Weening off Bitter Friday Giftures


I’ve never been big into using long names for people. I’ve always been a nickname person. For each of my siblings, my wife and kids – I have nicknames for all of them. Who needs to call someone their long name? That requires so much effort. I even go by my short name. Can you imagine having to get bitter advice from a guy called Bitter Benjamin? It would be such a hassle to spell all those words out.

Which brings me to my point. Halloween is coming up and it has always been such a long name. Three syllables, 9 letters and a couple of repeat letters. I think it is time to ween ourselves off of the long version of the name and just call it Ween. Or Wen so we don’t repeat any letter.  You know, we probably need to just move onto the Bitter Friday Giftures just so we can cleanse our pallets of this ridiculous rant. Here they are:

Cats certainly don’t like…


Trees get a little short…

…because no one listens to them. 

Your playtime sometimes…

….needs to be shortened too. 

Sometimes even your poles…

…fall a little short.

Skateboards have a tendency…

…to fast track you to the hospital.

It always seems like things

…swing in other people’s favor.

What do you say…

…we kick things off.

Like mother…

…like son.

Some people are so talented…

…they can do things backward.


…you just have to take a big leap of faith.

Sometimes you just have to hang on for dear life…

…and hope that someone is there to catch you.

Sometimes you have to improvise…

…and hope nobody notices.

I like my posts just like I like my names. Short and bitter. Have a weekend.


Bitter Shortness Ben

21 thoughts on “Weening off Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Precisely why I cut my absurdly long 4-syllable last name down to just 3 letters. Short and sweet, baby. Just like my ‘Ween candies.


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