Sherman Tank Bitter Friday Giftures

 

We have been working on getting into a house for a little while, because you know, it’s nice to live in a place where you get to control the heat and the TV and can send the kids into the backyard or their room so they can leave you alone. Anyways, we decided to finally put an offer down on one. I admit, the offer was a little low, but that is how these things work. You put an offer down, they counter and then you decide on somewhere in the middle. They didn’t go in the middle. They stuck right at their listing price. So, as a bitter individual, I decided to go down the local tank store. I rented a Sherman tank, so I could RUN THEIR HOUSE OVER, because if I can’t have it, no one will. Anyways, how was your evening last night? Seems like the perfect occasion for some Bitter Friday Giftures.

I guess this guy’s dad…

…never played catch with him as a kid.

This ladies mom…

…forgot to play leapfrog with her as a kid.

This ladies mom…

…forgot to bring her to driver’s ed when she was a kid.

This kid…

…well, his board was just possessed by demons.ย 

And this girl…

…just reminds me of both my sisters. They can jab until the cows come home and they can cluck as much as the chickens.ย 

Also this guy…

…does free facials.

And this TV network…

…delivers facials with their logo.

This is how AOL…

…does their advertising. No wonder they are going out of business.

This is a new sport…

…called leafing your grandma alone.

This is how the guys in Canada…

…get their hair curled.

This is how the birds…

…handle the fall.

These guys…

…were definitely on a roll.

This girl was definitely…

…a trip. But at least she said sorry.

Just a thing I’m throwing out here. I’m sure the captions I put on here are the best you’ve ever seen. But maybe next week or some time after that I will leave them all blank and I can have a contest in which you will be able to do the captions. I could award multiple prizes, like air and drinking water from your tap. What do you think? Alright, that is it. The week is finally over. I don’t know how I am going to handle an actual week where five days are required next week. It should be bitteresting.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Sherman Tank Ben

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18 thoughts on “Sherman Tank Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Go ahead and go with the listing price, Ben. Then have the house inspected. Inspectors find all kinds of little things wrong. That’s when you drop your offer by about ten grand–because of all those repairs you’ll have to make, which you probably won’t make anyway, even if they do go down.

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  2. I think that contest is a terrible idea! Because everyone else will come up with super creative ideas that get you a bunch of likes, and they will win. But I wonโ€™t even get to participate, because for some reason, your gifs never move. I wonder if itโ€™s an iPad/iPhone issue? Oh well…I will just keep reading captions under still photos and pretending to get the joke.

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