Original Programming BFG’s

I was born in the 70’s, but grew up in the 80’s. I’m not sure if you could compare the 80’s to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV’s and movies. For every great program that came out of the 80’s, Growing Pains, Facts of Life, and Knight Rider, there were other crazy shows that didn’t hit at all like Cop Rock, the Highwayman and Manimal.

The 80’s were a lot of bad things, but unoriginal it was not. It may have been a disaster in a lot of ways, but at least they felt unlike anything I had ever seen. I’ve lived in every other decade since, and it seems like they are all just a retread in a lot of ways. As much as kids today can discern between the 90’s, 2000’s, 2010’s and 2020’s, I can’t. I know some of them had different fashions, etc, but I didn’t really participate in those. I’ve been wearing sweatshirts, sweatpants and jeans ever since. So I have no idea how fashion has changed since then.

To me, TV programs are the same 4 types. Medical dramas, murder mysteries, Hallmark love stories and unfunny CBS comedies. Movies are the same too. Action/superhero movies, romantic comedies, sequels to action/superhero movies, and indie garbage that no one but critics and Hollywood producers want for Academy Awards.

You would think that someone like me would crave originality, but you would be wrong. I have no original programming. It’s like I was programmed by a robot who was programmed to program people to be like robots. I grew up in the most original decade of my lifetime and came out of the decade looking like a carbon copy of myself in the 90’s. In the 80’s I saw originality all around me, and it was like I had a bulletproof vest against any originality they tried to shoot into me. People were doing crazy things to their hair like Flock of Seagulls, Mohawks, Mullets, Flatops, and Perms, but I continued to stick with the 1 on the sides and 3 on the top. My 80’s hairstylist could have leaped to the future 4 decades and given the new stylist Bitter Ben playbook on his hairstyle.

Ask my daughter what I had for lunch, and she could tell you a little story about the exact movements I make to prepare it, what exactly is on it, and even the order in which it was eaten. If originality was a Dodgeball game, I would be on ESPN 8, the Ocho, every year as the Dodgeball champion of avoiding originality.

I started this blog almost 10 years ago, and it has changed so little, that a follower of mine from 2012, could pick right up today and probably read the same exact content they read in 2012. They would think still think they overpaid for this free content.

Luckily, I prescribe to a well-known secret that Hollywood is familiar with. Originality may be cool, but most of the time, it gets mowed down like a lawn mowers mow lawns. It doesn’t pay. Sure, being original is cool to a few fringe people (thus the indies), but originality doesn’t make any money. Why do you think you keep seeing medical dramas on every network, everyday. Because people love the predictability of seeing weird diseases get solved in 45 minutes. Marvel movies might not be original, but they do make Scrouge McDuck vaults of money.

So you keep expending all your energy on building original programming. I’ll stick with my sellout bitter repeats…Speaking of which, ready for once again, some Bitter Friday Giftures? Too bad…

Go ahead and be excited…

Excited Happy Birthday GIF
…about all your originality.

Meditate and create…

Creating Lady Gaga GIF by Apple Music
…your little vision.

Spend hours and hours…

take notes GIF by US National Archives
…on your worldbuilding.

Spend hours in the morning…

Season 8 Nbc GIF by The Office
…meditating about things.

Spend hours thinking about jokes…

shooting jon stewart GIF
…that have never been written.

Dedicate your whole life…

Ned Beatty Art GIF
…to learning different techniques about painting…

Travel the world…

…for inspiration…

Find a new…

Thank You Next Behind The Scenes GIF by Ariana Grande
…kind of fashion.

Find a new note…

enamored GIF
…that has never been discovered.

Go to space…

Tobias Funke Reaction GIF
...and try to discover a new world.

Take a picture of something…

Selfie Approval Matrix GIF by SundanceTV
…that’s never been seen before.

Or do what I do…

money copy GIF
…and copy/paste, repeat and bring that money in.

Besides, you know that there are only 7 different story types. So just pick one, be that story, paste and just be that one. Originality is for suckers and people that have way too much energy and time. The rest of us just need copy/paste so we can get something productive done during the day.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Unoriginal Programming Ben

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13 thoughts on “Original Programming BFG’s

  1. Originality is overrated– or to put a bitter spin on it, I guess it doesn’t get the ratings which is why we rarely see it. I’m glad to see that your blog is doing its bitter thing as well as, maybe better than, ever. Almost ten years you say? The demand for bitter never goes away.

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  2. I was born at the tail end of the boomers (Kennedy got assassinated months after I was born), so I grew up from the late 60s to early 80s. The bland comedy of CBS in the late 80s prompted me to watch the launch of the FOX network with some of the daring comedy programming, especially Married With Children. The last surviving spinoff from one of the original shows is The Simpsons (from The Tracey Ullman Show). That beats out several animated ABC animated TV series of the 60s for longevity (The Flintstones, Batman animated spinoff for Saturday cartoons, etc).

    Like

  3. “It’s like I was programmed by a robot who was programmed to program people to be like robots”…comedy gold – I have a sneaking suspicion that’s an original idea (the robot thing, not “sneaking suspicion” – that sh*t’s been around since…well, sh*t 😉 )

    Like

  4. I am Miss Originality and have the sash to prove it (somewhere in my imaginary world). But if I discover anyone copying and pasting my work (aka plagiarizing), I will happily sue and fill my pockets with all the money they thought they’d get to keep.

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    • I’m going to copy/paste all your work and just change a few words here and there. It’s hard for the originals to keep up with the copiers. Just look at how Americans create all this stuff and then China just makes really bad copies and gets away with stealing all our stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I was born in 60’s, grew up in 70’s. Everybody thinks the decade they grew up was creative and everything else is a repeat. Almost all the “originality” of the 80’s can be traced to cocaine.

    Liked by 1 person

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