My patheticness, sorry I mean, my apatheticness toward reading started at a really young age. My mom took special care to not read to me every night, because she had an infinitely more important child that she had to make a success. My sister was always more important to my parents, so of course, they … Continue reading Blog Burning BFG’s
comedy
Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Besides the fact that I'm so dynamic, handsome and funny, one of the biggest reasons why wife decided to marry me is because I'm so adventurous. For instance, I will venture off the couch and take out the garbage. Sometimes I'll eat a stuff crusted pepperoni instead of a regular crusted pepperoni pizza. It is … Continue reading Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Invisibility Cloaking
I love roller coasters. They have their ups and downs though. So does this blog. Oh, I'm so sorry for using a dad joke, since you know, I'm a dad. Besides, you should be used to them around here. If you don't like them, you're free to read another really crappy blog that talks about … Continue reading Invisibility Cloaking
Original Programming BFG’s
I was born in the 70's, but grew up in the 80's. I'm not sure if you could compare the 80's to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV's and movies. For every great program that came out of the … Continue reading Original Programming BFG’s
Making Traitor’s BFG’s
While I lived in South Dakota from 3rd grade until high school, my family went through an existential crisis of living in LA and NY. I don't remember much of New York, but I also went through an existential crisis when I lived there. It was called "enjoying baseball". The baseball brainwashing started when I … Continue reading Making Traitor’s BFG’s
Witness Protection Bitterness
When I was a kid, other kids were always asking me to play sports with them. As an early bitterness adopter, I tried my darndest to ignore these little same-aged cretins. But my mother always insisted that I go play with these weirdos, (probably because she wanted me to leave her alone) even though something … Continue reading Witness Protection Bitterness
Only In Dreams BFG’s
I once read something. I know, you're probably shaking your head in disbelief and probably laughing to yourself. You're probably at work, with your headphone on, trying to focus on the task at hand, but a little laugh is swelling inside you. It's probably reminding you of a recent Tik Tok you saw of a … Continue reading Only In Dreams BFG’s
Energy Monster BFG’s
In the beginning, I liked Superhero movies. The whole appeal was imagining what I could do with superpowers. For instance, what would I do with super strength, super speed, or the ability to fly? Of course, if I had them, I wouldn't use them to save people, nor would I use them for evil. That … Continue reading Energy Monster BFG’s
Heads Up BFG’s
Like, the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, I've always been looking for my brain. It's there, I know, but it always seems to betray in my moment of need. Sure, it keeps me alive, is the central hub for figuring out how to walk, talk, breathe and how to write scorchingly funny, yet deeply … Continue reading Heads Up BFG’s
Framing BFG’s
Since I like having 4 walls and a roof above my head, I've had to work for a living most of my life. Much like many of you, I haven't worked the same job my whole life, so I've had a variety of jobs. One summer I worked a construction job, and another time I … Continue reading Framing BFG’s
Doc Awkward BFG
I spent my Christmas vacation like I spend all my time. Being disappointed. Disappointed that I couldn't find any awesome gifts to give myself. Disappointed that my family wanted to be around me, despite the fact that I'm no fun to be around. But the biggest disappointment was that I wasn't able to watch more … Continue reading Doc Awkward BFG
Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Growing up in California, one of my earliest memories was when I was 5. My mom made me and my brother some capes made out of felt and a little buckle to fasten around our necks. I, of course, was Superman, because he could fly and my brother was Batman, because he liked brooding in … Continue reading Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
The reason why Community is my second favorite show, is 1: because of the writing, but two because it reminds of me of my juvenile college years (though some would say I'm still in my juvenile years). They are always up to some crazy highjinks, like paintball or playing a video games to earn inheritances. … Continue reading Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
Black Friday BFG’s
Most people think of Thanksgiving as a day for gratitude. Gratitude for family, for a place to live or gas that doesn't cost an arm, leg, shoulder or a kneecap. You think the turkey got carved up yesterday? Not as much as I did just trying to drive four hours to my parent's house. And … Continue reading Black Friday BFG’s
How to Appear Smart BFG
A little side note before we start. Yes, I'm the first person to do a side note at the beginning of a post. Excuuuse me. I'm extremely sorry about this. I've been typing Bitter Friday Giftures at the end of my titles for every Friday Giftures for 9 years now. No longer. It's simply going … Continue reading How to Appear Smart BFG
Abandastanded Bitter Friday Giftures
Last night I was playing my favorite video game, Gears of War. While many look at it as just another shooter, the ones who really know, the theme is Brothers (and sisters) to the End. Meaning you grow to love the squadmates you fight with and you never leave them behind. I often play with … Continue reading Abandastanded Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Tomatoes Friday Giftures
Last night I was on Tik Tok, which of course is where I get all my information and inspiration. I saw a Tik Tok yesterday that caught my attention. If you go on Tik Tok a lot like I do, you probably notice a lot of "couples comedy". A lot of them do pranks, which … Continue reading Bitter Tomatoes Friday Giftures
Free Speech Bitter Friday Giftures
Some people would say that I'm a bit of a hermit. Others would call me offputting, and still others would say that I can't stand other people, other people's kids, kids or humans. Some people would even say that I wear headphones almost all the time in order to avoid talking to people. To those … Continue reading Free Speech Bitter Friday Giftures
Epic Music Bitterness
I can count on my fingers and maybe one set of my toes the amount of extraordinary days I've had in my life. And even those extraordinary days had a lot of ordinaryness. My wedding day was pretty epic, but there were moments in the day where I was just taking a shower, or twiddling … Continue reading Epic Music Bitterness
Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Most of my workday is spent in a chair typing stuff on a computer. In the broad scope of things, it will end up being the most significant thing that someone has ever done for this world and for that, you should all be thanking me. The world would be a pretty cold, cruel place … Continue reading Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 