Bitter Thank you’s

Sometimes I like to cry bitter tears because of the stupid books, movies and TV shows that actually get made or published. Like I could walk through a room and pull 15 ideas out of a hat that would be more intelligent. Any reality show on TLC or Fox sound like they were made by … Continue reading Bitter Thank you’s

Advertisements

Prescription Drug Bitterness

I just read the other day that there are only two countries in the world that allow prescription drugs to be advertised on television and one of those is the Good Ole USA.  I have to say that I feel bad for the rest of the world because you guys are missing out on something … Continue reading Prescription Drug Bitterness

We got robbed Bitter Giftures of the week

  You know the feeling, whether it is when you are up for a raise or if your favorite team loses on a terrible call by the refs. Getting robbed is a way of life and it happens all the time, especially when you expect something to happen and you always want justice to prevail. … Continue reading We got robbed Bitter Giftures of the week

A Bitter Journey Deep in the Forest

While chilling on my stay at home vacation yesterday, my kids prodded me into waking up from my three hour nap to go outside. Ugh, fine, I said. I did my best to pretend to be a good dad, so when they asked that I throw the Frisbee around, I grudgingly agreed, despite the bitterness … Continue reading A Bitter Journey Deep in the Forest

A Bitter Firmware Upgrade

We use these things everyday. We do our taxes with them, we do boring spreadsheets with them, we work on them and we play games on them. We commit fraud with them, hack into other peoples bank accounts with them. We steal identities, make bad art with them, write terrible blog posts on them, become … Continue reading A Bitter Firmware Upgrade

#ANALLHASTAGPOSTTOMAKEYOURMONDAYBITTER

#Ithinkthetitlesaysitallsoifyouwanttogetoffthetrainrightnowhereisyourchance #ifnotyoucancontinuetoreadthisridiculouspost #ifyouwerelookingforawaytomakeyourmondaymorningbitteryou'vecometotherightplace #whywouldIdosomethingsostupid? #firstofallmondaysaretheworstandyouneedapostthatmatchesthebitternessoftheday #secondwhydotheycallthemhashtagswhentheyarepoundsigns #thirdwhydopeoplethinkthesethingsaresoimportantonfacebookinstagramandtwitter #whydopeoplethinkthataddingasuperlonghashtagtoaphotowillgetthemmoreviews #maybeitsbecauseitworksifyouhavetherighthashtag #ormaybeifyourpicturesucksoryourtweetsucksoryoufacesucksitdoesn'tmatterwhatyourhashtagis #regardlesshashtagsseemprettyuselesstomeespeciallywhentheyarelongandboringliketheseonesare #theyaregimmickyexceptwhenthereisactuallysomethingbehindthehashtag #likeabignamewithsomefameoracontroversywithoutsomemercy #haveIannoyedyouenoughyetwiththisinsanelygratiatingandannoyinghashtagpost #orareyoureadyformore #forallyouknowimjustthrowinggobblydegookonthispostandmakingupsomestupidwords #ifyouhaven'tgottenbitterbynowyouareprobablyamillenialasocialmediaaddictorariddlesolvingbatmanorbatwoman #letshopethishasn'tgivensomeofyoudepressionanxietyorconiptions #ormadeyouwanttopunchyourcomputerorphonescreens #orcauseyoutohittheunfollowbuttonbecauseyou'vefinallyhadenoughofthis #butifithascausedyoutowanttopunchaholeintheuniverse #youarenotalone #hashtagsalsomakemewanttohitatweetintheface #soafteryoureadthisletusneverspeakofthisagain #andlet'sneverdohashtagsagainunlesstheystartmakingusmillionaires #orbecomesupergeniuses #orfindthemeaningoflife #whichistofindourinnerbitternessforourselves #andshareitwithotherpeople #sothattheworldwillbeamorebitterplace #perhapsthemostimportanthashtagyouwilltakeawayfromthispost #ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH #bitterhashtagben

Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sitting vs. Standing

Laying down on the couch is what we all fight for. It's what we live and breathe for unless we are one of those weirdos who likes to live an active lifestyle or who craves being exhausted all the time. No matter what you do in life, admit that you do it all because deep … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sitting vs. Standing

Juxta positioning Bitter Friday Giftures

  Positioning is everything. Whether it is what position you are in line for a concert, what position you are in during a basketball game, what position you hold in a company, or position you are in traffic. The way your day goes, could be solely based on what position you sit in the company. … Continue reading Juxta positioning Bitter Friday Giftures

Superpowers I would mess up

It's inevitable. Whether you like it or not, Superhero movies are here to stay and they aren't going anywhere. Once the comic book Titans figured out that the stories inside their nerdy pages could be made into less nerdy movies that make tons of nerdy money at the box office, the comic book train of … Continue reading Superpowers I would mess up

The Enemy Zone

I may never have been in jail, but that doesn't mean I have never been in prison. And while in prison everyone needs to learn how to fight. But before we discuss the fighting, let's first talk about how we get in prison. Everyone has been there before. We are happily dwelling in this zone. … Continue reading The Enemy Zone

The Bitterness of the Asterisk

You probably think you work hard because you work like 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. You are definitely right. That is way too much work. As I've spoken about before I think 3 1/2 days a week is enough. Why should work be done on more than 50% of our weeks. … Continue reading The Bitterness of the Asterisk

Fight the Power Friday Giftures

  I've always fancied myself to be a bit of a rebel. Not an outward rebel that fights against society or wears hipster clothes, but a subtle shake of the fist in the air when other people aren't looking. Like when someone tells me I shouldn't eat pizza every Friday, or that we should love … Continue reading Fight the Power Friday Giftures

Bitter Office Scavenger Hunt

You know how when you are at the office and you are playing work Dodgeball by trying to avoid co-workers at all costs? But the moment you need them they are not around? Probably because you avoid them at all costs and they don't want to be around you, but that's besides the point? Well, … Continue reading Bitter Office Scavenger Hunt

Mister Matched Presents the Troglodyte’s Victor Secret’s Bitter Carpet Show

They say that clothes make the man. Yeah, they make the man bitter. I guess I understand the need to wear them, but why does it have to be so complicated? Why did someone way back in the day make it necessary to have rules of fashion? Like things are supposed to match. Certain colors … Continue reading Mister Matched Presents the Troglodyte’s Victor Secret’s Bitter Carpet Show

An ode to my Mother

You know how today is Mother's Day? And you know how you are supposed to shower not only so you don't smell and she doesn't faint from your odor, but also shower her with gifts and compliments and praise today and then take her for granted the rest of the year? Well, I'm not gonna … Continue reading An ode to my Mother

Sitting Down on the Friday Giftures

Not all the time, but sometimes when I'm coming up with ideas for the subject of my Friday Giftures, I ask my son to give me a word, any word. He will throw out some obvious ones, like bitter or whatever book he is reading at the time, and I deny him several times until … Continue reading Sitting Down on the Friday Giftures

Wake up WordPressians!

I hate to say it, but I actually don't really. I think I need to get some of those resuscitation paddles and yell, "Clear"! I don't know if I need to pump you full of some adrenaline, or lace your caffeine with more caffeine, or shine a bright light in your face, or get a … Continue reading Wake up WordPressians!

Bitter Running Commentary

If you're an introvert like me, you probably have a dialogue going on in your head a vast majority of the time. The information highway in your brain has flying cars and runaway trains going 350 mph, above the speed limit. Every once in a while, your brain officer pulls over one of these thoughts … Continue reading Bitter Running Commentary

Walking the Bitter Plank

  I get most of my information about the world either from the Today show(but only at 8 am - 8:20 am during my morning break), Twitter, my wife's Facebook, (I don't get much from mine, because lack of Facebook friends, or ones that spread gossip like butter on bitter.) or sports talk radio.  If … Continue reading Walking the Bitter Plank