I've often talked about my desire to someday become a cyborg. Seriously, who wouldn't want to replace their creaky knees for something metal and mechanical that would only break down if you don't oil it enough. Replace this ailing shoulder with some hardcore vibrainium that is as hard as Captain America's sheild? Sounds good … Continue reading Bitter Part Extensions
bitterness
Maniac Monday – False Alarms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsmVgoXDq2w I was thinking about doing a new segment here on the blog and what a bitter way to start it then on this Monday when I am particularly bitter about a certain subject. But first, lemme tell you what the segment is called. Maniac Monday, of course stolen by the song by the Bangles, … Continue reading Maniac Monday – False Alarms
Contest Loser
I believe that ancestry is pretty important because you get all your traits from the DNA of the people that came before you. My parents tell me that I came from a bunch of Scottish people, which I've been told in the media are pretty bitter people. I feel for those who are born from … Continue reading Contest Loser
I’m ready to sell out
I've never been to a concert in my life. I don't know if it is because I like money, because I want to my ears to work, because no one has ever invited me to one, or be...oh yeah, it's because I hate crowds. We've already talked about my claustraphobia this week. That is one … Continue reading I’m ready to sell out
24 Hour Bitness
Most of the time, I like to spread my bitterness out a little and drink it in like a fine wine. I sniff it, move my hand up towards my face and let it linger in the air a little. Well, I should have seen it all coming because I am a medium of bitterness, … Continue reading 24 Hour Bitness
Call it a Comeback Bitter Friday Giftures
You know that expression, "nothing bad ever really goes away"? Probably not, because I just made it up. Anyways, winter is so dumb. Whoever made it up just likes to mess with people. We had a pretty mild winter, like 50 degrees most of it, until the Groundhog poked his stupid face up and … Continue reading Call it a Comeback Bitter Friday Giftures
This isn’t the Voice
I am constantly losing things. I've lost my wallet multiple times, usually when I needed it the most. Once I lost my wallet when I was at an amusement park in Cincinnati and had to have all the money so I could buy sweet souviners. I was steaming mad, but as always, it was inside … Continue reading This isn’t the Voice
Debendable Ben – The Snow MVP
I forged my bitterness in the cold snow and ice of South Dakota. I grew up there, and it wasn't a fun place, especially in the winter. I've mentioned many times on this blog, but not recently, that one time when I was in 3rd grade, it got to -80 F wind chill and they … Continue reading Debendable Ben – The Snow MVP
Blog Closed Today
In light of the events of it being too snowy, windy and cold outside and my bitterness for having to go outside and go sledding and have snowball fights, it has been determined that this blog will be closed today. If you are caught in this hideous storm, feel free to be bitter as well. … Continue reading Blog Closed Today
St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
We are all made up of a lot of different little parts of personality; well most of you are. I have been blessed with this bitter personality since I came out of my mother. Actually, probably before that. I was complaining about the tight quarters, the lack of pizza being fed through the veins and … Continue reading St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
Shiny, Happy People
Here I am stuck at work, again during the holidays. I don't know what it takes to get a gig where you get the entire holiday off scott free (I guess you have to be a teacher or a pint sized human person), but I need to figure that thing out. Maybe the whole not … Continue reading Shiny, Happy People
My Emoji’s
I've ranted on here plenty of times about critics. They always seem to trash any movie you like or want to like and often leave a poisonous taste in your mouth about something. Redbox was having a $.15 cent sale because it is their 15th anniversary last night, so I picked up what many people … Continue reading My Emoji’s
Lateness is Greatness Friday Giftures
As the regulars of this podcast know, whoops, blog know, I am always on time. Just kidding, but really I usually post in the early morning, depending on where you live. Where I live is right here and that is the most important. But you know, lateness is greatness, which is why I am … Continue reading Lateness is Greatness Friday Giftures
If People Were Named After Their Personalities Like Me
I guess I should probably tell you that I finally got a job and just as there are perks (I get paid money to do things) there are also the regular non-perks. The main non-perk is the same non-perk that almost every other job has. Other people. If it wasn't for that and the whole … Continue reading If People Were Named After Their Personalities Like Me
NoWayImGoodBro
Ever since I was young, I had a little bit(ter) of a rebellious streak in me. I've always had an issue with authority because I don't like people telling me what to do. I've never had a boss I didn't want to rebel against, a parent or authority figure that liked to tell me what … Continue reading NoWayImGoodBro
The Bitter Transforming Pizza
There is something I have never understood about Halloween. It is one the biggest in this country, where I've heard the most money is spent, and somehow it isn't really a holiday? At least from what I have heard, a holiday consists of me getting the day off. And as long as I can remember, … Continue reading The Bitter Transforming Pizza
Mystery Oreo’s
I'm not a big fan of mystery movies, because the ending is usually pretty stupid. The killer was usually someone you suspected from the very beginning, but they just made other people look slightly guilty somehow. Or the ending is super lame because if you just knew one thing, you would have figured it … Continue reading Mystery Oreo’s
Guest what I did?
I did work. I did work that I didn't get paid for. That's right. I did a guest post. On someone else's blog. Not on mine. So you're telling me that is how all guest posts work? Ugggh. Anyways, I just wanted to make it clear that I did something out of the bitterness of … Continue reading Guest what I did?
Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
A lot of people have this insane ability to be able to flip a switch and be able to turn into beast mode(the Hulk has this ability literally). For a lot of people, the magical elixir is called coffee. Some people can do it in their basketball careers. These professional basketball players have the … Continue reading Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
Watch This YouTube Video (that may or may not feature your favorite bitter person)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=watGFxCDq5w I know you people are pretty bad at watching my YouTube videos, as evidenced by the really low amount of people that watched and commented on my videos I did about 1 or two years ago, and the extremely low amount of viralness they have achieved in the YouTube realm, so now that I've … Continue reading Watch This YouTube Video (that may or may not feature your favorite bitter person)
Ben's Bitter Blog 