Yesterday I learned that roller skating still exists. I thought it was just a bitter part of my youth. When I was the biggest dork in class (only that last 44 years or so) roller skating was the thing to do for school parties. When I first started skating I was pretty good at … Continue reading Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures
Bitter Friday Giftures
Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
There are signs all over that tell you, "Do not enter". I see them a lot when I am driving on the wrong ramp on the freeway. I also hear a lot of people honking when I do that too which is weird, because they are the ones driving the wrong way. Not to mention … Continue reading Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
Surprise! Friday Giftures
Surprise parties are kind of the worst. Birthdays are already invaded by other people that never talk to you on Facebook all of a sudden sending you profound birthday messages like, "Happy Birthday!" The rest of the day is either work, or family or friends calling you with some super sweet small talk which drives … Continue reading Surprise! Friday Giftures
The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
This week has just been...uggh. I should have expected that though, as it is my least favorite month of the year. The rejections came fast and furious, usually waiting for just the right moment. I get some sort of momentum going then, Schreechhhh! It's comes to a halt by just a few stupidly placed … Continue reading The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
I've never been much of a St. Patrick's Day guy because I don't like being told what color I'm supposed to wear, and I don't like people in my personal space trying to pinch me. And if they pinch me, I should be growing an inch, not because I forgot to wear green. Plus, when … Continue reading St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
You know those cats that are on those posters that are hanging on a rope and the stupid caption above their head says, "Hold on or something" or "Hang in there, man, you hang in there, you got that McClane?" Well the gifs being presented today are nothing like those motivational moments. These are … Continue reading Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
That was a close shave…Friday Giftures
I'm not sure where that expression came from. I have been shaving since I was 14, and I've never had a close shave. I've had shaves that have cut, bruised, bled, caused multiple blood spots, and splotches, but never had one close. And for goodness sakes, I shave all the time and somehow it … Continue reading That was a close shave…Friday Giftures
It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures
That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren't supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy would rot all their … Continue reading It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures
Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures
As we embark on the NBA All-Star weekend, we celebrate what the NBA is most famous for. Not the slam dunk or the 3 point shot, or the monster block, but the trash talk. It isn't good enough to dunk on someone, you have to then deliver a well placed insult to the opponent you … Continue reading Delivering the Facial Friday Giftures
Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures
Seeing that the ratings on this show have been dipping for a while, I thought we would try something a little different to get the ratings up. Actually, we are going to do pretty much what other shows do when their ratings are dipping. We are going to do a live blog. So starting … Continue reading Friday Day Live on Friday Giftures
Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures
It's hotter than the trendiest nightclub, cooler than the cold weather the groundhog is predicting for the next 6 weeks, fresher than the bagels at Einsteins Bagels this morning, more bitter than unsweetened chocolate, and more hashtagy trending that Twitter and upwardly blue arrowy than Facebook. Iiiiit's Bitter Friday Giftures.... Though the gifs are … Continue reading Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures
There has been a lot of sledding going on around here, what with there being snow on all surfaces lately. I've heard that some people actually get to sled downhill, which sounds super easy and fun. I wish I knew how that worked, because everywhere I've ever sledded has been an uphill both ways … Continue reading Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures
Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Nope. I know what you are thinking. This has nothing to do with Viley Mirus. I'm talking about those big balls of forged steel that take down brick structures faster than a pig can run all the way home. I have one of those and he can ruin a house faster than a greased … Continue reading Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Gifsketball
When I was grew up I was a natural athlete. I could run like a slug, jump like a turtle, and watch sports on TV like a full grown man. Because I was tall(ish), I was forced to be athletic in basketball. I kind of hated it in seventh grade, mostly because all the … Continue reading Gifsketball
H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
I don't like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don't like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn't stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer … Continue reading H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
I've been hearing a lot of bells ringing a lot lately. I don't know if it's the ringing in my ears or if it is Grinch stalking us on the roof waiting to steal all my stuff as soon as we leave the house, but it sure is making it hard for me to … Continue reading Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
Throwing in the Towel Friday Giftures
I've never been in a fight before, other than that one time in college when I was walking home, minding my own business and three guys attacked me. It's not important why they attacked (probably because they were a bunch of bullies, or because I egged them on. Again not important which). Of course, … Continue reading Throwing in the Towel Friday Giftures
Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
So I wasn't bowling the other day and I was trying to strike up a conversation with someone, just kidding, why would I ever do that? Anyways, I was driving in the wrong lane, when I came upon something in the gutter...ball, and it struck me that I needed to do something this coming … Continue reading Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
It’s snow fair Friday Giftures
Don't you just love when it is the first snow of the year and everyone drives on the road like they are one of those horses that are just born and are trying to walk for the first time? I really do enjoy seeing all the cars in ditches, and cars sliding around like … Continue reading It’s snow fair Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 