When I was a kid, it was a different time. Kids got yelled at, punished, sent to their rooms, disciplined and we took it like men and women, even though we were kids. We understood when we did something stupid because our parents told us we did. Our teachers yelled, our principles sent us to … Continue reading Rage of the Machines
First World Problems
CouchLust
Some people really like to travel. I know, because I am an avid glimpser of other people's blog. Well, maybe that isn't true. Maybe I just look at the pretty pictures. But what I do know is that there are a lot of travel blogs dedicated to being on the road more than they are … Continue reading CouchLust
Friday Giftures for Days
The days are becoming shorter and I'm okay with that. Daytime isn't good for you. The is the part of the 24 hours period where you have to do things like work, breathe, shop, deal with people, etc. On the other hand, the night time is when you do fun stuff like TV, video games, … Continue reading Friday Giftures for Days
How to Become Humble in One Easy Step
I've never been much of a motivational speaker, or a Self-Improvement guru. In fact, you could probably say I'm quite opposite. I'm more of a Self-Detriment, or demotivational speaker. But this idea burns so deeply in my defibrillated heart, that I can't possibly keep this information to myself. As Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert and … Continue reading How to Become Humble in One Easy Step
Guest Post: Stork Reality by Sam at Delusions of Pretension
I used to be a blogging snob, not allowing other people to guest post or do any reblogging, because I thought it would sully the bitter vibe all over this blog. I didn't think anyone else's opinion on bitterness would ever be anywhere near mine, (which it isn't by the way) but that doesn't … Continue reading Guest Post: Stork Reality by Sam at Delusions of Pretension
Is your refrigerator running?
You know the old adage, "Love hurts?" I'm okay with the heart getting hurt. When some girl cold bloodedly tells you that she has been dating someone else for a little while at the same time and she likes him better. Or when you ask a girl to go steady with a big huge cut … Continue reading Is your refrigerator running?
Car Wash Animals
I don't know if you are having a car wash war where you guys live, but there must be some dirty cars around here. Yeah, there are mountains nearby here, so I assume some people drive around in their Jeep Cherokees for car commercials, but man, I had no idea so many people needed their … Continue reading Car Wash Animals
Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to Meet Me Friday Giftures
There's nothing better or more offensive than when Micheal Scott does a character. The best part is that he can always blame it on the character. Much like I do when I blame all the bitterness on Bitter Ben. He is just the worst sometimes. Anyway, when Micheal Scott becomes Date Mike, he is just … Continue reading Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to Meet Me Friday Giftures
Copy and Paste
There have been many brilliant inventions in our time. The Poo Pourri, the Baby Mop, The Nitted Beard Hat and even the Ab Hancer, but one of the ones that we don't think of on a daily basis is copy and paste. It has saved me a huge amount of time in my life. Especially … Continue reading Copy and Paste
Different Languages
When I was growing up I had no desire to learn a different language. Learning English was hard enough. What I didn't realize was that it isn't just languages like Spanish, Russian, German and Greek are hard to learn. When they say it is all Greek to me, they are right. I don't even know … Continue reading Different Languages
Back for A Bitter New Season
Lost in all the hype of all the new TV shows, football season and hurricanes, fires and other natural disasters, the AP probably didn't pick this up. But they should have, because bitterness is at all all time high and we need this more than ever now. For those of you who are old … Continue reading Back for A Bitter New Season
Why did the Chicken cross the Playground? To get to the other Slide on down to Friday Giftures
I used to tell dumb jokes when I was young. I also told dumb jokes yesterday. You see, I haven't changed. Not one bit. Well I have expanded. My gut. And my back isn't what it used to be. And my face is 10 times older than when I was four. But other than … Continue reading Why did the Chicken cross the Playground? To get to the other Slide on down to Friday Giftures
Coming soon to an Office near you
I am about as big a fan of The Office fan as there gets. Aside from the lunatics on the internet anyways. Since the day we got Netflix, I have watched The Office nonstop. My wife thinks I'm crazy to keep watching the same show over and over again. I have almost memorized all of … Continue reading Coming soon to an Office near you
Belabored Day
Nobody really knows why we celebrate Labor Day. Is it because we celebrate all the women that go into labor? Is it because we like working so hard? Is it because we needed a holiday in the early part of September to have sales at stores? I am all kinds of confused about holidays in … Continue reading Belabored Day
They’ve got no chill for Friday Giftures
Can you just feel the chill of fall coming into the air? It couldn't be that it is September now? That means movies are officially starting to be either terrible or trying to be Oscar films. This also means that Halloween stuff is starting to invade stores and football takes over most people's lives. Or … Continue reading They’ve got no chill for Friday Giftures
We’ve got a Nap for that
You know the old Apple ad slogan, "We've got an app for that?" It's a great one, because people always remember it. And people are always parodying it. Well, guess who is parodying it today? That's right, your not-so-friendly neighborhood Bitterman, me. As a lifelong napper, I know for a fact that there is definitely … Continue reading We’ve got a Nap for that
Energizer Benny
As you know, I major in sitting around on couch eating pizza, but sometimes people feel the need to get me off the duff that I sit so proudly on and make me move. One of the biggest offenders is my son. He is always asking me to do things with him. Not only is … Continue reading Energizer Benny
Water You Thinking?
You know America has all kinds of first world problems. I'm not the richest of people, but I'm sure wealthier than most when it comes to the world. I've decided that you know you are a first world country when plentiful water is available. And I'm not talking about hurricanes that put a city … Continue reading Water You Thinking?
Swift End to Friday Giftures
There is no better way to prepare for a weekend than trying to figure out why someone is stalking you. I'm not sure why anyone would want to stalk me, because my life is exceedingly dull and uninteresting, and all I have is this very famous blog as a platform, but for some reason … Continue reading Swift End to Friday Giftures
Identity Theft is Not a Bitter Joke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC5imk9sG1M Jim Halpert is my prankster idol. For 9 seasons, he spent most of his free time at work (and even extensive time after work), coming up with devious pranks to get Dwight back for being a stickler to rules or whatever. One of my favorite ones, was when Jim found a pair of Dwight … Continue reading Identity Theft is Not a Bitter Joke
Ben's Bitter Blog 