I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures

The Little Engine Literally Couldn't Even Either.

The Little Engine Literally Couldn’t Even Either.

Apparently there is a movement among the young people of the world, particularly the high school aged ones that are having a hard time comprehending how they can even… Not sure what they can’t even…Is it that they have to walk uphill both ways to school? Or is that they have to get up at 5 am to deliver papers in 4 feet of snow every morning? Or that they have to milk the cows every morning and evening? Or is it that they have to work a full time job and go to school and have a huge list of chores when they get home? Or is it that their mortgage is behind, and their kids are crying because they don’t have any food or water?  Or is really because the barista spelled their name “Sindea” Cindy on their coffee sleeve, or their favorite nail polish blushing berry red is out at Target and they can’t even go to Walmart to get it.  (Actually, I don’t blame them for not wanting to go to Walmart.)  Let’s just say it is Friday and I can’t even…

I can’t even…

...same old song and twerk.

…do the same old song and twerk.


It’s Friday and I can’t even…

...wait until lunch.

…wait until lunch.


I can’t even…

...wait to go swimming.

…wait to go swimming.


I can’t even…

...get my own pizza.

…get my own pizza.


I can’t even…

...eat those fries.

…eat those fries.


I can’t even…

...make a milkshake with 2% milk.

…make a milkshake with only 2% milk.


I can’t even…

...stand the traffic today.

…stand the traffic today.


I can’t even…

...wait for this heart attack to happen.

…wait for this heart attack to happen.


I can’t even…

...jump today.

…jump today.


I can’t even…


…believe the volleyball is magnetized.


I can’t even…

...make a shot today.

…make a shot today.


I can’t even…

...win a game of dodgeball.

…win a game of dodge ball.


I can’t even…

...do this anymore.

…do this anymore.


I’m out.


Bitter Can’t Even Ben

78 thoughts on “I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. In addition to the ‘I can’t even’, I’ve also recently heard people say ‘whatevs’. Like mustering up the ‘er’ to complete the word is just too much to handle??? And yes, these people were considerably younger than me…
    Feeling old, (and a bit bitter).


  2. I can’t even…believe how long it’s been since I left you a bitter comment.

    Seriously, I haven’t even seen the new layout until now. Shame, shame on me. But it looks good!

    Hope you have a bitterly good Friday.


    • I know Tiff! It has been a while since we hatched up the evil plan to start Chaos! At least we have a twitter account and a logo! And at least two followers, you and me. I was thinking about doing a post about start my own Con, called bittercon, but I bet an evilcon would be a great thing to start. What do you think? People would do cosplay, dressing up as their favorite villains? Call it Chaoscon?


      • Oh my goodness, I know. Maybe evil Santa should bring more advances in the Chaos campaign. BitterCon would be pretty epic. An EvilCon would be awesome though….a gathering all about villainy and dastardly deeds…hosted by Chaos, of course. It could be the start of something big. Just call it EvilCon…(or maybe work on that name later) Chaos would just be the host. Yes, I think this is brilliant…


        • We need to hire someone to work for Chaos that will execute all our ideas, since we are the idea people. Who do you think will be a good little minion that will work for free and not complain at all while we demad they execute all our ideas?


        • I’ll have to think about that one. Probably someone who spends all their time on the internet anyway, who has lots of spare time because they probably don’t have a job. (they would be working for us, of course). Let me consider…


  3. LOL, those are fabulous. No matter how bad my day gets at least I can say I haven’t stepped in man hole or tried to use myself like a human basketball. Of course the day is still young, perhaps I shouldn’t be so hasty…


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