Advanced Scouting Bitter Friday Giftures

My son is a pretty good football player, so we have started to get really into watching his games, participating in functions and caring a lot about the standing and stuff. We are even secretly hoping he will get recruited to play for good high schools, so he can get recruited to good colleges (so we don’t have to pay for his school) and then of course, the ultimate dream of him making the Canadian Football League or possibly the XFL if that is still a thing in a few years.

What is weird is that his team gave us some video on the team they are playing tomorrow and asked that we watch it in order to have them more prepared for the game tomorrow. I’m like really? Now we are those kind of parents? When did we get so far down the rabbit hole that we are now watching in advance a 7th grade opponent? I guess maybe Tiger Woods started all that when we were having him on talk shows when he was 4 years old.

Anyway, I’m now that parent. What are some things that would have been so much better if we had advanced scouts? Maybe doctors taking scouting trips to China to find diseases that were coming to America? Or advanced scouting trips to places of business that we were interviewing with, so we knew their culture and weird people before we interviewed with them? In the end, I think advanced scouting people for friendships/relationships would be the most important. If only we could advance scout our potential dates, so we knew more about the other person’s family, job, interests and such, so we know a game plan before we are going on a first date?

Let’s get to some Bitter Friday Giftures…

Time to do some…

Detective Spying GIF by TTRRUUCES
…advanced scouting.

What is this person like…

Nbc Season 1 Episode 8 GIF by Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist
…in tense situations?

How are they…

gameboy advance GIF
…when they start grooving?

Do they have any idea…

question i dont understand GIF by Scout Durwood
…what they are talking about?

Do they care about…

video games 90s GIF by HuffPost
…things in the past?

Or are they more concerned…

future GIF
…about the future?

What kind of music…

driving waynes world GIF
…are they into?

How much gaming…

video games capcom GIF
…do they do?

Do they talk…

Arnold Schwarzenegger Shut Up GIF by The New Celebrity Apprentice
…too much?

Or do they like to retreat…

Awkward Red-Faced GIF by moodman
…into a shell whenever there is confrontation?

Do they always want…

Napoleon Dynamite Fighting GIF
…to fight?

Or do they just want to…

wedding crashers comedy GIF
…joke around all the time?

You know, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea. What is the downside to having advanced scouts, besides the creepy vibe of people always watching you? I mean, people are watching us all the time anyways, right? This would just be more out in the open about it.

Thoughts?

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Advanced Scouting Ben

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