You would think that a guy that sits on the couch as much as I do, wouldn't attract the law as much as I do. You would think that a guy that drives like an old grandma that can barely see over her steering wheel, wouldn't have as many speeding tickets as I do. My … Continue reading My Bitter Life of Crime
Humor
Sibling Bittery
Last year when we decided to move here to Utah, it was mostly because I was going back to school to learn Social Media Marketing. The bitter irony to that is that I am not social at all. As you read from my post a few days ago, I am way more into my screens … Continue reading Sibling Bittery
An ode to the screens in my life
From the moment I wake up my screen wakes up too. The moment I put the head to the pillow my screens sleep too. This is an ode to my TV, my phone and my computer. We all have a combination of three in some manner. You might replace the phone with a tablet, a … Continue reading An ode to the screens in my life
The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures
I guess it is August now, which means it is the dog days of the summer. That means we should lazily be sitting around the house like dogs do in a heat wave right? I am totally down with that. If Pizza Hut could go ahead and deliver pizza to my mouth that would be … Continue reading The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures
Bitter Family Reunions
It's that time of the year now. All your fun vacations are over. You've spent time on your tropical island, did the amusement park, and toured the amazing architecture of some cathedral and it's back to work. You've used up all your vacation time, except for that one week you are hoping to use … Continue reading Bitter Family Reunions
Home run Bitter Giftures
My son and I have had this nightly routine this summer. I get home from work and sweaty and sticky, because my car doesn't have air conditioning. Around 5:30 pm, I throw my stuff everywhere, talk with the wife about our days, and just when I sit down and chill on my phone. Just when … Continue reading Home run Bitter Giftures
I have adjustable speeds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qutU-XiAzFg When I first started to drive at the age of 14, I had to learn on an automatic car. I quickly learned how to do that, and I got bored. In an automatic, all you have to do is push the gas occasionally and the shifting is done for you. I started doing stupid … Continue reading I have adjustable speeds
Bitter Pioneer
Yesterday, there was a holiday being celebrated exclusively in the state of Utah. It is in honor of the day that the pioneers ended up here 170 years ago. It's an awesome holiday because only a very few people get it off. Since it is only a state holiday, if your company happens to be … Continue reading Bitter Pioneer
Not so cool Friday Giftures
I don't work at the speed of light. I have a tendency to be slackadaisical from time to time, especially when it comes to people I don't needing things from me. I take my time to do things mediocrially. But for the most part I get things done within the day that you need it. … Continue reading Not so cool Friday Giftures
Awkward Party of 7, please
I haven't done this before, but today is my oldest girl's birthday. She just transitioned from the awkward age of 12, to the even more awkward age of 13. So officially, I now have a teen living under my roof and that is bad news. I've heard that they can be kind of a pain. … Continue reading Awkward Party of 7, please
Bitter Copywriter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qutU-XiAzFg&t=9s You know how most people when they are young have no idea what they want to be when they grow up? Except maybe that they wanted to be a movie star, or a fire fighter, or a ballerina? Surprisingly, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember the … Continue reading Bitter Copywriter
You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
I am in the middle of an epic struggle called it's the hottest time of the year here, and we have no air conditioning. I was used to that in Seattle, because it never got over 55 degrees there, but here it has been between 95 and like 2000 degrees hotter than sun. I … Continue reading You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
Nothing listens to me anymore
You probably think because I type so many words on blog posts 3-5 times a week, that I talk a lot. Nope. I am a bitterman of few words. I choose to keep all my thoughts and ideas bottled up, so I can one day explode. Either that or I write them here, so that … Continue reading Nothing listens to me anymore
The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe
Did you know Spiderman just came out this weekend? The 15th new one since last Spiderman movie. I've heard it is good or whatever and of course I'm going to go see it, because I'm a sucker and sitting in a cool, dark theater doing nothing beats being in a lighted cool workplace any day. … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe
Power out Friday Giftures
Of course we lose power in the middle of the summer. We have the worst luck in the world (or at least my own world) when it comes to losing power. We used to lose it all the time in Seattle. Any time a tree swayed or a slight wind picked up, you could count … Continue reading Power out Friday Giftures
Video Games Toughest Boss Battle
Last night when I was playing video games, I was having a tough go of it. It wasn't that I was having a particularly hard time against the enemies I was facing. By now, I've destroyed thousands of them using my many techniques, tactics and weapons. I know their tendencies like I know bitterness. It … Continue reading Video Games Toughest Boss Battle
Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
I've always been a closet claustrophobic. And by closet, I mean I hate being in closets because they are cramped. On the other hand, most people are afraid of heights, which I am not. No, I've never been on the top of Mt. Killaminjaro or whatever, but I used to climb on my roof … Continue reading Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
900 Bitter Posts
Just the other day, I was thinking, "Geez, it seems like I've written like a thousand posts." And like always, I was wrong. I wasn't even close. Apparently, I've been slacking, which you know is pretty much my trademark. I have written 900 posts now. I'm sure you all think that if you've written that … Continue reading 900 Bitter Posts
My life as a Bagel
You might know that my favorite food is pizza. If you don't, you've never met me, have never read one of my blog posts, or really don't pay attention to me at all. I realize that within those three categories that is about 99.9999999999% of the population, but it is really hard to not know … Continue reading My life as a Bagel
BitterFest 2018
I'm on Instagram from time to time and all I see are all these things that stupid people are doing. Like active things, out doing stuff, going places. Obviously we need more people to just take pictures of themselves just sitting down, doing lazy things. As I wrote in a previous post, I am going … Continue reading BitterFest 2018
Ben's Bitter Blog 