Dreams Coming True Bitter Friday Giftures

 

Many people talk about their dreams coming true. Someone just got their dream job. Another met their dream man or woman. Someone else is going on a dream vacation. On the other hand, I do all those things. Except then I wake up. Most of the time, life is a bunch of days that look alike. You get up, go to work, or look for work, come home, eat dinner, sleep for several hours. When they say it is the grind, they aren’t kidding. And once a week, there is a bunch of bitter Giftures whether you asked for them or not. So if these gifs are your dream, then you are in luck. For everyone else it is just another part of the grind that happens every single Friday. At least it is consistent. So here we go with another edition of Bitter Friday Giftures.

Did somebody just get shades of…

…two different movies out this fall? 

If only my dreams were…

…more food-related. 

This is a more realistic view…

…of what happens to my dreams. 

Unfortunately, this is pretty close to the…

…dreams I have now. 

This is not what I mean…

…about following your dreams. 

Leering at your dreams…

…is also not an acceptable practice. 

You better be careful not to follow your dreams too closely…

…or you might end up with a restraining order.

Don’t follow your dream too closely…

…or you might end up colliding with the dreamer ahead of you.

When it comes to dreams aim low…

…like looking like James Harden when you walk backward.

Don’t aim too low though…

…because you might actually hit your target.

Definitely don’t aim too high…

…especially if you are afraid of heights.

Just be mediocre in everything you do…

…so you never stand out at all.

There you go, bitter dreamers. Don’t aim too high, or too low, definitely don’t dream big and don’t stalk your dreams as there may be a restraining order against you. Is that enough advice for you? Can you now just let me be so I can go spread the mediocre and bitter news somewhere else? What are your thoughts on dreams? Have you ever achieved one? I’m still waiting on realizing my first.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Dreams Not Coming True Ben

12 thoughts on “Dreams Coming True Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. My dream today is that I survive NaNoWriMo…complete my novel, and then it “magically” gets published and people all over the world are saying, “this is the best book I’ve read in ages!” I don’t care about getting rich or crazy-famous, I’d just like to leave something wonderful behind…so that bitter people get a lift! 🙂 Blessings on you and your family, Ben–I’m glad to know you! Avia

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    • Yeah, I could never commit to NaNoWriMo. I always knew I would get to Thanksgiving and just give up. I did write and complete a first draft of my book a while ago and after that, I had so many changes to the first draft, I would have just had to write the book over again. Nowadays, I’m just thinking of hiring a ghostwriter, so I can at least get the story out there. I think it’s a good story, I just don’t have the endurance to be a good novel writer.

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        • I have been looking into it. I first found a company that will do it for $15,000, but they only do it for non-fiction, and they consult with you before they will take you to make sure “you are the right fit. If you do pass though, they will help you through the process, print and publish your book, and promote the heck out of it. I did find another service that did fiction and they are around 15-25000 for a book, but they don’t necessarily help you get it published, though they do give you help getting letters to publishers, etc. I just started googling. I can give you names if you are really interested after the huge price tag.

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        • I stopped filling out those stupid and numerous forms when I foolishly opted to order some aluminum bowls with plastic lids, thinking hopefully it might up my chances for the BIG WIN. The bowls are okay, I guess–but the plastic lids ripped upon first use/washing. Way over-priced…color me DONE. So now you have an additional chance of winning…you can thank me later! 🙂

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