BFG’s
Get some Creatine. In Season 8 of The Office, Andy starts singing Closing Time as part of his everyday routine to close out the workday. After doing it several dozen times, everyone in the office is sick of hearing it, except for one surprise character, Stanley. Stanely sings it with gusto, not because he likes … Continue reading Closing Time BFG’s
Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
I've been simultaneously listening and watching the movie Ready Player One a lot in the last month. A lot of fans of the book hated the movie, because they are wildly different. I was lucky enough to have seen the movie first and the read the book, so the movie didn't taint my feelings of … Continue reading Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
Dad Jokes BFG’s
I've had quite a story arc with my sense of humor. When I was a child, I was fairly serious, and the only thing that was funny about me was my hair. My mom was really bad about taking care of my it, so even when it was a formal occasion, she would somehow forget … Continue reading Dad Jokes BFG’s
Alien Invaders BFG’s
Do you ever wonder where you were when significant things happened in your lifetime? I've lived on this greasy rock for half a century, so a lot of time to wonder. I've had almost no involvement with most of the world's significant world events, but I often wonder what insignificant thing I was doing at … Continue reading Alien Invaders BFG’s
Rotational BFG’s
I've heard of some people that have lived in the same place, and the same home all their lives. I don't know if I can even comprehend that kind of situation, because I've been a nomad all my life. In chronological order, I've lived in California, New York, South Dakota, Idaho, 8 different locations in … Continue reading Rotational BFG’s
Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
As a video game fanatic, I need the latest and greatest console. But I also need the latest and greatest TV to be up to par with the processing power of the console. I want to make sure every pixel of the TV is optimized for my gaming. I finally have the optimum setup, with … Continue reading Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
Way Off Balance BFG’s
Yesterday, unlike most of my days at work, I spent most of the day trying to help balance a 13-story building of bottles to spell two words. It was a promotional video for Prime Day, and our social media team decided that we were going to build a wall of bottles and then smash through … Continue reading Way Off Balance BFG’s
World Building Bitterness
I like to brag to my kids that back in the early 90's, I worked outside in -30-degree weather. Awesome humblebrag, huh? I didn't walk to school uphill both ways, so this is my version of miserable suffering my kids need to know, anytime they get mad at me when the wi-fi doesn't work for … Continue reading World Building Bitterness
The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Being a man of the modern age, I am quite fond of power. Not the kind of power that allows you to lord over people, no. I'm much fonder of the kind of power that lights my house and runs my internet. When I first moved to Seattle, I only envisioned a few things. I … Continue reading The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Bitter Writer’s Strike
When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike
John Wick Training BFG’s
Last night it was all about the speed. Not the drug that makes you hyper, weirdos. Not Lightning McQueen either. I'm talking about Speed, the cool movie with Keanu Reeves. The one that launched Sandra Bullock's career. If you think Sandra Bullock's career is impressive, then take her career, multiply it by a cool factor … Continue reading John Wick Training BFG’s
Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
If you are a fan of NBA basketball, you just saw the Sacramento Kings break a playoff drought of 17 years. If you want to feel old, that was 2006. To me, that seems like just yesterday, but to my daughter, that was a time she doesn't remember, because she was only 1. And my … Continue reading Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
50 Reasons to Be Bitter
Since I'm 50 years bitter today, I'm supposed to be having my mid-life crisis, but since we all know that I'm not making it to 100, that means I'm well past my mid-life crisis and should have had it a while ago. But since nobody really tells you when this life is over, it's not … Continue reading 50 Reasons to Be Bitter
The Bitter Corruption Industry
Ten years ago, I was living in Seattle at the peak of my misery. If you've lived in Seattle, you know there is only two seasons. One lasts 11 and a half months and it's cloudy, cold, rainy, wet and windy. The other two weeks, the sun vacationed in Seattle, but it was only for … Continue reading The Bitter Corruption Industry
Ben's Bitter Blog 