Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures

I've had a few jobs in my days as a person. The first one I had was a back yard maintenance crewperson for a Midwestern bank executive and his wife. They provided room and board from ages 0 to 18. Sometimes they would pay me $10 for the lawn mowing. Sometimes they would hug me, … Continue reading Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures

Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures

I was one of the last people to watch a movie in a theater before the pandemic thing started 5 years ago. I remember it so clearly, because it was March 13th, maybe a couple of days after the NBA shut down. It was on Friday the 13th and the theater had maybe 6 people … Continue reading Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures

The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes

It's weird how when I was growing up, I didn't hear much about illnesses other than colds, flus and maybe typhoid fever. Probably because as a kid, I hadn't started a job, had kids myself, or learned about debt, taxes and death. But as soon as I started experiencing real stress, like making sure I … Continue reading The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes

Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures

The road trip movie is a standard Hollywood movie right of passage. Besides a couple of exceptions, (Vacation, Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber) they are pretty formulaic and kind of an excuse for terrible and absurd things to happen. Then at the end of the horrific trip, the participants are supposed to have learned something … Continue reading Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures

Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures

For all six of you who follow me regularly, you might have noticed that I was MIA last week. That's because I was sequestered by my company to go on a long business trip. You might think that it would have been a fun trip because I was flying first class with hot towel and … Continue reading Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures

Masterclass Bitter Friday Giftures

You know that college is pretty useless right? Don't believe me? Just take a look at just two examples I have, both in my own family, and I will prove it. (Isn't that what science teaches us? That we have to prove things?) First example is me. I went dutifully for 5 years to college. … Continue reading Masterclass Bitter Friday Giftures

Pain in the Neck Bitter Friday Giftures

My neck has done some heavy lifting throughout my life. And not by choice. By obligation. It's connected my low functioning brain connected to rest of me. It's done a lot of swiveling back and forth between two computer screens and been pushed back and forth on roller coasters. It's been shaved thousands of time … Continue reading Pain in the Neck Bitter Friday Giftures

48 Things I’m Bitter About

Mirrors are such liars. I wake up every morning knowing that I am handsome and funny like Steve Carell, but as soon as I look in the mirror, I see this strange, weird, bitter older looking guy. So they are pretty useless and bad liars. It's this time of year, that I finally realize that … Continue reading 48 Things I’m Bitter About

April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures

Other than the my birthday and Christmas, April Fool's Day is probably my favorite day of the year. It was especially awesome back in the day when the company I worked for had year end on March 31st, which meant we often had to stay until really late pretending to work or something. So the … Continue reading April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter Book Bitterness

Recently, I did a blog post about the fact that I've been blogging for 9 years now. Which seems crazy, because I barely have the attention span of a gnat. This blog is older than most gnats. Except for that gnat that looks like Prince Phillip. You might think that I've done nothing else in … Continue reading Bitter Book Bitterness

Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures

Why do you think March Madness the ultimate time of year for so many people? Well, some say it is for college basketball. You know, the crazy upsets, the buzzer beaters and the nail biting games. Or it could be the one-in-a-million shot that you could accidentally fill out a Final Four bracket in your … Continue reading Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures

My Bitter Blog is a 4th Grader

Interruption in the beginning of the blog because nobody reads past the first sentence. I will be making a big announcement on this blog on Friday. Now, back to the beginning of the blog post. Technically, this blog started 48 years ago, when my dad and mom looked at each other and said "Okay, I … Continue reading My Bitter Blog is a 4th Grader

Download Bitter Friday Giftures

We are all downloading something these days. Sometimes it takes a long time, other times just a second or two, depending on the speed of your connection and how big the download is. Some of them take up a whole lot of your hard drive space, and others just a tiny little bit. Back in … Continue reading Download Bitter Friday Giftures

Pillow Bitter Friday Giftures

I cannot sleep! Yesterday during my typical 3 pm lull, I was struggling to doze off. As a late 40's guy, I've never struggled to get at least 15 winks here and there at the computer, while pretending to do work, but lately it's been a struggle bus. It would be easy to blame things … Continue reading Pillow Bitter Friday Giftures

Headphone Bitter Friday Giftures

I've always been a big advocate of people leaving me alone. One of my best defenses against people talking to me was this marvelous invention called headphones. When people see them on me, they should assume that I am listening to something of utmost importance, even if I'm only listening to a goofy podcast, or … Continue reading Headphone Bitter Friday Giftures

Racing Trains Bitter Friday Giftures

Remember the end of the original The Fast and the Furious movie where Vin Diesel and Paul Walker were racing and they were being chased by the cops? They ended up racing against a train and barely avoided getting hit by it. Well, you can now call me the Fast and the Bitter. Well, that … Continue reading Racing Trains Bitter Friday Giftures

Cartoonish Behavior Bitter Friday Giftures

Last week I talked about when I was a kid and how people were always trying to get me to go play more sports. I guess sports were supposed to teach me about getting in shape, working with a bunch of other people and following rules or something. As you can see, all those things … Continue reading Cartoonish Behavior Bitter Friday Giftures

Come out and Play Bitter Friday Giftures

When I was in 3rd and 4th grade, I was a fairly athletic and yet very lazy person. The neighborhood kids at my school always wanted to play football after school and would call a bunch of people to come play. When I was done with school all I wanted to do was come home … Continue reading Come out and Play Bitter Friday Giftures