For Christmas, I got pretty much everything I wanted except a new computer, a new TV, a new phone, a vacation to Hawaii, a cruise to Alaska, a new car, and a new house. Seems like people are pretty insensitive to others needs this time of year. Season of giving my butt. They say to have high expectations is the way of bitterness. Must be why I am so bitter. Or why I have high expectations. Chicken or the egg, I guess.
I did get a few things like a tablet and an XBox S and a thingamajig that does stuff. All my family members got stuff too. My kid got one of those hoverboards that neither hover or have any sort of board. My wife got an Ipad and an Iphone. And my daughter got a mirror that you can not only see every pore from a mile away, but also see the each speck of dust on the moon on a clear day.
Each of these gadgets promised wireless connectivity and amazing battery life. Which they did. Problem is, each of them included a charger, which included wires. As much as this world would like to claim that they are a wireless world, each and every one of this wireless things have cords.
Remember when you were a kid and you collected rubber bands, because you could put them together and make a rubber band ball? It wasn’t that for me, it was tin foil. My friends and I thought that if we collected tin foil on the lunches, we could make a ton of money and be rich someday. I never got rich from it, but I probably made more money from it than I did from my first job. I made freaking $2.10/hr working at Little Caesers. And they had the nerve to collect taxes from that too.
Anyway, I think that today with all the devices we have and all the wires that are included with the devices we have, we could make a huge wire ball and make money at the wire collection facilities.
I’m thinking this is how we get to Mars someday. We collect all the unused wires we have, and plug the first one into the wall and keep daisychaining it to an astronauts suit and Abra Cadabra we are on Mars. We just need to make sure that NASA has a pretty tight plug, so people don’t get disconnected. Also that would allow us to be able to play Candy Crush and check our email on Mars. Though we would get pretty frustrated when the Wi-Fi was pretty weak and we got bored cause the neighbor’s are using our Wi-Fi.
Bitter Wireful Ben