There has been a lot of talk about money in the news lately. At least I think so, because I don’t really have the news on TV, so everything I get is from Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia, and Ben’s Bitter Blog. I guess BitterCoin is a thing making headlines for all the money it seems to be making people. There was an article yesterday on the BBB and it was about Interest and how it seems to be waning, not only in checking accounts, but in that particular blog.
So, I can’t seem to get enough. Money that is. One of the really disturbing trends is this new form of money called Kohl’s cash? Or is it Kohl’s Kash? Kardashian Kash? I don’t know, but from what I hear it is a really disturbing kind of money that is pretty worthless.
My wife introduced it to me last year. So how it works is you go to this store called Kohl’s. There are many things you can buy in the store, though many of them are useless. Things like clothes, jewelry, shoes, some electrical appliances, and I guess vacuums or something? Anyways, when you actually purchase something you get this piece of money in return. It’s called Kohl’s cash. It is a useless form of money, because you can’t use it at a grocery store, you can’t buy anything with it online, you can’t put it in a bank, or pay your babysitter with it. You can only use it at Kohl’s.
They worst part about it, is that it expires. I don’t know about you, but no form of cash I’ve ever heard of expires. It doesn’t go bad, you can use it forever. So after all you buy just about every piece of useless junk you can possibly buy from Kohl’s, you then have to come back another day to buy even more useless junk to for this Kash to be useful at all.
The best part is that it has no restrictions on what can be purchased with it…other than these exceptions. Nike, Adidas, And1, Pandora jewlery, Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo, Reebok, hardware, software, food, clothes, appliances, handware, footware, winter items, summer items, gum, leather goods, fake leather goods, sweaters, jackets, socks, shoes, boots, greeting cards, postcards, cars, car accessories, gift cards, or other items.
Thankfully there are no restrictions. So you have to search the store like you are on a scavenger hunt to find the one item that you are allowed to use it all on, only to realize that restriction changed 3 minutes ago, and you have five minutes to use it before the Kash expires. You finally find the item, spend 30 minutes at the register getting the kashier to figure it out, get ready to check out vowing to never come back to the store, when the kashier tells you that you’ve earned $5 in Kohl’s Kash. “Don’t forget to come back before it expires next week!”
It’s a lovely economy we live in, where all kinds of useless money exists. I just hope they don’t pay me in my new job in Kohl’s kash, or I’m screwed.
Bitter Kohl Kash Poor Ben