Bitter Sell Out Giftures

It’s Friday, which means we can start talking about what makes us bitter through little moving pictures.  As you might now, the Super Bowl is coming up.  I guess I could avoid this thing that is annoying me by just turning the station, but in the last week, I think I’ve only heard like zero seconds worth of commercials not about tickets to the Super Bowl.  I don’t know if these ticket selling people know this already, but the highest seats in the house (known as where I always sit if I go to a game) cost about $3000.  And out of the 60,000 seats or so that are available, about 50,000 are taken by the media, friends and entourage of the players, and dignitaries and actors who are abusing their power to get a free ticket.  That leaves approximately 2 open seats if my math is correct.  Who exactly are they marketing these seats to? The two people that already took the remaining seats? Unless someone wins a ticket from the Betty Crocker’s make your best Deflated Football cake to win tickets to the Super Bowl (get the marketing tie in, bowl?) the stadium is sold out.  Just like I would sell this blog’s integrity out if anyone ever offered me any kind of money. Here is some Friday Gifture Bitter Sellouts:

 

Someone from Rayban told this all he had to do was wear sunglasses all day…

...

…and they’d pay him and he’s like, “Oakley”

 

“I don’t wanna play with her!” “I’ll give you five dollars if you play with her…

...

…”Get in, girl. We’re driftin…”

 

“Mom, I’m not wrestling that kid. He’s so weird…” I’ll pay you after the match.”

sdf

…How long do you want me to drag him?

 

“No way I’m riding that thing.” “I’ll pay you 10 bucks.”

sdfdf

“So grab right here then?”

 

“Are you afraid of snakes?” “Nah.” 

d

“How about lizards?”

 

“Bro, all you gotta do is ride on that log and I’ll give you the bike..”

dsf

“Did it.  In you face…mmmgngn.”

 

“If you can score a goal on this guy, I’ll give you a million bucks.”

d

“GOOOOOAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!”

 

“Dude, all you have to do is jump off this short ramp…

dfd

…off this Grand Canyon.”

 

“I know he’s your best man, but I’ll give you $100….

...

…if you nail him with the cork.”

 

“Dude, you just won the lottery…

d

…oh wait whoops.  One number off.”

 

Did you say you bet your house on that horse to win the Triple Crown…

...

…you might wanna leave town.

 

Imana just go…

...

…lay in my tent. 

 

Speaking of selling out..I know some of you haven’t voted for me to get second place in this made up popularity contest called the 2015 Blog Award thingy.  Now I’m going to blatantly ask for you to vote for me. You can vote for me here, under the Bitterest Blog of the Year and Least Humorous category.  I’ll totally let you swim in my Scrouge McDuck vault of pennies. And I won’t tell anyone that you voted for your own blog either. Come on.  Be a sellout, just like the rest of us.  Everyone is doing it.

ARRRRGGGHHHH

Bitter Sellout Ben

 

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24 thoughts on “Bitter Sell Out Giftures

  1. I am very bitter that football even exists. One of the worst nights of my life was when I was forced to go to a Super Bowl party at the home of my husbands boss. There I was stuck with a bunch of geeky scientists all night. I was forced to stand in the kitchen and eat 14,000 baby carrots with ranch dressing until it was time to go home. That was my last Super Bowl experience.

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    • Football has ruined the lives of many people. I know some ladies who are football widows and only see their husbands arise from the grave until after football season. Also lots of people who gamble on it, who lose everything.

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  2. Oh what a great way to start the weekend. Ben, I have decided not to go to the game. I’d miss the Super Bowl commercials way too much . That, and I could not raise the cash for a ticket. Not that that would matter much, since all the hotels jacking their prices up made it impossible anyway. No money left for the flight.

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    • Yeah. All the local Seahawks fans are crying about it. I get blitzed with stupid people yelling Sea-hawks, and wearing the gear every Friday, when I only care about them marginally enough when they win and not the havoc and traffic they cause after every game.

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