I was born in the 70’s, but grew up in the 80’s. I’m not sure if you could compare the 80’s to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV’s and movies. For every great program that came out of the 80’s, Growing Pains, Facts of Life, and Knight Rider, there were other crazy shows that didn’t hit at all like Cop Rock, the Highwayman and Manimal.

The 80’s were a lot of bad things, but unoriginal it was not. It may have been a disaster in a lot of ways, but at least they felt unlike anything I had ever seen. I’ve lived in every other decade since, and it seems like they are all just a retread in a lot of ways. As much as kids today can discern between the 90’s, 2000’s, 2010’s and 2020’s, I can’t. I know some of them had different fashions, etc, but I didn’t really participate in those. I’ve been wearing sweatshirts, sweatpants and jeans ever since. So I have no idea how fashion has changed since then.

To me, TV programs are the same 4 types. Medical dramas, murder mysteries, Hallmark love stories and unfunny CBS comedies. Movies are the same too. Action/superhero movies, romantic comedies, sequels to action/superhero movies, and indie garbage that no one but critics and Hollywood producers want for Academy Awards.

You would think that someone like me would crave originality, but you would be wrong. I have no original programming. It’s like I was programmed by a robot who was programmed to program people to be like robots. I grew up in the most original decade of my lifetime and came out of the decade looking like a carbon copy of myself in the 90’s. In the 80’s I saw originality all around me, and it was like I had a bulletproof vest against any originality they tried to shoot into me. People were doing crazy things to their hair like Flock of Seagulls, Mohawks, Mullets, Flatops, and Perms, but I continued to stick with the 1 on the sides and 3 on the top. My 80’s hairstylist could have leaped to the future 4 decades and given the new stylist Bitter Ben playbook on his hairstyle.

Ask my daughter what I had for lunch, and she could tell you a little story about the exact movements I make to prepare it, what exactly is on it, and even the order in which it was eaten. If originality was a Dodgeball game, I would be on ESPN 8, the Ocho, every year as the Dodgeball champion of avoiding originality.

I started this blog almost 10 years ago, and it has changed so little, that a follower of mine from 2012, could pick right up today and probably read the same exact content they read in 2012. They would think still think they overpaid for this free content.

Luckily, I prescribe to a well-known secret that Hollywood is familiar with. Originality may be cool, but most of the time, it gets mowed down like a lawn mowers mow lawns. It doesn’t pay. Sure, being original is cool to a few fringe people (thus the indies), but originality doesn’t make any money. Why do you think you keep seeing medical dramas on every network, everyday. Because people love the predictability of seeing weird diseases get solved in 45 minutes. Marvel movies might not be original, but they do make Scrouge McDuck vaults of money.

So you keep expending all your energy on building original programming. I’ll stick with my sellout bitter repeats…Speaking of which, ready for once again, some Bitter Friday Giftures? Too bad…

Go ahead and be excited…

Meditate and create…

Spend hours and hours…

Spend hours in the morning…

Spend hours thinking about jokes…

Dedicate your whole life…

Travel the world…

Find a new…

Find a new note…

Go to space…

Take a picture of something…

Or do what I do…

Besides, you know that there are only 7 different story types. So just pick one, be that story, paste and just be that one. Originality is for suckers and people that have way too much energy and time. The rest of us just need copy/paste so we can get something productive done during the day.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Unoriginal Programming Ben