Alexa and Google


My daughter is always making sure that I’m up to date on the latest memes, though occasionally I find some of the older ones a lot funnier. One of my favorites of all time is the following: “This is my job. It’s soda pressing.”

One of my all-time favorites.

I don’t know if this next one is a meme, but it basically calls out James Bond. While he might be the most famous spy in the world, he is also the worst. Because the job of a spy is in people NOT knowing who you are. Do you know who the world’s best spy is? No one does. Because they are so good at it, nobody even suspects them.  It could be an ordinary Joe or someone that you work with. But, you will never know.

I didn’t really think about spies much and people listening in on my conversations until I saw that movie with Will Smith and Gene Hackman (and even a young Jack Black!) called Enemy of the State. In the film, it showed how many cameras, listening devices, and bugs can and will be accessed if some organization(IE the government) needs to follow someone. In fact, the internet was pretty new back then, so with the addition of that and social media, it is near impossible not to be found if someone doesn’t want to find you.

It means everyone is bugging us.

The sad thing is that my life is so boring that there is no reason any organization would want to dedicate all the technology and effort into following me.

But, on the other hand, there is a reason why other spies would want to bug my house. Money. Companies want all the information they can get from us because that information can bring cash.

Who knew that some of the best spies would be unassuming ladies? Some ladies called Alexa, and Bixby, and Hey Google, and Cortana.

She doesn’t cure depression, but she does a dang good job of spying.

That’s right, these ladies had been hiding in our homes, spying on us for years and they were good at it. At first, we would wonder how, when the moment we mentioned that we needed some Great Harvest bread, it immediately showed up on our feed. We just chalked it up as good marketing.

Then, it started to get way less subtle and they were way more specific. The other day, I asked Alexa what the weather was for the day.

She immediately chimed in, “It’s going to be cold, kind of like how your wife is going to treat you if you don’t give her the Coach purse she just thought about a few seconds ago. Luckily it is on sale at for $450.42 this week for only 3 days.”

Then the other day I was in the shower after my wife left to go run an errand and I was alone in the house. When I got out, I heard the TV was on the QVC channel and my wallet (that I left in the other room) was out on the bed, and I heard Alexa reading my credit card number to the lady on the screen for an outfit that matched the purse for my wife.

My wife has never been happier with my gifts.

While I was appreciative that my wife liked the gifts, I also am not to sure how I’m going to pay back that bill. I assume at this point Alexa is able to go get a job to pay for all these things.

Then I might not object so much to all her and Hey Google listening to me all the time.  In fact, my wife would probably love it if I listened as much as Alexa did.

What are your guy’s experiences with Alexa and Hey Google? Any creepy spying being done in your house? Or it is nice to have someone in your house finally listen to you for once?


Bitter Alexa and Hey Google Ben


18 thoughts on “Alexa and Google

    • She probably was listening to your think about what your comment was going to be and sent ads of my blog to your feed. While I’m sorry about it, I’m also hoping you buy all the Bitter Ben products that I will be inventing to sell you as soon as you start getting the ads.


  1. I keep a No Trespassing notice for the above mentioned AI’s (Cortana is in my laptop…starving to death in the dark, as I won’t have her bugging me). While I realize just being on the Internet will cause ads to show up, my intelligence level is not so compromised that they faze me one iota. I may be biased, but I’m betting the pennies in my wallet that you’d top any Bond guy Hollywood’s foolish enough to serve up–there’s your blog-person ego-stroke for the evening. My neighbor (who moved away) was enamored with whomever his AI gal was…by now, I’m guessing she stole his brain and left for Aruba.


  2. I’ve just grudgingly accepted that Alexa and Siri are our new, omnipotent overlords, and that they will hear whatever they want to hear. Whatevs, I guess. 🤷🏾‍♀️


Your Bitter Comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.