Amber Alert Bitter Friday Giftures

You know how those “murder” shows on Dateline NBC or Cold Case files, or Snapped start out? “It was a typical sunny day on a lazy summer afternoon in a sleepy suburb of Salt Lake City. No one would ever expect what would happen on this day September 15, 2020.” Cut to talking to a neighbor saying something like, “They were the nicest family. No one would have ever expect something like this to happen to them. And not in my wildest dreams would I expect something to happen in our neighborhood like that.”

Well, that very thing happened to us six weeks ago. Our Dodge Journey went missing for six weeks. Amber alerts needed to be sent out.

Okay, I exaggerate. We didn’t send out an Amber Alert. And our car wasn’t missing, but let’s just say it was kidnapped.

Let’s go back to the beginning. On that lazy summer afternoon in September, I was using my wife’s Dodge Journey to pick up some kid or another, and the engine light went off. I was hoping it was just a minor thing, but I had to report it to my wife, so she knew it wasn’t me that did it.

She went and got it checked out, decided that she was going to fix it herself, and then decided that I would be helping her fix it. We spent a good hour, trying to do what the YouTube’s told us to do, and decided that it was well above any of our pay grades. We called a mechanic, who was basically working out of his home, he came over, fixed what we THOUGHT the problem was, we happily paid him the smaller fee compared to the bigger guys, and then happily moved on with our lives. Until…the dreaded engine light went off again.

We freaked out, called the guy back, and he said, of course he would look at it to find out what the problem was. We dropped it off the next Monday, and well, that was the last time we would see our Dodge Journey. Over the next 6 weeks, seasons changed, times changed, elections were decided, our kids changed from pre-adolescents to teenagers, our mortgage was due 5 times, and 2 Olympics passed.

Last night, a miracle happened, and our Dodge Journey returned to us. A little ragged, much aged and clearly traumatized, but back with us again. We tucked her gently into bed, gave her a kiss and she slept soundly in our garage. We know that she will need to see some therapists and we will too, but we finally slept soundly for the first time in six weeks, knowing that our Journey was back with us safely again. What a Journey it was…to get to the Bitter Friday Giftures this week.

Oh the places our Journey…

boat GIF

…must have taken.

Did it…

the champions football GIF by Bleacher Report

…look mournfully out the window?

Did it…

donnie darko GIF

…make a new friend?

Did the Journey…

estefannie instagram youtube school ready GIF

…learn something new?

Did it start…

landing old school GIF by Álvaro Abrante

…a new business?

Did it…

The Bachelor Love GIF by Cameo

…start a new relationship?

Did it learn…

Animated GIF

…some new moves?

Did it learn…

Good Vibes Reaction GIF by INTO ACTION

…inner peace?

Did it get a new job…

wearesketchie comedy glitch car scared GIF

…as an Uber driver’s car?

Or did it go back to school…

driver GIF

…as a driver’s ed car?

Did it go…

Classic Car GIF by Mecanicus

…on a diet?

Or did it just…

Animated GIF

…like I did for 6 weeks?

My guess is that it mostly sat there like a bump on a log collecting dust. I mean, if you got the chance to go somewhere else that wasn’t my house, and didn’t have to drive all day, and got to just chill for most of the 6 weeks, that’s what I would do. Wouldn’t you?

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Amber Alert Ben

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2 thoughts on “Amber Alert Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Maybe I should put out an Amber Alert on our VW van. Between bodywork and mechanical work, by folks who do the work in between other jobs, it hasn’t seen our garage in 3+ years. PS: Do you know something I don’t about the election? 🙂

    Like

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