Getting along too well? We can fix that.
Are your kids too busy keeping the peace? Working hard getting along with each other? Are they always doing their best, brushing their teeth, washing their face, complimenting the cook and helping with the dishes? Making good decisions and following directions? Trying to get presents for the holidays?
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to put up with that! Make a stand for bitterness, back biting, disruption and brow beating! For just $19.99 a day, just the cost of a cup of latte a day, I will teach you the steps and principles of creating a better, bitter environment for your kids. No more quiet nights for peaceful reflection. No more, “You’re right, Mom and Dad.” No more playing together, getting along swimmingly, or having quiet conversations. I can teach you and your kids how to start bitter feuding.
It isn’t always an easy process, in fact, it may hurt a little. You aren’t used to the arguing and fighting and the struggle every night. It will take time, but my program is here to help. We will never abandon you when the peace is constantly trying to creep back in.
We will teach your kids how to brow beat you for gifts for Christmas. Hint: It’s all about the P’s & C’s. Persistencey and consistency. We won’t let your child give up on annoying you at every turn. We pride ourselves on a 24 step program that will guarantee a less peaceful home in 30 days, or you will pay us even more money to fix it.
Want a little more of this at home? Sign up now!
The holidays are upon us. Time us running out. You need some war and loudness at your house. Time is of the essence. Do not delay. Oh, and if you don’t have kids, or they are grown and out of the house, don’t worry about that. I will personally send my kids to your house. They have been fully trained and they are ready to annoy, harass and brow beat you from the moment they get to your house. That is a Bitter Ben guarantee. Don’t delay. Send your money now!
On a side note, many of you are new to the Bitter Ben experience. So, I invite you to follow the Ben’s Bitter Blog Facebook page. I am now an expert on Facebook, so content will be coming to you every day now. Sign up and you will get bonus content you can only find there. Just do it. Or I will send my kids to your house. And they don’t like travelling, so they will be crannnky.
ARRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Brow Beating Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Give them Cheeseism and they will be at peace.
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I think they did have some of that stuff. I’m trying to get them less at peace.
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So glad we can depend on you to create chaos.
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Yep. But you know, someone has to do it.
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I think my kids somehow got a bootleg copy of your program…figures.
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Yeah, kind of makes my program not so profitable. The black market! UGGH.
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My kids are bitter already! I mean, they’re my kids after all. I will Facebook you though!
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Dang it! Another opportunity lost. I guess my bitterness has already infected too many kids.
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I don’t need this course. My kids were born naturals who are very gifted in this area.
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Dang. I was hoping that many people would need it.
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Just in time…I have to stir the pot or get busy on Amazon. Those little manipulators!
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I’m sure this Made for TV commercial will be perfect for you.
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Sounds good to me.
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Send me money!
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It’s in the mail
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Looks like it got lost. I guess we are both out of money right now.
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that’s odd, so many creditors have been telling me that lately.
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Yeah, creditors should mind their own business. Don’t they have something better to do than to harass us? I’m sure there are much bigger fish to fry.
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They are so bitter…I do like that.
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Yeah, give creditors a quarter, so they can call someone who cares.
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Not even a quarter…did they really expect me to pay them back?
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Yeah, that sounds like way too much of my time and money on them. They get nothing.
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