Whether you were doing chores, overindulging on Easter candy or spending too much time watching the NBA Playoffs, cutting the grass, going grocery shopping or catching up on all your family arguments or being lazy ignoring all the things you have to do, you were busy the last two weeks. I was so busy doing … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you needed more things to add to your busy life
Laziness
Cluster luck Friday Giftures
My life is a running disaster. Not in the traditional sense of lightning bolts coming down from the sky, hurricanes lifting my house all the way to Oz, or Spokane, floods overflowing the water table in my basement, or molten lava coming down from an angry volcano. It's more like a light bulb goes out … Continue reading Cluster luck Friday Giftures
The Bitter Sun
It's something like 92 million miles away and it gives Superman his Super Abilities with almost no weaknesses, but the Sun can be kind of a jerk sometimes. On the recent road trip I went on, I talked about my disdain for the heavy repeat of songs, Disney in any form and the … Continue reading The Bitter Sun
Road Trip Music Bitterness
Back in March, when I was finally granted one actual week of vacation out of my 4 possible weeks, it just so happened that it was on the same week as my kids Spring Break from school and the week after my parents were just coming home from Mongolia to their home base of … Continue reading Road Trip Music Bitterness
The Mountainous Barriers of Friday Giftures
Many claim that the mountains are majestic, and beautiful and good for skiing and fun to climb. As a member of the "Growing up in the Midwest without My Permission" Club, I happen to think that they are just in my way. If I want to drive through them, I have to fight all kinds … Continue reading The Mountainous Barriers of Friday Giftures
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
Attack of the Friday Giftures
Usually by Friday, I have taken all I can take. So when I get to work I walk in like a gangster, not taking it any more. I sit aggressively in my cubicle typing things on the keyboard way harder than I normally do. I scowl at people that walk by way more angrily and … Continue reading Attack of the Friday Giftures
The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
As the internet's number 2(because who is more bitter than someone who is only second best) leading expert in Bitterness, I have not once been asked to give a lecture or speech on how it is done. When I figured out that people had absolutely no desire to learn the bitter trade, that is when … Continue reading The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
The Bitter Divide
Last night I was watching the X-Men: First Class and one of the many themes of the movie was divisions and what causes them. At first, most of the X-Men are friends because of the mutual abilities that made the different/better than regular humans with no gifts. The world isn't sure what to do with … Continue reading The Bitter Divide
In case you missed it…because you were busy ignoring the opening of baseball season
There was a time about 13 years ago, when there was a baseball team worth following in this town called the Mariners. They were in the midst of taking a very specific type of steroids that caused them to be able to hit a baseball out of the the baseball park, and pitch fast enough … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were busy ignoring the opening of baseball season
Mayhemy Friday Gifitures
March is the worst. You know the drill. There is the weather, that really let's be honest goes in like a lion and out like a lion. There is your finals that you have to get ready for, unless you are not in school. Or it is your fiscal year end at work and you … Continue reading Mayhemy Friday Gifitures
Bitter Advertising Slogans
I am a liar. Every. Single. Day. Every day, someone asks me how I'm doing and I almost always reply, "Good." or "Fine." when I should always be saying, "Bitter. How bouch you?" to which they will probably reply, "Good." or "Fine." which is an even a bigger lie or "Can't complain." What … Continue reading Bitter Advertising Slogans
Bitter Bartholomew’s Guest Post – The Stolen Time Machine and Going Bitter to the Future
Hello futuristic internet journalists (Bitter Ben calls them bloggers? Sounds like a buddy of mine who works in a forest cutting down trees.) My name is Bitter Bartholomew and I was asked by Bitter Ben to do a guest post? Not sure what that means, but I have allowed to use my post as a … Continue reading Bitter Bartholomew’s Guest Post – The Stolen Time Machine and Going Bitter to the Future
In case you missed it…because you were outdooring
It is pretty tempting this time of year to go outside. Supposedly even if the stupid hamster saw his shadow, it is spring. The weather is sunny just about everywhere except here and warming up. The nuisances called birds and yardwork are returning and snow is melting. Some people are tired of staying inside, … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were outdooring
Bitter Friday Gifture Curse
Hey guys, remember my post yesterday? You know, the one where I was reporting the news about the evil cloud empire and at the end I was being taken away because I was spilling all their guarded secrets? (Did you know when you put data in the cloud they are just stealing all your credit cards and … Continue reading Bitter Friday Gifture Curse
Bitterness in the clouds
BREAKING NEWS. This is Bitter Ben from Bitter Entertainment Network reporting to you live, recorded from my seat at the library where I do my live recorded newsfeed each and every 6 months or so. I'm here today to report to you about a hidden danger that lives among us. Every day these bitter balls of gas and … Continue reading Bitterness in the clouds
A Bitterly Late St. Patrick’s Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2
In case you forgot, yesterday was St. Patrick's day (and I think you know why some people forget St. Patrick's Day...). I think most people are foggy about the reason why we celebrate it, but I'm more foggy on why we don't get the day off. I may not be Irish, but I do like … Continue reading A Bitterly Late St. Patrick’s Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2
In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Talk about boring and meta. Just when you thought this blog couldn't be any more boring, I decided to do an in case you missed it, about an in case you missed it that I missed doing last week. Confused and zoning out yet? Good. Now I can just remind myself of what I did … Continue reading In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
I don't know if it is the fact that daylight savings time happened this week, or that the fact that I have been asked to do work at my job this week, or that I just decided to not sleep this week, but I'm tired. The only tired I want to do is Retired. And … Continue reading Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 