Last night I was watching the X-Men: First Class and one of the many themes of the movie was divisions and what causes them. At first, most of the X-Men are friends because of the mutual abilities that made the different/better than regular humans with no gifts. The world isn’t sure what to do with them, they are not sure what to do with each other, so they join factions. Some mutants want to try to get along and work with the humans, others want to dominate and control them. Some wanted to cure their “disease”, others wanted to embrace it. Divisions happen every day between countries, states, schools, workplaces and even families.
Well, a big one happened to me recently. My parents were on a mission in Mongolia for the Mormon church and yesterday were released from the calling. They were heading home after a year and a half of living there and working among the people. They are genuinely good people that have no hint of bitterness (skipped a generation, apparently) and have done their best to support me in whatever I do. They even read my blog, which is weird, because they aren’t bitter at all. So yesterday as they were traveling home they got some time in between flights and FaceTimed us. They talked to my wife and kids and excitedly told them about how they couldn’t wait to see us and how my kids had grown up so fast, and how they were so thankful to my wife for putting up with me for so many years. Then they said they wanted to talk to me privately. I got that scary “we need to talk” feeling in my gut. What were they going to lecture me about? What had I done wrong this time?
“Ben, it’s about your blog.” Why now? They had read this thing almost from the beginning. Even though they were on a mission, and even though they were millions of miles away, they had still managed to read almost every post. It was easy for me to tell, because whenever I checked my stats, I would see the country of Mongolia. It wasn’t possible that any other person in Mongolia would ever want to read this blog. (Though the weather there suggests that one could be bitter, they aren’t going to want to read some crappy blog about it.) “We’ve spent a year and a half trying to do our best to bring joy into people’s lives. We just think your blog is too ‘negative’ and you should stop doing it.’
Punch in the gut. How could they have been so supportive and then all of a sudden just pulled that on me? They were right though. And they were my parents. Yeah, I am almost 41 and yeah, I have kids that need a good example to look up to. I guess I should just grow up and stop the madness. “Yeah, I had kind of been feeling bad about it, lately.” Maybe I should just stop writing this thing.
So there had been this divide in our family. Over this blog. I just can’t let it come between us anymore. So, I just think that it might be time to give it up. As much advice on bitterness as I have to offer, I just think it will probably be for the best that I just move on with my life. What do you think? Should I continue?
Deep in thought this morning.
Bitter Divided Ben