Some people I know like to build Legos. Or rebuild engines. Or fix computers. Or put together furniture. Or mend relationships. For some reason, when they do these things, they think it brings some sort of order to the universe. It doesn't. What they don't know is that it brings something evil screaming into the … Continue reading The Bitter Owner’s Manual
bitterness
Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room. I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let's Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they … Continue reading Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Clothes need to start doing more
Smart phones are useful because they do like more than one thing. They actually do like 3 things. They text (with your permission, of course) they run apps, and they run the internet like a mini-boss. If you have a cool smart phone and don't depend on it to ignore people on a regular basis, you … Continue reading Clothes need to start doing more
How to Have a Super Bitter Bowl
Hello from Seattle, where in a days time, the whole city will be rioting. Either because the Seahawks won the Super Bowl, or because they didn't. Or they because the grass is too green in the downtown parks or because the mandatory 5th break per hour isn't being honored by the union, or because some … Continue reading How to Have a Super Bitter Bowl
Bitter Sell Out Giftures
It's Friday, which means we can start talking about what makes us bitter through little moving pictures. As you might now, the Super Bowl is coming up. I guess I could avoid this thing that is annoying me by just turning the station, but in the last week, I think I've only heard like zero … Continue reading Bitter Sell Out Giftures
Bittermunity
Wanna know why I'm your least favorite blogger? Because I'm around. ALLLL the time. I'm clogging up valuable space on the internet that you could be using for trees, or pictures of your kids, or YouTube. All day on YouTube and the video would move so much faster, if it wasn't for this guy that … Continue reading Bittermunity
Bitteruptions
Today is the bitter equivalent of the best day of the year. It is the first Tuesday AFTER the holidays in which everyone (or at least everyone I know) took two or three weeks off of work and are now having to return to the realities of school, work and all kinds of bitter … Continue reading Bitteruptions
Bitter Comments and Commenter of the Year
Bitter comments are a necessary part of this blog because it is a way that I can get down on a more personal level with the people. This is a way I can tell a person one on one why they in particular should be bitter and how I can mentor them in more bitter … Continue reading Bitter Comments and Commenter of the Year
Bitter Christmas Music
First of all, I want to say to all those out there that are not working this week, because your jobs are awesome and they let you have this week off, or you are a teacher and they "make" you stay home for two weeks, or you are just going to "call in sick" for … Continue reading Bitter Christmas Music
Bitter Obsessions
After doing extensive research, I've found that people are too busy to read the internet and blogs right now because they are too busy celebrating the holidays. Words are too hard to read and pictures are like a thousand words each, so there certainly isn't time for that. So, I'm bitter about it, but I'm keeping this short … Continue reading Bitter Obsessions
Lost Blog posts
There are a few routes I take everyday, that I can do them by instinct. Work to home, I've got memorized. Work to Pizza, I know that by heartburn. Couch to kitchen I can do in my sleepwalk. But when it comes to going from home to work or home to the hardware store or … Continue reading Lost Blog posts
The Bitter Scents of the Season
It's finally December, which as you know, means that it is finally time for awesome characters to come out of the woodwork, like Scrooge and the Grinch stealing Christmas and all kinds of evil villains in movies, like Boss who makes you stay late on Christmas Eve and Boyfriend who is a little too into … Continue reading The Bitter Scents of the Season
Black Friday Giftures
It's Black Friday and nothing says Black Friday like greed. Black hearted rage, mixed with savings only 6 people will actually ever get, combined with angry, crazy people in a race for pole position for a chance at a ticket that may or may not get you into the room of a store … Continue reading Black Friday Giftures
Lost in The Future – Disney Studios Edition
There's been all kinds of things written about the future. I don't know if you know or care, but when Back to the Future came out in 1985, 30 years in the future was 2015. Back to Future got some of those things right and some way off. No the Cubs still haven't won a … Continue reading Lost in The Future – Disney Studios Edition
Make a walk for the border of Friday Giftures
You know, there are all kinds of people running around these days. The 5K's are almost unlimited in scope from tough mudder's to color runs, to neon runs to running in your undies to the zombie runs to even Krispy Kreme runs. Then there are night runs, early morning runs, runs to the grossery store, … Continue reading Make a walk for the border of Friday Giftures
Bitter Ben’s Book’s for Bitter Beginners
I work with a bunch of babies all day. Children. Whiny Brats. They cry all day, and need to be fed and given attention all the time. Any time they need something they ring and I'm supposed to answer. This makes me fully qualified to write bitter things about them. Along with being a bunch … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Book’s for Bitter Beginners
I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures
Apparently there is a movement among the young people of the world, particularly the high school aged ones that are having a hard time comprehending how they can even... Not sure what they can't even...Is it that they have to walk uphill both ways to school? Or is that they have to get up at … Continue reading I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures
All in one Bitterness Device
I've noticed lately that I'm not quite reaching all the people that I want to. I don't know if Bitterness is dying just as much as leaves on all the trees around here, but it seems like this time of year, should bring bitterness about, not cause it to go into hibernation. I looked … Continue reading All in one Bitterness Device
Surefire ways to get people to annoy you
I love advice. I can't wait to hear it, swish it around like a fine glass of water, let it sink deep down into my soul, allow it to be knocked around inside my head, then ignore it completely. So please give it to me. I want all the advices. Let me know all about … Continue reading Surefire ways to get people to annoy you
The Land of the Lost Bitter Posts – The Disney Chronicles
Hey Bitter Stalkers! I've got a really bitter true story to tell you. When I graduated from high school (don't laugh, bitter people graduate too. Cause teachers want them gone, duh!) I got a senior trip because my parents didn't want to get me a car. So I decided to go to Cincinnati, because I'm … Continue reading The Land of the Lost Bitter Posts – The Disney Chronicles
Ben's Bitter Blog 