Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Humor
My Hostage Demands
There are a lot of things that I am, but one of the things I'm not is a demanding person. If you are a customer service rep, you want my name to pop up on your caller ID, because this is going to be an easy call. If you are my family, you know I … Continue reading My Hostage Demands
Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
A long time ago, in a land not so far away, 3 other guys and I did a not-planned-very-well-at-all day trip to a canyon, in which they decided to be dumb and drive down into ravine in early May. In the location of which I speak, it was a steep climb back up and snow … Continue reading Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
Potemkin Village Bitterness
When I graduated from college in 1998, I started working as a junior copywriter for a Fortune 500 company. At least that was what was supposed to happen, according to the movies. Unfortunately, I didn't go to Harvard, MIT, or even the lowly Yale. If you aren't related to a Rockefeller, a Gates or a … Continue reading Potemkin Village Bitterness
Enter the Matrix BFG’s
The other day I decided to do something really different at work. After listening to another podcast about why I am dying at slow death every day from sitting too much, I stood up, and walked away from my desk. It wasn't for very long, of course, but enough to actually make a journey to … Continue reading Enter the Matrix BFG’s
Eleven Year Bitterversary
It was 1998 and I was bored, so I went to watch a mediocre movie, Mortal Kombat. Since cell phones barely existed back then, I passed the time by staring at the movie poster. When I looked closer, I saw a string of letters at the bottom, which piqued my curiousity. It was something like, … Continue reading Eleven Year Bitterversary
Rated I BFG’s
There was a Tik Tok trending on the worldwide spider web this week. When I saw it, I had to question if it was real or a real good troll. A nanny in charge of two kids was trying to keep track of where the kids were. She couldn't get ahold of the girl, so … Continue reading Rated I BFG’s
Everything is Merging Bitterness
Star Date: December 15, 1984. I don't remember many days in my life. I remember a few of my birthday's and occasionally I remember the day I got married. Sometimes, I remember my kid's births, but beyond that, I don't remember many days. Most of them just merge together. But December 15, 1984 was one … Continue reading Everything is Merging Bitterness
A/B itter Testing BFG’s
When I was young, I had a really diverse palate. I ate mushed up peas, carrots, bananas and even apples. My mom fooled me into believing that they tasted good by using a deceptive trick she called airplane mode. She would maneuver a spoonful of yucky tasting crushed up carrots in an airplane motion to … Continue reading A/B itter Testing BFG’s
There’s something in your Feed Bitterness
It has been an egg-cellent couple of months. Please DO NOT confuse egg-cellent with excellent. The last few months have been horrific because as you know, there has been a giant increase in the price of eggs. Since I'm not a vegetarian or vegan and I don't have bad taste, I eat a lot of … Continue reading There’s something in your Feed Bitterness
AI Got Played BFG’s
I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am a master manipulator. Not so much people, but words. My craft is about placing a letter here, a word there, and misdirect over there, and all of a sudden people are crying, mobs are raging, and everyone is becoming more bitter. I like to … Continue reading AI Got Played BFG’s
Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
I have no balance in my life, and it's my right leg's fault. When I was in junior high, whenever I wanted to participate in a sport, I had to get the yearly physical. Junior high was already the worst and most embarrassing and humiliating part of my life. The physical was just the cherry … Continue reading Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
The Bitter Cure BFG’s
I have a really low opinion of doctor's, which I why I've spent most of my life avoiding them. It blows my mind that a person spends so much time in school learning how to help sick people, and how useless they are at helping sick people. It would be more helpful if they skipped … Continue reading The Bitter Cure BFG’s
Center of the Universe
Thanks to a lot of cartoons I watched when I was young, I know way more about the universe than scientists. I learned from highly literary sources such as He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Transformers, and of course, the Superfriends. I learned that there is definitely intelligent life out there and it isn't … Continue reading Center of the Universe
Rewiring my Brain BFG’s
In my favorite series of all time, Video Game High School, there is an episode where Brian has to practice disarming a bomb for his upcoming video game match. He had always been exceptional at disarming bombs, but this particular week, he was distracted and disarmed by a girl he liked, so he lost his … Continue reading Rewiring my Brain BFG’s
Bitter Reward Systems
Back in 2008, Horton Hears a Who came out and it made medium waves in the movie universe. Which is weird, because all it did was star Jim Carrey and Steve Carell. Just for those two alone, it should have been a life changing movie for almost everyone. However, for most people, it went in … Continue reading Bitter Reward Systems
The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
The Gym hasn't been working out, which is ironic, because the gym wants everyone else to workout. (Holding for applause on my dad joke...aaaand back to the post.) My wife likes to make fun of me, because I have all these routines and when she sidetracks them, I get a little cranky and bitter. I … Continue reading The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
Mediocrates Bitterness
I didn't get a proper education growing up in South Dakota, because my English teachers forgot to teach me about the Greek Gods. I never learned about the Italian Gods (my favorite Italian God is Little Caeser), or the Brazilian Gods either. If it wasn't for video games and TV, I never would have known … Continue reading Mediocrates Bitterness
Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Most people have no idea what they want to do as a career in life, even well into college and even after graduating. That wasn't true with me. I decided in 7th grade. I was in a Social Studies class and our teacher made us do an assignment to figure out our careers. I guarantee … Continue reading Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
You have no idea how much of a burden I carry on a daily basis. My brain is constantly full because I only have capacity for 20 Gigs of information, but it is full of really bad ideas. I have to have an external drive to put all the bad ideas. I put a lot … Continue reading Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
Ben's Bitter Blog 