The Bittervengers

Coming to a Construction site near you.

Coming to a Construction site near you.


I finally went to see the Avengers this weekend. It was action packed and epic and had some of the coolest fights ever (Hulk vs. Iron Man’s Hulk Buster).  Many lessons were learned, like the working together is the best way to fight a common enemy and all lessons learned on previous adventures can be ignored.  And Thor’s Hammer can kind of be a jerk sometimes.


Thor is a jerk.

Thor is a jerk.

Whatever the case, don’t worry.  The Avengers promise that no matter what, they will come together in the end and they will save the world from earth’s mightiest threats.  All they ask is that they can have a town, a countryside, and a few hundred buildings to destroy in order to save us.

Now, in their next adventure, they have been tasked with fixing all the things they have destroyed.  They even decided to do a City Improvement show on HGTV, because of all the City repairs they have to do.  But don’t think that just because they are doing it, they don’t have bitter complaints about it.

Thor – Thor always gets a little bitter because, he is always having to do all the hammering.  He gets a little tired of everyone always making the excuse that “they can’t pick up his hammer”.  He’s always like, “But you can pick up A hammer guys.”  And if that isn’t enough, he’s always in charge of doing electrical, too.  For once, he just wants to be able to do work on the plumbing or some art fixtures on the wall, or even make a wooden bench, but always gets stuck with electrical.


Has an Iron Stomach too.

Has an Iron Stomach too.

Iron Man/Tony Stark –  Iron Man/Tony Starks is the lazy one of the group.  He’s always late, and he’s always saying how his “heart just isn’t into it”. But, he does promise to create some robots to help out. But a lot of the time he spends so much time “working on his robots” that he is barely there to help.  He claims he is in charge of security, but a guy that has had his own mansion destroyed and his tower invaded by Loki, and created Ultron to protect his own house, the rest of the guys aren’t so certain he should be. And by the way, the way he eats on his breaks, you would think he had an Iron Stomach too.

Hulk – Hulk is in charge of demoing the houses/Buildings, but he gets distracted too easily wanting to be Bruce Banner.  He would rather draw up intricate plans and flirt with the Black Widow instead of just smash houses.  Everyone is always asking him to open the pickle jars, or pull up nails and all he wants to do is smash.  And you never can rely on him, because one day shows up on the site as Hulk when he’s supposed to be architecting and other days he shows up as Bruce Banner when they need some demoing.

Captain America – He’s the leader of the crew, but he is also the one making sure that there isn’t any swearing too.  And he is the best when it comes to getting to the job site on time, but you never know when he will lie down at lunch and take a 70 year nap.

Hawkeye – He’s great doing helping as an apprentice on a lot of things, but he gets tired really easily.  And he can only work 9-5 because he has a baby on the way.

Quicksilver – This guy is always waking up at 7:59 and making it to work at 8:00.  Must be nice to be able have a commute like that.

Tune in to HGTV and see if your Avengers can find, demo and flip your town before the next alien threat comes to destroy another town.


Bittervenger Ben


21 thoughts on “The Bittervengers

  1. Yeah, I got these guys to work on my house and it didn’t come out very well at all. Hulk was very bad a the detail work with those hands of his. Plus, temper, temper, temper, you know what I mean?? Rest of the guys just really lazy, terrible work ethic, took forever to get the job done. Turns out they’re completely unlicensed too. Something about superhumans not being eligible.


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