If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much … Continue reading Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
entertainment
Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear. Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car. It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been … Continue reading Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
Bitterly Fresh Air
It was around 5:30 pm on Mother's Day and the kids were getting restless. By restless, I mean they were getting on our nerves. Somehow, the clouds and rain had decided to take the day off. Sunshine was penetrating every window in the house and it was getting stuffy inside. Mom needed to get … Continue reading Bitterly Fresh Air
Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Work is my all time favorite thing to be bitter about. Why you might ask? The thing you most want to complain about is the thing that you have to do the most. Also, if you ever want to talk about it, you have to be sneaky, like when you are at home and … Continue reading Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Some people (like you) have big goals, lofty ideals and save the world mentality. Some people just want to watch the world be bitter (me). Regardless of your goals and expectations, sometimes you fall short(or always you fall short. Uh hem me.) There is nothing bitterer than falling short of expectations. The worst thing of … Continue reading Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Bitter Problems
It's a perfect day outside. The sun is shining, traffic is light, birds are chirping, welcoming the season of spring gently. A hard month end is over, so work will be light, co-workers will be happy and customers in a good mood. Maybe I can even go outside for lunch, get a little sun and … Continue reading Bitter Problems
Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
Things are getting all intense up in here. The NBA playoffs are finally here, crazy things are happening on Season Finale's all over television, and even WordPress is making some insane decisions. Probably about the time you read this, a post I did on my birthday entitled 41 Reasons to be Bitter will be … Continue reading Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
As the internet's number 2(because who is more bitter than someone who is only second best) leading expert in Bitterness, I have not once been asked to give a lecture or speech on how it is done. When I figured out that people had absolutely no desire to learn the bitter trade, that is when … Continue reading The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Talk about boring and meta. Just when you thought this blog couldn't be any more boring, I decided to do an in case you missed it, about an in case you missed it that I missed doing last week. Confused and zoning out yet? Good. Now I can just remind myself of what I did … Continue reading In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
I don't know if it is the fact that daylight savings time happened this week, or that the fact that I have been asked to do work at my job this week, or that I just decided to not sleep this week, but I'm tired. The only tired I want to do is Retired. And … Continue reading Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
Back on March 8, 2012, I was pretty bitter. Just like every other day, but this day, I had enough of anonymously being bitter. I had complained one too many times about how hardcore my job sucked to my co-workers and so they called started calling me Bitter Ben. So on that day, I found … Continue reading 2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
It's Frickin Friday and I don't care. I don't care about work, or science or what I cram down my pie hole. And by that I mean Pizza. I'm gonna slap some tomato sauce or paste or whatever on some crust, lots and lots of cheese, whatever kind, and pepperoni, put it in an oven, … Continue reading It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
As you may know, I was recently preparing my speech for my nomination to get into the Bitter Hall of Fame. Though I was nominated, I didn't get in. As per normal, I got within in one vote of getting in and I blame the people who don't follow my blog. To say I am bitter about it is an … Continue reading My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
I was watching the credits of a movie the other day, and they were long. Really long. An hour and a half later, I woke up and they were still running. Sure it was an epic show, (so much drama, Grown Ups 2) , but what I learned is that it clearly it takes a lot … Continue reading A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Welcome to the off orange colored carpet, where we welcome all the really bad stars of really bad movies. As you know almost every single person either nominated or not nominated loses, so let us really focus on how much a bunch of losers we all really are. To do so, let's rehash old(all … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Magically Bitter Friday Gifitures
Magic has been in the air lately. By in the air, I mean on the air. And by on the air, I mean on TV. Now You See Me, The Wonder Burt Wonderstone, Harry Potter... They have all been on TV this week, which means that magic is in the air. So I assume that … Continue reading Magically Bitter Friday Gifitures
Winning the Complaining Game
Some people think that America's pastime is baseball, lacrosse, or barbequing on the Fourth of July. Sure, those things are all pretty American, but those things on occupy our time when we have leisure time. I don't know about you, but I spend most of my time at work dreaming about leisure time, that other things … Continue reading Winning the Complaining Game
Xbox bitterness (aka Xbitterness)
People like shiny things. Many of you, not me, are fooled by stuff that looks new and has be purchased because it will make you look like a vampire from Twilight. Instead I prefer to wait to get the next big thing until it is year's old. (See: my phone, my clothes, my house, car, … Continue reading Xbox bitterness (aka Xbitterness)
Ben's Bitter Blog 