In case you missed it…because you were outdooring


Outdooring is dangerous.  Stay inside and read this thing.


It is pretty tempting this time of year to go outside.  Supposedly even if the stupid hamster saw his shadow, it is spring.  The weather is sunny just about everywhere except here and warming up.  The nuisances called birds and yardwork are returning and snow is melting.  Some people are tired of staying inside, resting, relaxing and being lazy.  PHHSstt, just joking.  That never gets old.  But there are some people in this world that think that going outside is good for them and as a result, they aren’t reading blogs as much, jerks, this time of year.  So hopefully, now that you are tired of spending time outside, you will have time to catch of to reading blogs.  Mostly mine because you are feeling pretty bitter and you don’t know where else to turn.

As always I was late when it came to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, probably because I’m not Irish, or always wearing green, and especially not a big fan of cabbage or Shamrocks.  However, I feebly attempted to show how much I didn’t care about it in A Bitterly Late St. Patrick’s Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2, because those things have so much in common.  So what happens after St. Patrick’s Day, do the leprechauns fly north for the spring?

Though an intriguing question, it isn’t a necessary one.  A necessary question is: Why are clouds such jerks? Also, when we send data to the clouds, why does it seem like not all of it is available when we want it back?  Why are clouds so moody? Why are they always blocking the sun?  I’ve got enough sun block, I don’t need clouds.  I answer many of these freezing questions in a post I called, Bitterness in the Clouds.

Friday was a day that brought work and people bothering me and that is the last thing I want to deal with on a Friday.  Also, people forgot to save me from our evil cloud overlords, so of course I was mad and cursed you through Friday Giftures, for not saving me.  You’re just like everyone else.  Making me get out of all the messes I create by myself.  So enjoy your cursing and find someone else to uncurse you.

I pathetically bitter twittered once this week:


People commented about stuff:

On a Bitterly Late St. Patrick Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2:

“I hate these so much. I know they’re supposed to be nice, but they are just full of cheese… like, crappy orange, Craft macaroni kind of cheese. As an English major, they just make me want to die, and normally it takes a lot to make me want to die.” flyinguineapig

“‘Keep calm and carry on’ – attempt at bitterization: Your feelings of stress, rage or panic, (bordering on utter terror) will continue until you quit, delegate or end it all. [Please note that this comment was for comedic purposes only and I am not in any way endorsing or encouraging suicide – which is not funny in any way!]” Lydia Devadson

“This is exactly what my Facebook newsfeed looks like.” janeybgood

On the Bitterness of Clouds:

“Here in HOT So Cal, I cannot stand any more sun. We are all dying from skin cancer over here. This is definitely a case of the clouds are always grayer on your own side. I would love a little shade and protection from my ever growing wrinkles. And the chance to make a fire and wear my expensive boots and sweaters! Well, I won’t try to talk to you about any silver linings. Hey, I won’t even say “See ya on Cloud 9.” (but this was a funny post, BB!)” Little Miss Menopause

“It was clouds that prompted Carl and Ellie to see the shape of babies in them in the movie “Up” and to paint a nursery and get pregnant, and then they had a miscarriage and grew old without children, and she died and he was left alone. Screw clouds.” Kerbey

On Bitter Friday Gifture Curse:

“I happily accept your curse and raise you a poltergeist visitation.” Lucy

“I’m sorry i couldn’t save you because a cloud took my head away. why didn’t you save me, so i could save you?”

I decided to do a few bonus pictures, even though you are all cursed because of your bitter apathy and betrayal.

...bothering me.

…bothering me.



Slam Dunk Class

Ever feel like people are dunking on you? and the whole world is glad? I feel like that every day. 

Now you can go back outdoors and get that fresh air that is going to keep you alive as long as me laying on the couch.  Have Bitterness.


Bitter Indoor Ben


57 thoughts on “In case you missed it…because you were outdooring

  1. I am bitter, because there is no spring in Michigan it seems. While people are outdoors and getting back in tune with Mother Nature, we are freezing our butts off and wondering when the next dumping of the white stuff or some nice freezing rain may be headed our way. If spring ever gets here I promise to be bitter about something related to Spring, until then I will just keep muttering bitter curses under my breath about Michigan weather.


  2. Hi Ben,

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  3. Yay, my comment made your blog. The 2nd time this has occurred. Always so bitterly exciting. It prompts a song – – “I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now. From up and down, and still somehow. It’s cloud illusions I recall. I really don’t know clouds . . . at all.

    And with that, I do believe I have exhausted all cloud references that I know of. I await your next topic.


  4. Going outside when its cold is the worst. I watched children play soccer for 3 minutes in a backyard today and also got close enough to a trampoline that I almost touched it. I say I’m good for the next few months.


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