Are your kids too busy keeping the peace? Working hard getting along with each other? Are they always doing their best, brushing their teeth, washing their face, complimenting the cook and helping with the dishes? Making good decisions and following directions? Trying to get presents for the holidays?
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to put up with that! Make a stand for bitterness, back biting, disruption and brow beating! For just $19.99 a day, just the cost of a cup of latte a day, I will teach you the steps and principles of creating a better, bitter environment for your kids. No more quiet nights for peaceful reflection. No more, “You’re right, Mom and Dad.” No more playing together, getting along swimmingly, or having quiet conversations. I can teach you and your kids how to start bitter feuding.
It isn’t always an easy process, in fact, it may hurt a little. You aren’t used to the arguing and fighting and the struggle every night. It will take time, but my program is here to help. We will never abandon you when the peace is constantly trying to creep back in.
We will teach your kids how to brow beat you for gifts for Christmas. Hint: It’s all about the P’s & C’s. Persistencey and consistency. We won’t let your child give up on annoying you at every turn. We pride ourselves on a 24 step program that will guarantee a less peaceful home in 30 days, or you will pay us even more money to fix it.
The holidays are upon us. Time us running out. You need some war and loudness at your house. Time is of the essence. Do not delay. Oh, and if you don’t have kids, or they are grown and out of the house, don’t worry about that. I will personally send my kids to your house. They have been fully trained and they are ready to annoy, harass and brow beat you from the moment they get to your house. That is a Bitter Ben guarantee. Don’t delay. Send your money now!
On a side note, many of you are new to the Bitter Ben experience. So, I invite you to follow the Ben’s Bitter Blog Facebook page. I am now an expert on Facebook, so content will be coming to you every day now. Sign up and you will get bonus content you can only find there. Just do it. Or I will send my kids to your house. And they don’t like travelling, so they will be crannnky.
Bitter Brow Beating Ben